Reviews for Pokemon: The Adventures in the US League
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 45 . 4/11
Alright, me vs the Champ, gym leader Zoe as referee, lets see what happens.

Gallade vs Aegislash. Hitting King's Sheild right off the bat is never a good thing. I probably would have switched after Aegislash used Autonomize, especially with the Ghost type disadvantage, and definitely would've switched after the Iron Defense to use someone with a special type move set like Salamence or Blaziken.

Well, those Ghost type moves were enough to finish Gallade. He fought valiently, enough for Salamence to finish the job quickly. Not bad.

Salamence vs Flygon
It's true, I have faced (and defeated) Flygon, not to mention Salamence has few equals in aerial combat.

Okay, that Flamethrower vs Dragonbeath standoff was okay, but when you put "Minutes later, Flygon stopped his attack too", that doesn't seem odd to you? Seconds, maybe, especially since a few seconds can turn the tide of any battle, but minutes is waaaaaaay too long. It's something that I've been hoping you'd notice on your own, but a few chapters later and no change, I have to bring it up.

Jeez, Salamence is agile enough to dodge a Dragon Pulse, especially one that's been slowed down by a Flamethrower. Good finish with Draco Meteor, I guess. Still kind of irritated that I didn't have Salamence dodge.

Lucario vs Staraptor
Andrew seems to be playing the type matchups. However, Lucario seems to be outwitting the bird at Close Combat. Ha! I'm the master at CC! Lol, there's always someone better, but I've made sure I'm among the best!

Oof, Final Gambit, that'll leave a mark. Hmm, if Lucario is down on a knee, I'd probably switch out. Well, looks like that ain't happening, despite the type disadvantage again.

Yowch, Flamethower a direct hit! Hypermode? It's close to that point, I'd think. Looking on, guess not yet, but if Lucario survives another hit, probably.

Well, that thought was crushed quickly. Halftime!

Another type disadvantage. Yeesh. Sceptile vs Glaceon. Whoa, speed disadvantage too?! But Sceptile is my fastest! Well, I am battling the Champ, but that doesn't mean I can't train harder!

I don't know if I explained this adequately, but I do have names for my Close Combat Combos, Iron Blade for Sceptile, Blaze Uppercut for Blaziken, and so on. But Blizzard, Hail, and Sheer Cold, that's just too much. Can Glaceon even learn Sheer Cold? Meh, too late now, I guess.

Okay, I know I said Swampert has a Close Combat Combo and that I prefer Close Combat to long range, but jeez, even I would try some long range attacks rather than chase shadows with Swampert. She's not the fastest Pokémon around and if Sceptile couldn't keep up with Glaceon, why would I use a slower Pokémon and try the same strategy? I can use Mud Shot as an attack too!

Using Blizzard as a feint? Well played. Game, set, match.

Argh! Another type disadvantage! I know Blaziken can pull this off against another Swampert, but with Glaceon, Flygon, and another mystery, the odds of winning are official none, maybe 1% if there's a Mega Evolution, which I doubt, lol

Was that a Solar Flare you had me try? Protect may block damage, but I have yet to see it block light, if that was indeed a Solar Flare. I will call out Solar Flare instead of Solarbeam.

Oof, Aqua Ring, not good. I'd have hoped to score a critical with the number of Shadow Claws landing, guess Lady Luck ain't on my side. Especially after that Hydro Cannon hit. Damn. 6-2 final score. Ouch. Pity, my ace had never failed to take out at least one Pokémon in a battle. Double ouch. That'll wound Blaziken's pride. Still, a loss can teach you much more about yourself than any number of wins. I see Andrew alluded to that with his mysterious comment.

Yeah, I know I'm a bit weak in the long range area. Doesn't mean I wouldn't have tried a long range style if Close Combat fails. Oh well, you'll see a much better battle next time, I guarentee that!

Good battle overall, but it needed a few more details. When you have a chapter devoted to one battle, even a full six on six, you can't be shy in adding details. You've improved, no doubt about it, but like me, like everyone else in fact, there's always room for improvement. Keep up the good work!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 44 . 3/25
Like I promised, I'm reviewing quicker this time, lol.

Another radio interview. Hmm. Andrew thinks Cat's gonna win it. That's reassuring coming from the Champion himself. Maybe it's because of Cat's battling style. She and Haley seem similar that way. If they meet in the final, I'm sure it'll be epic!

