|Reviews for Names|
| America is Awesome chapter 3 . 10/24/2013
hahaha, this chapter is making me giggle and squeal like an idiot (while sitting in the library, heh). I'm going to keep reading now. (I never knew L was so sly).
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 10 . 10/2/2013
Aww, what a cute ending. I can just imagine Raito becoming bored with the job of being the police chief - too small for him now, I suppose.
[or at least as happily as the world's greatest detective and his genius (and often quite egotistical) husband could live, anyways.] - loved that part. :)
The happy heartwarming ending is a little cliched though, but a nice read throughout.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 8 . 9/9/2013
[ Raito recovered fully.] - I think this would have been more powerful as "Raito was recovering".
[L broke down, seeing the broken, bleeding form of Raito was too much.] - the first comma should be a semicolon.
And BB got into the prison; that's got to be an eye-opener for L. And the irony of being caught slipping out, but Watari's not a guy one should underestimate. I wonder where you plan to go from here, as it's still not labelled as complete. But an entertaining read...once I caught up. Sorry about that.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 6 . 9/9/2013
The time passing in this one is quite strong. I find it strange L isn't justifying keeping himself away from Light; it all amounts to Light being removed from his current state. Why can't L go and see him? I would expect that to be mentioned somewhere in his section, explore why, beyond locking him up, why he distanced himself as well.
The structure of XIII was a very interesting one; the short one-sentence paragraphs were very powerful, particularly in juxtaposition with the last, longer sentence.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 5 . 9/9/2013
Lol, the two lines of VIII had so much in them, it didn't matter that they were just two lines of dialogue!
Now IX sounds familiar, though I think "awful" is a case of telling as opposed to showing, and perhaps the wrong word to encapsulate it all in any case? I also think there"s a scene missing between VII and IX...or rather, between VI and X since VII doesn't require so strong a context. Beyond Birthday's mention was rather sudden; there must have been some sort of tip-off or leak. The emotions in this were heartwrenching though.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 4 . 9/9/2013
This moved a little faster than I expected it to, but I suppose as a dialogue study it really couldn't be helped. It's so adorable how Ryuuzaki dresses up just for Raito too, and how the ring he choses is "silver" and "simple". There must be a whole heap of hidden connotations in there.
I think VII needs a little more context though; how far away/after are we from the wedding? And have their consummated their marriage yet, or is this something just extra special? And Ryuuzaki was so forthcoming about his birthday date? No discussion there?
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 3 . 9/9/2013
Aww, cute. Ryuuzaki and Raito are debating with each other even when it's something as inconsequential as Raito blushing, and Ryuuzaki still manages to come out on top.
And those fangirls are creepy. Point blank. :)
| Glaistig chapter 7 . 9/2/2013
It's a rather intriguing story, but I don't understand why Beyond Birthday is after Raito.
| RiverGlow chapter 3 . 8/26/2013
:3 You're fangirls are my favourite OC's lol
(btw, that chapter was cute!) C:
| SoShi Love x3 chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
So, are the fangirls stalkers? What am I saying, of course they are. Haha xD
| Chellyisback chapter 3 . 8/26/2013
| Chellyisback chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
(KYAHHHH! xD) This is quite lovely I liked it very much and even more because Misa is not in it! Hehehe kidding! hope you keep writing!
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
Why does this have no reviews? The amount of good fics that slip under the radar... though maybe it's a little early to say. This is a very interesting read.
[His intelligence, his good looks, his tennis playing- but not his competitiveness. ] - very interesting. His competitiveness is what comes out so strongly in the Death Note anime, however its less appreciated that it was something he kept to himself before that. I assumed it was more because he lacked a good rival to compete with than an active attempt to keep it hidden, but in this AU you're building up this works equally well...with the added bonus of being an original idea. Out of curiosity though, what made you end that first line with a fullstop and not a colon, considering you're defining afterwards.
[if he was studying the brunette. ] - brunette is usually in reference to a girl/woman. "brunet" is the male counterpart...though I think that might be a bit unofficial.
[Ryuuzaki seemed unimpressed- ] - lol, Raito's ego took a subtle blow there. But you've used a hyphen instead of a dash.
[This was new; this was interesting, and Raito loved every second of it. ] - me too. :)
That second segment was very amusing; Raito and Ryuuzaki are very confident in their abilities to sit down for an exam they aren't mentally prepared for. There really isn't much more to be said - except that it as probably a blow for the pride of the institution, getting full marks on the entrance exam to such a prestigious place. The front that Raito and Ryuuzaki portray is just going to rile the proctor up even further. :)
I'm looking forward to what else you're going to write.