Reviews for Starting Over |
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roy23 chapter 2 . 9/14/2013 It's good to know that Naruto would prepare himself better this time. And a good description of his past. Can't wait for more! |
A Reviewer chapter 2 . 9/11/2013 This story is interesting, but difficult to understand. When you do your (Scene Breaks) I can't tell if you are writing about Naruto's past or his present. Is he currently living in these conditions or are they coming up in his future and you are going to write about their occurrence through the perspective of the Time Traveling Adult Naruto? Until that is cleared up, this story will remain difficult to follow. |
Starry.Dreamer.kitten chapter 2 . 9/11/2013 I like how you have used time travel however can you please do a flashback or something to explain how he got there |
d chapter 2 . 9/9/2013 update |
Blue-Rose-Princess chapter 1 . 9/9/2013 I love it |
dalulzing chapter 2 . 9/9/2013 I like what you did by including the meditation. I am curious to see what kinds of self-training Naruto will be able to put himself through without tipping off the Hokage. Maybe he could get away with accidentally learning to wall-run. the extra time would also be great for taijutsu technique. |
Lawrensu chapter 2 . 9/9/2013 please update again soon. i need to read the next chapter ahaha |
dalulzing chapter 1 . 8/25/2013 you have my curiosity. Give me a decent sized chapter within a week and you will have my atttention |
loretta537 chapter 1 . 8/25/2013 this sounds like it will be a good story |
Dragolight chapter 1 . 8/24/2013 Keep going but please don't do this! Please don't turn into a damn cliffhanger jackass author because everybody hates those. |
Rboooks chapter 1 . 8/24/2013 This,is your first fic?! Its so well written im in envy of your skills! I hope yuo update soon. I love time fics and yours sound awesome XD I cant wait for everyone to see the greatness that is a FOCUSED Naruto! You gain a real fan! This is going on my favorite list! |
Itachi mr yolk chapter 1 . 8/24/2013 Good Theory lets see how you develope this Waiting for an update |
Lawrensu chapter 1 . 8/24/2013 moar moar moar! |
Mythrrinthael chapter 1 . 8/24/2013 First of all, congratulations on starting your first story. It's always a bumpy ride. So buckle up for your first review, because your story is no exception. I'm going to start with facts and such, then work my way to more subjective areas. I won't be pointing out minor typo errors unrelated to Japanese terminology, even though you do have them ("this chakra cloud would become as even greater asset" as opposed to "-an- even greater asset" is one example) and I recommend taking some off-time between finishing a chapter and proofreading it so you can be more alert to spelling errors and typos. And here we go. "...chakra being the combination of physical, mental and spiritual energy...". Chakra is just physical and mental energy. There is a wiki you can consult on all things Naruto. wiki/Narutopedia "...Jinchiriki..." Now, while there may be discussion about which spelling is correct, I can assure you this is *not* correct. 'jinchūriki'/'jinchuuriki' is what you're looking for. "Unfortunately for Naruto his body was always a step behind his spiritual power as you would expect if you had a toddler with the power of a chunin." Once again, the trip-up with spiritual/mental. Naruto's own chakra weighs heavily toward yang, the physical energy. There's also a minor thing about the spelling of "chunin" but it borders quite closely on pedantry and it's hard enough for me not to be needlessly pedantic as it is. At this point, I would recommend contextually replacing "spiritual" with "mental" or removing "spiritual" where it simply doesn't apply. "Iruka-Sensei" Minor point: Japanese suffixes are never capitalized. Except, of course, when referring to a specific person. "...large chakra capacity (...) accelerates healing exponentially..." It does not. A combination of Uzumaki longevity and a case of 'ye olde that-daemon-in-thine-gut-doth-values-its-life-so-d early' is the cause of Naruto's accelerated healing. "This excess chakra manifested in hyperactive behaviour and an overloaded thinking process" I'd like to remind you that Naruto has a supernaturally-induced variant of ADD. He has difficulty concentrating on single, mental tasks because of all that (yang)-chakra. Note that, while Naruto is impatient and easily distracted, he is also determined and that is how, in practice, he made up for lack of focus. "...kenetic learner..." I promised to lay off the English spelling, but come on now. A spellchecker ought to have noticed that. Minor point: you use "byproduct" to refer to different instances of side-effects, twice in quick succession. This isn't technically wrong but it looks off. "...obsorb..." Bit sloppy. Again, spellchecker. Additionally, I don't know if you've visited your own chapter page, but some parts of the text end up looking like blocks. Even though it is my mere opinion, I recommend putting some space in the paragraphs regarding Naruto's upbringing and learning the shadow clone jutsu/training with Jiraiya. Lastly, I'd like to remind you that all-in-all, this is not a bad start. The subject isn't new (but then again, what is?) and I'm looking forward to seeing more and hopefully seeing your writing improve. |