Ally is an underdog, but as we've seen during this years March Madness, underdogs can surprise you. No doubt Jenna and Haley are fierce competition as well. We'll see

Lol, coffee. I'm more of a tea drinker myself, though I will take a 5hour energy in an emergency. So Ash IS the champion. Took him long enough, lol. Glad the scientists are safe, now to she'd some light on this weather mystery.

Nice history between Andrew and Haley, both realizing their dreams. A tad cliche, perhaps, but it explains a lot mentioned in previous chapters.

On to the Contest!

Crowd reaction is expected, Andrew's comments are spot on, though apparently I'm "the guy", lol. Couldn't you have described me a little, orange Orioles T-shirt, black cargo pants, O's cap, average height and build, with curly brown hair. Okay, maybe not that much details, but to someone who doesn't remember my OC, they'd have no clue what I look like.

Ninetales vs Girafarig. No type advantage I can see there.

Owch, Thunder Wave. I hate that move...

Oh, so Andrew can see the future now? :P

Rain Dance AND Thunder?! Plus Mirror Coat, Psybeam, and Stomp? And Psychic? Six moves! Oh dang! I'm gonna submit six move for each in a PM then! Talk about a disadvantage!

That's actually a decent explanation for Psychic-redirected attacks.

Damn, Cat lost an exciting battle. No regrets though, I'm sure both of them have it their all. She'll bounce back. Still, what a battle!

So, the other semifinal. Politoad vs Houndoom. Game, set, match. Ally's already an underdog, but to have a type disadvantage too? Ouch. This isn't gonna be a long battle.

I was right, five moves in and the battle's over. Nice words of encouragement from Haley, hope Ally bounces back quickly. On to the final!

Well that didn't last f $&ing long. 4x fighting type advantage screwed Weavile from the beginning. Haley wins easily.

Whoa whoa whoa, I met the guy at the triathlon! I wouldn't forget the Champ that quickly! Woo, boy, this is gonna be tense. I'll PM you later with my battle strategies.

I'm battling the Champ in a full battle. That was kinda unexpected, but I look forward to it. Nice job!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 43 . 3/23
Yowsers, that Jolteon ain't messin around! It helps that it was going against a Water type, but yeesh, that was almost as quick as that OHKO round Cat had in the last contest!

Oh boy, DDs. That Flygon is fast, to travel from Germany to TN in 5 or so hours. That, and Andrew seems to have a history with that red-head. Hmmmm.

I dare say after a terrorist attack like that, that the Contest should have been postponed a day, even with the Champion in the house. After all, he couldn't stop the bad guys from getting away. Oh well, I suppose DD aren't exactly run of the mill terrorists either. Hmm.

Once again, type advantages win the day. Both Rock vs Fire and Ice vs Flying. Nice try by Jake, but Cat's just got too much experience for him, it seems. Hopefully she can get revenge on Jenna for the last contest, but we'll hafta see. Can Ally pull off the upset? I doubt it, but you never know.

Until next time, my friend, I promise not to take so long on reviewing

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 41 . 3/23
I'm so sorry I haven't posted, I always tell myself I'll do it later, but I forget. Anyways, on with the review. I got three chapters to cover.
41: Japan is under a deluge of water. Huh. My thoughts, like the Champ, is that it's Kyorge. It could be Lugia, Gary's theory isn't that far-fetched (ha!). I hope that ship gets through the storm safely. I've been on a cruise ship during a tropical storm (in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, no less), it was not fun that night.

So, is Japan's Champion Ash? You've left it up in the air, it's either him or that other dude's OC

Electromagnetism caused the power outage. Hmmm, Deoxys? Zapdos? Zekrom? A horde of Magnezone? We'll hafta see.

So the Relationship between the Champion and a relatively new trainer has blossomed to the point where Andrew keeps Katie updated. He must really care.

Pokeshipping. Meh, it's not my favorite shipping (it ranks #2, behind May, but in front of the rapidly climbing Serena). I suppose it'll do nicely for this story.

On to the next chapter!

42: Contest time! So here's the previous GF winner, with a Jolteon and a Mandibuzz. Hmm, Cat's got another rival, lol.

Onto the appeals: how is it that a Wooper blowing mud bubbles scores higher than a Skarmory who's appeal seemed much more exciting and creative, according to Vance? He's weird, I guess. Speaking of weird, how does an Ice Shard melt that quickly? Ice takes plenty of time to melt, unless that appeal took several minutes, I fail to see how leaving a puddle of water long after the appeal ends would cost points, as a simple Flamethrower from a Charmander could take care of the puddle.

