|Reviews for Something of Our Own|
| Estoma chapter 10 . 7/16/2014
Reviewing this cause I really should, and I love to :)
Usually I don't like Haymitch, or Everlark very much. In fact, I'm not really following many stories at all. Yours is one of the two things I'm actually reading on here, and I am loving it.
It's such a slow pace; it's really mature writing.
I'll be interested to see how long Haymitch goes without another relapse, and the character of Doctor Olsen is rather interesting, too.
| Ship's Sails chapter 1 . 7/16/2014
This was fantastic! I think you did a great job of capturing Haymitch's character, and Hazelle seems interesting. The beginning line is very good and really sets the tone nicely. I think I only have one little question. In the third paragraph of the second section, you explain that the people suspected even before Haymitch won that he would win using a weapon the Capitol had indirectly supplied him. Although I understand the point you're trying to make, I think that the way you've phrased this kind of makes Haymitch's stunt with the axe seem somehow less than innovative. If other people could see this coming, it loses some of its shock value. Anyway, that's a minor point, and that's the only criticism I have of the chapter. It's absolutely wonderful. Great job.
| Cat Alex chapter 10 . 7/12/2014
Another great chapter! Still can't wait to see what's going to happen. I love how these little plot threads are weaving themselves together!
| worldwithinworld chapter 10 . 7/11/2014
Katniss's caring nature really shined in this chapter. She's not necessarily sweet about it, but she does care about others. The different ways she interacted with Peeta, Hazelle, and Haymitch fit her relationships with each.
The interaction between Haymitch and Peeta was another highlight. I like how you have Haymitch thinking this, "Of course the boy would insist on helping everybody but himself," and saying this, "Worry about yourself, all right?" To which Peeta says, "Take your own advice for once." They both get so frustrated with the other for the very same sort of behavior, and I like how that similarity in their personalities is made clear.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 10 . 7/10/2014
Brief and wonderfully effective glimpse of Peeta dealing with Hijacking, haven't read many stories giving that recover the attention it deserves. Hazelle only seems to have a brief part, but she's very strong in her interaction with Katniss. Olsen, Haymitch and the others seem to be building a foundation for recovery, but I don't think Haymitch appreciates the escape he'd had, since he's lived through so many scrapes and hates his life anyway. All dialogue very good, maybe scene setting before Hayelle goes to Haymitch's house could be a little clearer, but excellent chapter all round.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 9 . 6/20/2014
Very good confrontation and reconciliation between Hazelle and Gale. I wouldn't imagine that Gale knew Prim was going to be killed; how much else he knew is a mystery but your interpretation is convincing. Thought Haymitch and Hazelle were really going to get closer, but seems like it'll get worse before it gets better...it seems like both of them have things to apologise for.
I was just re-reading treasure island and its a bit notable how Stevenson produces some convincingly rough and bad-tempered pirates without printing any swearwords at all. I realise I'm speaking because of my beliefs, but this would work perfectly well without swearing too.
| Temeti chapter 9 . 6/17/2014
Loving your characterization. Looking forward to seeing where you're going with this.
| worldwithinworld chapter 9 . 6/10/2014
Love that we finally got to the conversation with Gale. It was pretty tough emotionally, but I thought it was in character for both.
| Estoma chapter 9 . 6/9/2014
*actually remembers to review this*
Well, you know I love this story, and I look forward to each new chapter I send over.
Particularly thought it was appropriate for Haymitch to have a relapse. He'd been doing so well, it only makes sense for him to have some struggles along the way. I'll be interested to see what happens, and if his suicidal thoughts fade as he sobers up. I think it'll be a job for Hazelle and 'the kids' to show him that he has plenty to give back to the district.
| Estoma chapter 8 . 4/30/2014
Thought I had reviewed earlier. Never mind, here now.
I'm not going to disagree with the removal of the song lyrics; it seemed to be causing you a bit of stress. A well placed chapter title can give just as much of a hint about the chapter's contents, anyway. I like this one, because it can relate both to Haymitch (with his relapse) and Hazelle (with the phone call that's probably her murderous son).
I say it every time, but you're creating such a brilliant world, filled with characters waiting to speak for themselves. Dana, the engineer, is really interesting. I'd like to hear more about her, and about the workers from District 7, also. I love seeing this head canon evolve because it's so mature and thought out.
The parents talking about their children, realising that they are doing it a lot, but continuing anyway, is a lovely touch. It's just what they do, isn't it? Very realistically painted scene.
Lovely work, as always.
| Ellenka chapter 8 . 4/26/2014
Oh Mitchie, I feel you. And the hand-pressing sign language still gets me. So beautiful as always. (and sorry it took me so long whoops)
| Danny Barefoot chapter 8 . 4/20/2014
Good to look at the rest of the community, perfect expression of Haymitch's isolation and self-hatred, the little Katniss/Peeta mention was also cute. Mysterious chapter title, wondering what Gale-related trouble is coming.
| GrossGirl18 chapter 8 . 4/17/2014
I just began reading, and I've really enjoyed this story so far. It's very well written. I look forward to the next chapter.
| Danny Barefoot chapter 7 . 3/18/2014
Thought I should read this, and it's very good. The reality of Haymitch's problems, distant relationships and conversations with Hazelle really come through, and there's a bleakood throughout. Just remember, they love each other really! I like the development here as well, do write more soon.
| Estoma chapter 7 . 3/8/2014
I am loving seeing Hazelle's continual development as a character. I've really never read it before. Here, she's revealed a bit of a vulnerable and touchy side and it's wonderful to see her as a person with things like that rather than just Gale's mother.
The argument with Haymitch was a long time coming. There's a wonderfully slow burn to this story, but I'm certainly glad to have seen that little confrontation. It seems to me like a bit of a turning point. Now, we might see a slightly different dynamic with Haymitch and Hazelle? I'm very interested to see how you move on from here.
The dialogue itself is smooth and very fitting for two older people, rather than angsty teenagers that we write so often. You did that well.
Nice bit of humour at the end, there.
As always, looking forward to the next chapter.