|Reviews for Perishment|
| renoa-hime chapter 1 . 12/3/2013
Oh my gosh. That was exhilarating. Fawk me.. Wow... Very well done with the imagination and wow... Speechless x
| gaara'sGurl101 chapter 1 . 11/15/2013
screams painful agony is my cup of tea, Can u please continue this story I like it alot
| Evan Pierce chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
This was an awesome story and its a really cool Halloween tale :D
((Trembles)) a little gory though for my tastes...
Keep up the great work!
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
I LOVE THIS! it's really good!
| doomedAquarius chapter 1 . 9/8/2013
Wow I always knew Sasori was twisted but his was a whole new level. This was amazing. Thank you for writing this amazing piece of art! Also i don't doubt that Sasori would do this , nor that he will return for Deidara. Again thank you: you're amazing.
| Deidara chapter 1 . 9/6/2013
You sick bat shit crazy son of a bitch jackass human, un! Your sick in the head!
| AkumaNoDanna chapter 1 . 8/29/2013
They weren't together in the end ;-; That's so sad. *wails*
But I believe Sassy will come back to him. Yep.
HE'D BETTER. UNLESS HE WANTS TO BE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE TO BE DROWNED AGAIN BY ME.
Anywho, I loooooveeed the story sooo much ! It was scary at some points xD Like seriously. Scary. A. F. I liked it :3
Sassy's jealousy was sooo adorable x3 in the yanno killer psycho possessive way. The best way :D
I had to read the last paragraphs over like three times till I got it ._. BUT I EVENTUALLY DID! You didn't make it particularly easy tho. Cud've at least mentioned that the 'he' you were talking about at the end wasn't the drowning blond anymore.
Anywho so Sasori's shadow was buried in the sand beneath the sea and by drowning Dei, the shadow was set free and Sassy got his physical body back and emerged from the sea alive and shit. Coolio x3
YANNO WHAT YOURE GONNA DO NOW SASSY? You go find a fucker to sacrifice and you'll get Dei back c:
I think this story is fine without a sequel. Like ofc sequels are always awesome, but you can't always make it so easy for the reader. They gotta use their own imagination, too. And the ending was perf - Sassy gave a promise. Now it's up to every individual to decide for themselves whether he'll keep it or not :3
MUST. NOT. CORRECT. GRAMMMAAAHHH
Okay actually there were only two things that caught my attention - first, the smaller one was that you'd confused you're and your. *shakes head in dissapointment* How could you...
The second was that YOU USED PRESENT TENSEEEEE.
You gotta make up your mind on whether the story is in the past or present tense. And once you've chosen one, YOU CANNOT USE THE SECOND ONE.
Like, say you chose past. Then everything that happens is written in. the. past. tense. The only exceptions are direct speech, and thoughts in case of first person, even though the thoughts can be written in past tense too unless they're in italic.
BUT YOU CANNOT WRITE ACTIONS IN PRESENT TENSE.
from your text: "The next day came slowly as usual. It's around 7:20 AM and kids are already filling the building. "
Notice sth wrong?
Anywho it's fine, since it's a common mistake. One that I make most often n.n;
Uhh i think there was something i forgot : hm...
OH OH OH OHHHH REMEMBERED.
"I know," he says, "it's just too much for me."
He says, "It's just too much for me. "
See the capital letter difference in the direct speech after 'he says'? Rememmmmber.
The more you know
Okay i think the english lesson is over now xD
You've NO IDEA how happy I was to read a story written by you again ;u; *happy Merlin* And it was so well done I COULD FEEEL the motivation behind it. That's coz the descriptions are always better with motivation n.n
So uhm this is prolly very long xD But I promised a long one, ne?
Kisses on lips and elsewhere
| Diamond Lotus-chan chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
Wow, please tell me there'll be a sequel.
Anyway, great story, really dramatic and... Well it might sound bad but I like this kind of story, where love's the motive
| ReEna-Kk chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
That was... Really good. o: A nice idea you had with this. But the ending... Uhm... Will be there a sequel maybe?
| CitrusFlag chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
holy shit... That was so beautiful, I loved it