Ally's appeal was good, but I'd never heard of Gyro Ball being a projectile. Huh. That's odd. Good appeal, but I'm a bit hesitant on the execution.

Poor Gabby, need more details on Tanner's appeal, as I don't get how that Growlithe was weaving the flames into the infinity symbol, on to the big dogs.

Perfect score from Haley, and I can see why. That Mismagius is gonna be tough to beat. But then again, it's why Cat pulled out the Grass Legend appeal. I dare say she's through to the next round, lol

Poor Jake indeed, two perfect appeals to follow, not a bad appeal, he's just SOL. He made it through though, so all wasn't lost.

That's right, Jenna is from TN, so the crowd's gonna be on her side. Nice appeal overall.

Yeah, messing up on the big stage is not going to help one's confidence. But then again, life to the top is never easy. Maybe Cat can stop by and share a similar experience to help Gabby get back on track.

Oof, Jake barely slips through to the 2nd round and ends up facing Cat. This just wasn't his contest. Nice battle from Ally, on to the next chapter. I'll post this review and move on to 43
ajkent14z chapter 41 . 2/11
Torrential rain.. I'd like the idea of Kyogre having a hand in this.. As for the light show, I'm having a feeling that Zekrom is behind that..
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 40 . 2/1
The fact that everything is reset to 4:30 on February 20th just screams the idea that something big is going to happen. The fact that these lights seem to emit an electromagnetic pulse that caused the power outage makes Deoxys being the culprit seem even more plausible now. Hmmmmmm, I am most curious as to what happens then. The lights flow east to west. Hmm, I'm not sure how to decipher that clue of yours. Well played good sir, well played.

Ah, the master professor himself is getting involved. This is more serious than it appears. I hope you decide to send Gary, as Tracey just helps around the ranch, more or less, he's an artist, not a scientist. Gary's just awesome.

Dawwww, cute moment between Andrew and Katie, how sweet! But now that I think about it, that Flygon is FAST! Then again, it's a pokemon the champion uses, so it's going to be a cut or three above the rest. Meh, no faults there.

"Katie awakes to Emma waking her up." That sentence doesn't sound redundant to you? Try something like "Katie was awakened by Emma shaking her gently." Or something similar, try to avoid redundancies like what you have.

That is a good point, why didn't Katie wake them up. I never thought about that. Maybe she was being kind and letting them sleep. Meh, I'm sure she has her reasons. Question: asides from being an expensive gift from Andrew, is there another role for that Adamant necklace besides decoration?

On to the battles. Katie vs Zoe.
So the steam that covered the arena during Larvesta vs Poliwhirl seemed rather pointless. Was it supposed to act like a fog or did it simply dissipate too quickly to alter the flow of the battle?

Doesn't Vulpix have the Flash Fire ability, which boosts the power of Fire-type moves when hit with a Fire-type move? I can't remember the other abilities Vulpix can have, but I'm certain Flash Fire is the most common among Vulpix. Huh.

Jeez, Zoe fell for the same trick twice. Didn't think that could happen with a Gym Leader (not gum, lol at my typo in the previous review). And Zoe just got stomped by a fire fox and a tadpole. Yowsers. Katie's really trained hard. I guess she's a natural. Meh. Take care that she doesn't become a Mary Sue type character (annoyingly perfect).

Now it's Emma vs Zoe. And a disobedient Ducklett. That's an unexpected development. Emma got lucky that she won that round. Still, when a String Shot hits, it can be devastating to a Flying type, if you're shooting for anime style battles. If its game style, it's fine how you wrote it, but in the anime, String Shot is usually enough to ground a Flying-type temporarily.

Jiminy Crickets! It seems like every single Fire-type move used has caused a burn. Or maybe those are just scorch marks and I'm overreacting. Meh. You'd think as a Gym leader, Zoe'd have a counter to a Fire-type, which is a common weakness for Bugs. Even a Surskit would do nicely here! The battles were fine overall, nothing too far-fetched (ha, Flying type pun, I crack myself up). Good job.

So the shiny Pokémon takes a liking to Emma and Zoe just gives it away. I'll concede the point that it's not a strong battler (yet), and that Zoe can't train it in a way that's best for the Venomoth (even though she's a Bug-type trainer), but I'm jealous. I still haven't encountered a shiny pokemon, and I've been playing for over a decade! Bleah. :P :P :P
I suppose I'm lucky enough to have the team that I have supporting me. No shiny pokemon could ever replace my Blaziken.

