Sensational angst! Very emotionally stirring! Obi-Wan was very dignified and Qui-Gon was such a colossal jerk! Painfully memorable scene between the pair.

This is good, but sad. I cried with Obi-Wan and Qui-Jon. Please fix their relationship!

This is great! It made me cry like a baby. (And I DO love good cry.) )

Qui-Gon really gets me angry, but I hope that he'll realise that he is doing a big mistake.

Please, continue! )

oh my god i hate Qui Gon!he is such a total bastard!poor obi!don't worry honey, i still love u!i really love this story but always in stories like these obi wan ends up forgiving him but i don't think he should after what he said, its ur story but i really don't think Qui deserves forgiveness this time.I will definetely be waiting for the next chapter so update off to console my poor obi...

Oh my god! Oh my god!

You know, An Untimely Frost is one of my favorite stories, it made me cry, laugh, it made me sad, angry and happy. And so does your story too,

Oh man I could kick Qui-Gon's ass right now, oh and Ani! man that I hate that little *******, please kill him, please?::evil grin::

Anyhoo poor Obi, I hope that he can show some day to Qui-Gon that he can go on without him.

I love your story!

Please update soon!

Very interesting AU for TPM. I love it so far. Can't wait to see where you go from here.

LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT

WRITEMOREWRITEMORE!

*ahem* errr . . . *gains control of self*

Great story, great premise. And I'm familiar with CYNICAL21 story - I think I'm on Chapter 20 something. ;)

Anyway! Your writing is good and I liked the whole Council scene and how you did it. Qui-Gon leaving the Order and refusing the Council's orders was very realistic and plausible.

And since FF.N is telling me to critique, I will. :) I don't have much to say except for two things: shorter paragraphs. You have paragraphs where it really needs to be split into several - it makes it easier to read. :) Number two (personal preference here) is more descriptions of their expressions. :)

All done.

Oh my, is my critique longer than saying I love it and want to read more? :O Well, I could go on about that but I'll leave it at this: WRITE MORE!

Master Block Head strikes again!Write more soon!;D

Another awesome chapter Mel :)

"My mistake it was thinking worthy of him you must be, now see it clearly I do. Worthy of you he is not. A Jedi you will be I promise.'

Nice line! Thank goodness for Yoda, and a very clever way to have him take over Obi-Wan's training. Nice reference to the to events in AUF also.

You've got me wondering now though :) So Yoda and Obi-Wan are the ones going back to Naboo, right? I'm very curious to see how things with the sith are going to now turn out. Will they still meet? Will we get a peek at Yoda's saber skills like we did in AOTC? :)

Doing a great job, you are. You've had something dramatic in each post so far-that will definately keep your readers coming back. I agree with whoever it was that said you are doing a good job with keeping everyone in character. That is so important.

I only have one, tiny, eensy, weensy suggestion:) Could you break the paragraphs up just a bit in your next post? It just makes it much easier to read. Thanks. Can't wait for more!

-Shan

Good, very good. Mean Qui-Gon! *pops Qui-Gon on the head* Poor Obi-WAn! Write more soon!

Talk about the angst and drama! WoW! I hope that you update soon _

I cant wait to read when Qui(that man is so...If he would be here now I would hit him!)

finds out that Yoda trains Obi ::evil grin::

Hey!

Wow. The quality in the writing here... Amazing!

And the idea behind the plot, Qui Gon's (in my opinion) Betrayal of Obi Wan, is also very good. I've never seen an A/U like it.

You did a very good job of keeping everyone in character as well. It seems like alot of fanfiction writers have trouble with that, but you've seemed to take it in stride. ;-)

The only thing I can see that could be improved on is possibly the thoughts... in some places they didn't seem to fit correctly. The general idea behind the thought yes, but not the wording.

Looks like you've put in alot of hard work on this, please keep writing!

Erra from Padawan Rejects

Wonderful start! You are making it good. I'll be waiting to see where this is going :)

Okay, decided not to be lazy and sign in to review :)

Great start here, Mel. Starting right out with some wonderful Obi angst. Love that you are showing us Qui's feelings and thoughts here, makes what he's doing much easier to swallow.

Qui resigning was quite a shock, can't wait to see what happens next. Will we get to see this year, or will we skip ahead and see it in flashbacks? Either way, i'm looking forward to it!

-Shan