|Reviews for Persona 5: Salvation|
| bryf963 chapter 3 . 12/17/2014
Lol my nigga did the sound effect for the social link.I like it so far bro
| megzarie chapter 18 . 12/22/2013
Hey there. I just wanted to know if you are still taking OCs or not and which arcanas are available if you are still taking oc stheubmissions. I think I might have a decent oc in mind if you need her.
Also since I am typing this review, I might as well tell you about my thoughts on this fic.
I think as far this being your first persona fic, it's not bad. The first few chaps were kinda iffy grammatical wise. I am pleased that you have a beta reader for the other chapters and for future chapters now. The story has some interesting ideas like the Light Hour and Minato being a resident of the Velvet Room. Beyond that... I have nothing else useful to say. I do however, want to see where this story will go. :3
| Sraosha chapter 2 . 12/22/2013
Okay, apologies about my complain in the earlier review. Regardless of my opinion, I want to see how this turns out. I was hoping that your story would take place in a different setting than Persona 3's, but even so I'm going to reserve judgment. I should apologise if I sound a little critical. Please don't take it as a personal attack. This is just my opinion, and possible suggestions on how to improve.
The second scene seems to have a little too much exposition, if you ask me. Namely the lengthy description of his appearance. Not everything needs to be revealed right away. Also it seems a little too similar to Minato, from A: living in Iwatodai, moving away, then moving back and B: Ms Toriumi bringing up a past accident. I understand it's hard to come up with unique characters, but it would help to make them stand out more. Still, I do like Kai's relationship with Rin. It is nice to see a protagonist start off with a close friend already.
Considering Mitsuru's age (22 in 2013, I believe), I find it hard to believe she could become directress of a high school. Also, there's quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes (there IS a difference between their and they're.). But on a positive note, Patholón is a neat Persona.
So to summarise:
1: Avoid mimicing story elements of Persona 3 - I'll have to read and see if you do this or not
2: Check grammar and spelling
3: More natural introduction of character appearances and personalities. In regards to Daiki and Kawazoe, it'd make more of an impression to see their traits, rather than have them described. Show, don't tell, is the golden rule.
Again, I apologise if I sound overly critical. I'll read the other chapters and see if you improve. Don't be discouraged, though.
| Sraosha chapter 1 . 12/22/2013
Why can't you make your own characters for this story? Why do you need people to submit their own? It's not that hard to come up with original characters, is it?
Sorry, it's just something that's been bugging me on this site. Apart from that, I'm impressed by your choice of Personas. Celtic myth is rather awesome, especially the legends of Setanta/Cu Chulainn. I'm going to read ahead and hopefully I won't have many complaints other than the OC thing.
| chronos-luminos chapter 17 . 11/29/2013
So many social links coming out in this chapter. I really like how their relationships are beginning to form. Kai has mad luck in cards, I suppose. Reminds me of how ridiculously good some of my friends used to be at blackjack XD.
A new arcana huh? Hope sounds like a good one.
Lots of new things surfaced during this chapter and the appearance of a new character makes things even more exciting. I wonder what Kane Murakami will bring to S.E.E.S. This chapter was really good and I hope to see the next one soon!
Also, Happy Thanksgiving as well!
| A Jack Frost Guy chapter 17 . 11/28/2013
Ha ha, looks like our former Fool was in a dire state of sorts. XD Still, even though the story's still not too far in, the new SEES has gone a bit of a way indeed... wow, time flies, man.
Interestingly, was there an actual Hope Arcana in the minor Arcana? Or was that one a major Arcana from another deck? I'm only familiar with the ones used in the game itself, you see :P. Moving away from that one though, the Social Links are building up quite a fair bit this chapter! Kai's World and (newly established) Fortune links, and Hitomi's version of the Lovers and that intriguing Hope link. Tough luck for Terry (I dunno the rules of the game, but beaten by 1 point? That's unlucky in my book), and somehow, I imagined Michiko doing a spit-take when Hitomi asked if she and Kai were dating. XD
And then of course, we've got Kane who just awakened his Persona and dropped his ID. I'll be keeping track of when SEES notices that... (come think of it, Kane's the first fire-using character that's NOT a Wild Card in this fic)
As always, I await the next chapter!
| chronos-luminos chapter 16 . 11/5/2013
And they finally meet...
Well, Minato wanting to send Mitsuru a letter was a curious thing, seeing that she might just strap Kai to a chair and interrogate him. There'd probably be tons of questions in her mind right now. Future events are hard to anticipate and I'm looking forward to the next few chapters.
Good work and keep it up! I'm awaiting the next installment very eagerly!
| jhellou chapter 16 . 11/4/2013
| A Jack Frost Guy chapter 16 . 11/3/2013
Hmm... while I was kinda hoping for the twins to be more shocked than this, it was still a rather well-executed meeting between them in the Velvet Room. And Minato finally gets into contact with Mitsuru, huh? At least it'd give her (and the rest of SEES) relief that he's currently alive and kicking. And somehow, I should've seen the flowers returning to bite Michiko in the rear like that. XP
As always, looking forward to the next chapter.
| Raidou The 16th chapter 15 . 10/23/2013
I vote for Kai being the main protagonist. And oh, the lovers social link began. I wonder how that will play out. I wonder how most of the social links will play out, actually. Keep up the great work.
| A Jack Frost Guy chapter 15 . 10/23/2013
Ah, gotta love how the cast keeps one-upping that Ekoda... Never liked the jerk. Also, Kai ought to be glad that Kane was the one tending to the headache; if Edogawa is the same as he was in the original games... well, it could have been the strange concoction prescription for Kai. Urgh. And Michiko's link has begun, huh? Wonder what you planned for ranks 6-8; was completely at a loss on what to do there myself after all...
In any case, as always, I await the next chapter!
P.S. I'm quite torn between which of the Akira siblings to vote for as main protag, they both seem to have significant importance in the events to come... *scratches head with both hands*
| chronos-luminos chapter 13 . 10/8/2013
I apologise for not reviewing any sooner that I should have but exams just turned the corner on me and I just finished them.
I don't really have much to say, but I see you have been doing well on your writing. Also, I didn't expect Minato be paired with Fuuka (regardless of the poll) and despite not liking any pairings with him, the way you present their relationship is fine.
I'm mystified at Terry's background and honestly, how did he live with being a persona-user for a long time as well? I hope to find the answer soon.
Great job on the story and I wish to see a new chapter soon!
| A Jack Frost Guy chapter 13 . 10/7/2013
I spy a Shin Megami Tensei reference in there. And sorry for being AWOL, I've been pretty darn lazy to leave reviews behind as of late... I certainly wasn't expecting Terry to have been a Persona-user from the get-go though; how'd that happen?... And he doesn't use an Evoker, on top of that. Questions, questions and more questions...
Either way though, I think I'll be preparing myself for the moment when Kai and Hitomi find out that they're both of the Fool Arcana; that moment can't be far off!
| Kuro.usa99 chapter 11 . 9/14/2013
Love it so far, so keep it up, and...also it gives me a lot of idea for my fanfic, it's not that i'm copying..but, oh well, the point is i Love it. :) when Orpheus evolved to Amergin, that's awsome Idea!
Anyway, please continue as soon as you can tehee
| Raidou The 16th chapter 11 . 9/13/2013
Cool. Nice insight on both Kai's (near) past and Mainato's future after he 'died'. Nice chapter.