More time. Don't we all wish for more hours in a day to do something? I know I do, 17 credits plus part time jobs equals very little free time for this Nutty Buddy. Makes me wonder if I'll ever get my battle story done. Just gotta keep pluggin away at it, I guess, and keep the focus on the story. Well, that's it for me, I look forward to the next chapter!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 39 . 1/29
Jeez, I've been meaning to get to this, but college is getting into full swing and I've got 17 credits, not to mention my jobs. So, on with the review!

Murkrow's peck began to glow or Murkrow's beak? Nice way to use Fly, but what is up with this little excerpt?
"Interesting way to avoid and attack flying high into the air. Since the attack will power as it goes higher."said Zoe.
That second sentence makes little to no sense! What are you trying to say?
Is Zoe inexperienced? Because I would think that as a Gum Leader, she should know that Psychic type moves don't work on Dark types. That, your wording when she comments on Prinplup seems weird as well.

Nice turnaround with Bide, I personally hate that move simply because it always seems to backfire on me, but I'm sure Brady can use it well.

I know you're getting creative with the Stealth Rock, but shouldn't it have activated as soon as Nuzleaf came out? It worked like that in the anime, with Paul vs Roark. I applaud the creativity, but it still kinda irked me to read it. I wouldn't use that idea again.

When people shake their head, it usually means no, so when I saw Nuzleaf shake its head, but Brady stuck with him anyways, I was appalled he would do something like that, then I realized you probably meant for Nuzleaf to nod his head yes. Grammatical Errors can kill a story, make sure to proofread your work before posting.

Why did Nature Power fail? That made no sense whatsoever.

There's no need to be redundant with your words (He was not able to dodge or get out of the way). Use that space for details!

Stealth Rock hits everything, even birds. They're devastating for flying types. Perk up my friend!

Nice battle overall, work on that grammar, add a few more details, and you'll be fine.

Is Claus there to warn or worn them? What does he look like? Details!

So lemme get this straight: the leader of the DD's decides to pick on some rookie trainers, the Champion of the Pokémon League decides to intervene when he's supposed to be in DC, a helicopter lands in the middle of the city (thats grtting ready for a big Pokemon Contest, no less) and whisks away the bad guy leader, all the while having conducted an act of terrorism in broad daylight. That's Pokelogic for ya!

Wait, team Plasma?! That was Team Galactic! I don't... What?! I'm confused...

I thought the sky was green and red in Chicago. Huh. The plot thickens. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say Deoxys, but I honestly have no clue what's causing the light show.

The chapter was good, but you should find someone to proofread your work, there were a lot of grammatical errors in this one. Perk up, ya knucklehead! Your Nutty Buddy expects better from ya! I'm here to help! You're getting better, compared to when I first started reviewing this, but much to learn, you still have. Buck up laddie and keep on chugging.

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
ajkent14z chapter 39 . 1/27
I was thinking it'd be much better if you can make the final Gym arc like this.. A nice plot, in my view..
DD tries revitalize Yveltal in Ontario, who take control of Aaron's mind and make him evil.. This is when the protagonists come for the Gym Battle and lose due to the increased Dark power.. Shortly afterwards, Andrew appears and with the help of the protagonists, stops Aaron from fully empowering Yveltal.. After he's cured, Aaron gives the Badge to the protagonists for risking their lives and save Ontario..
ajkent14z chapter 38 . 1/18
1. Your story's going great.. I feel it's a long way my OC would be introduced, being the final Gym Leader..
2. As for your question, it depends on how a leader thinks about his job.. Volkner was bored.. The Cerulean Sisters were bored as well.. And logically, sitting inside a facility all day long battling trainer after trainer is seriously boring.. That's why many Gym Leaders choose to roam around while maintaining their title, Fantina and Giovanni for example.. Hope you got your answer..
3. Please update faster.. Waiting is the worst part..
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 38 . 1/18
8:30 am? Don't make me laugh. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man both wealthy and wise. I credit that quote to good ole Ben Franklin.

A distortion world scientist? Convenient. Any connections to the Giratina movie? Like I said earlier, I'm a Hoenn region expert, so I can't really offer much else on Sinnoh legends.

So does that mean Mr Hopkins helped the legendary Professor Oak? What with the completion of the Pokedex, it stands to reason that Oak was involved somehow.

Cute little party, couldn't remember who Ally was without looking back, you may want to put a reminder of who a character is if they're gonna be absent from the story for an exterded period of time.

Katie's a hugger, lol, nothing wrong with that. It just reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. Sigh... Oh well, I'm over that.

Emily? Hmmm, I wonder...

Special ribbon? From a contest? Don't they need the ribbons to compete in the Grand Festival? Or is this something completely different? Details, laddie, backstories, information!

Do I see a wardrobe change in the near future for Katie?

An Adamant NECKLACE? Holy $& #, those things are expensive! Do you know how rare adamant shards are?! That's settles my question from the last chapter, Andrew is inL-O-V-E LOVE!

So wait, the man is on the lake or in front of the lake? Is he a reincarnation of N? What was he wearing, what did he look like, details details details!

And Andrew's gone again. Off to Nashville. Wait, where is Elizabethtown? It ain't on my globe, where the heck is it?!

Yeesh, Katie can't go a day without being hassled by someone about her gift. Such is the life of the crush of the Champion

Wait, Zoe's a piece of wood? Ohhhhh, she's bored, not board. She didn't strike me as broad either. Well, I hope she's entertained enough with the battles.

I'm cool with the contests being more of a side-note, just to keep better track of which OC wins why.

I don't see how you could become bored as a Gym Leader, battling Trainers day in and day out, meeting new challengers, seeing new strategies. In my spare time I'd be training my pokemon like crazy, to be the very best I could be. Then again, I'd have to use other Pokémon too, so not to simply beat up on newer Trainers, and I hate losing. If I can't be Champion, I'd settle for Elite Four status, because there's always someone better, but I don't think I'm ready for Gym Leader status just yet. Sure, I got the power and the moves, but I'm not quite ready for the responsibility yet.

That's my 2 cents on it, keep up the good work!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 37 . 1/14
My friend, I wish to apologize for the delay in my review. I have been kept super busy with Christmas and New Years and needing a second job thanks to Obamacare (I lost my first job due thanks to that law, so now I have two part time jobs just to make ends meet), I haven't had any time to review. So, all things aside, let's see what you've done:

A fair match is the champion and a Trainer with two badges vs a couple of punks with a few more badges (I'm guessing here)? I suppose he's putting a bully in his place, and I'm all for putting bullies in their place (I still have a piece of graphite stuck in my left thigh from where a bully stabbed me with a pencil. I have no sympathy for any bully), but as a Trainer, that hardly seems fair. That's just my 2 about his comment.

One thing that irks me slightly about the first round was the overuse of the word "the". The Monferno began rolling. The confusion stopped the Monferno. The Monferno wasn't moving. You see where I'm going with that? It got better in the middle, then you slipped back into the the the the again (the Espeon, the Magmar). The battle was well laid out, no complains about that. The way you delivered it was decent enough for a story like yours, just try to work on reducing the amount of "the"s you use.

Round two, the shield and sword pokemon! Not a bad description, but perhaps you should have mentioned that the arms are ribbon-like, otherwise people who haven't played X or Y might think of a knight like pokemon carrying a sword and shield (ie yours truly, ehe) Bulbapedia is again a good site to use for descriptions.

I don't see what's wrong with the Pokedex description. You'd get more data if you'd press more buttons on the Dex. Andrew explained everything the Pokedex would if Katie had time to explore it deeper.

King's Shield reduces Attack, not Speed. Just because Machoke lost Attack power shouldn't mean he isn't as fast as before, it just means his attacks will be less effective.

Overall a decent battle, but watch the "the"s. same with round 3. You did good.

Andrew and Kaaaatie, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Haha, I'm just messing with ya. I couldn't care less about love interests in this story, so long as it doesn't feel rushed or dominates the story. I can't tell if Andrew truly returns the feelings or not, but flying her parents in for her birthday tells me Andrew feels SOMETHING!

Great job with the Butterfree festival! You did a great job with the scene. A few more details to aid the mental imagery would have made it perfect. Well done!

I appreciate the shout out, I'm always happy to help. Merry belated Christmas and a Happy belated New Year my friend!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 36 . 12/8/2013
I like the setup with the Festival, maybe you could add a tribute to Ash's Butterfree? I'm intrigued. Haven't been to Indiana since I was 2, but it sounds nice.

I'm fine with them using the Pokedex's data, but did she have to be so specific for her list? Maybe it's just me, but the way she said it really puffled my jigglies (haha, I'm on fire with Pokepuns this week). Couldn't she have said there were plenty of flying types and a few bug types? Meh, that's a minor detail, don't worry about it too much.

On to the battle. Not bad, a couple of typos, which are forgivable. I feel that you're using too many words to describe too little. I would suggest something along the line of "Vulpix opened her mouth and exhaled a stream of fire, burning through the Bullet Seed and doing massive damage to Nuzleaf".

Prinplup vs Eevee was decent, but again, too many words, not enough substance. I would have said something like;
"'Eevee, use Shadow Ball!' Katie yelled.
Eevee popped out of the ground with another purple ball of shadow energy and hit Prinplup from behind, knocking the Penguin Pokémon onto his belly."
I didn't think Prinplup could learn Water Gun. Were you aiming for Bubblebeam instead?

The airborne battle was good, just a couple of typos. Fix those and you're good to go.

Glaceon vs Espeon was also well done. That Hail-Blizzard combo is always devastating.

I would have thought that Butterfree would prefer to be on land, near flowers, as compared to landing on a lake surface, which for most butterflies is rather unpleasant. I know it's mating season, but still, I don't get it.

So Katie seems to be shaping up as the main heroine of this, what with being bonded with Azelf, winning the triathlon in Chicago, and so on. Cool.

Why is Brady doubting himself? So what if there are stronger people out there, there's ALWAYS someone better. He's only got, what, 2, 3 badges? He's a long way from reaching his potential. No need to be doubting himself early in his young career.

Good chapter, I look forward to seeing how this progresses.

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 34 . 11/14/2013
Excellent chapter, my friend. I fail to see what could possibly be offensive to anyone and there were enough details to help paint a mental picture in my head of what was going on. A definite improvement from before. A few grammatical slipups here and there was all I could find wrong with the chapter (sound boom? Do you mean "the sound of another explosion" or a "sonic soom"?)

The plot thickens. That's all I have to say about the story. Keep up the good work!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 8 . 11/11/2013
I hate my iPhone sometimes. Accidentally posted review before I was ready. Now, as I was saying about chapter 33;

The white jacket makes me think of Jasmine from the Johto region. Were you going for that look? If not, remember to add details next time.

The battles started out fine, the first few lines were okay, then you slipped back into your old, non descriptive style. Keep describing the attacks as they go along. Does Nuzleaf glow as it charges the solarbeam? Did Murkrow's wing glow with the essence of the Wing Attack? It got better with Tauros vs Timburr, especially with that little series at the end of that round, Blissey vs Timburr was decent ( what color was the Hyper Beam? Orange? Red?)

Blissey vs Murkrow was decent (did Murkrow flap it's wings to create the Gust attack?)

I suppose it's a trade secret how Leaders restore their Pokémon's health so fast, no complaints there

Vulpix vs Cinccino and Vulpix vs Tauros were sorely lacking in detail. Have you ever played a Pokémon game with the battle scenes turned off? Seems pretty bland, doesn't it?

Poliwag evolving was a good idea, but taking out both Tauros AND Herdier in one hit, even if that attack is Brick Break. Meh, I guess that post evolution rush was really strong for that Poliwhirl.

Servine vs Blissy needed more detail. It took a couple of seconds for me to realize that the Leaf Blade and Flamethrower had hit at the same time.

Combusken vs Blissey. Here's what rustled my jimmies: Brick Break shatters Reflect and Light Screen, not Protect. Protect only fails if used in succession. Other than that mistake, that round was fine.

Now as for the events in DC, well, it appears the DD's are on the move. Will the Champion thwart their attempt on the Orbs? I sure hope so.

Don't be discouraged, I'm here to help. You have a decent story, it just needs to be shorn up with details to boost it into the "great" category.

If you need me to do a battle, I could have a basic 3 on 3 battle done in a week, if you get me the pokemon and moves used by each trainer. No strings attached. I need the practice anyways. Keep up the good work!

From your Nutty Buddy,
The Eagle Nut
NuttyBuddy792 chapter 33 . 11/11/2013
Not bad, I apologize for the delay in reviewing. But I have a few questions.

Lilly. Is she young, old, experienced, a new gym leader? Blonde? Redhead? Tall? Short? Voluptuous? Slender? Details, laddie, they enable us to paint a mental picture in our heads. The white jacket makes me think
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