Reviews for Harry Potter and the Congregation of the Asp
narenkavi chapter 1 . 7/25
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RonRR chapter 49 . 6/26
You have a contrafiction between the information here and the battles of the Big Bang chapters:

"Parkinson both parents officially neutral"

"...he recognized the two leader of the opponents' force to be Flint and Parkinson senior...he has chosen one side in the end – the wrong side...the man who had been carefully neutral so far..."

Pansy's father become a death eater and joined Voldemort, that means he is no longer officially neutral and should be in Azkaban assuming he survivied the battle (which he appears too do).

Thank you for writing,

Ron
Trahald of Uru chapter 37 . 6/26
I would not be surprised if Dumbledore is to blame for the loss of both of McGonagall's family members.
RonRR chapter 25 . 6/21
What special mean does December 6 have?

Thank you for writing,

Ron
RonRR chapter 16 . 6/21
Appently the magical world recolves in a different direction than the muggle.

You might want to rethink the desription:
"...large windows to the south and east, allowing the evening sun to bath the room in red light..."

Last tiime I checked the sun generally sets in the west not the east. :-)

Thank you for writing,

Ron
RonRR chapter 12 . 6/20
Being a teacher on the Express is to help prevent trouble, not simply sit in a compartment and glower at people. Apparently Snape cannot even perform this simple job properly. I guess that makes him the dunderhead.

Thank you for writing,

Ron
RonRR chapter 9 . 6/19
Minor error here:
"...it will be the same with Alicia next time...We both agreed that Alicia's sanity is more important than even that pain..."
This should be Alice Longbottom.

Thank you for writing,

Ron
Tsukikageshi chapter 48 . 6/18
Fantastic story telling. youve fewer flaws and gaps in understanding of what you use for content than most. i personally wouldnt have used the catholic church but you pull it off very well.
Tsukikageshi chapter 33 . 6/16
a correction. you mention sirius "slowly showing signs of claustraphobia" in regards to being cooped up. Its "cabin fever" or "going stir crazy" as some people put it but not claustraphobia-fear of small spaces. Now a situation with an example or claustraphobia would be locking him in a tiny closet and him freaking out or an mri machine... when they SAY small spaces they mean SMALL spaces. like a closet, a coffin, an mri machine, or in extreme cases a room or bus packed like sardines. Being cooped up like youve described is cabin fever often refered to as "stir crazy" and has nothing to do with how big or small such is. indeed an abbey like that would be quite large. And to be fair some things are too confined even for ppl who arent claustraphobic. its common with mri machines for instance for even non claustraphobic people to have trouble and not uncommon for lots of people to need anti anxiety medication to not panic so... maybe they are just more sensitive to something instinctive? dunno. just being stir crazy isnt claustraphobia. just thought youd like to know.
Tsukikageshi chapter 18 . 6/14
probably a little late but your character development is fantastic and anyone who complains harry isnt "important enough" is an idiot. you made him powerful but also kept it believable. they want a more harry centered story more that even jk rowling wrote originally and it seems they also likely want a "godpower" sort of harry as well. where all conflict is magically resolved "because harry" therin making everyone else irrelivent. Its a style that often makes me cringe. In your story hes both a main character and still central and more powerful than his peers but hes not everything. He has strengths and weaknesses. there is conflict and other things going on as well, which adds dimension to a story and makes it even more interesting. Hes already quite a bit more powerful "than usual" etcetcetc. Any idiot who complains Daphne is somehow more powerful hasnt really been paying attention. Besides. They have different strengths and weaknesses. Its like comparring a soldier and a doctor. I like daphne. i like harry. i like your stories in this series so far. Dont listen to idiots please.
PurplePhoenix89 chapter 9 . 6/4
i woukd just like to point out that Nevilles mum is named Alice not Alicia...
Guest chapter 48 . 6/1
good thing the potters will call upon the horcruxes including dumbledore's and destory them in front of the 2 cowards
Kagugu chapter 50 . 5/9
thank you for your hard work
Agentegs005 chapter 2 . 4/24
Okay i love how you put that Spain is more advanced but... (i will use their names in spanish) saying that Felipe el Hermoso loved Juana la Loca when he made a pact with Fernando Católico, when Isabela Católica died,to rule Castilla and Fernando Aragón and making the the legitime ruler, Juana la Loca, like a crazy girl that can't rule when she had perfect health, is blending the history too much.
Korelion chapter 8 . 4/12
I'm sorry. Really. I don't like what I'll do, but still.
I stop reading this. Now. I could have stopped, and say nothing, but you had quite great and pretty original ideas (mixing Catholic church, Spanish inquisition, Wizards... That could be great !)

But, here we are. This chapter is the best exemple of what's wrong in this story.

Ok, so, Harry fears that Ginny could have dreams. Dreams ? Yes, you know, the dreams Harry is making since before third task, that you have never heard before now...

That's the point. You seems to make the dreams important. I don't know why and I would not know since I stop reading, but still. Harry is good enough with occlumency so that the Pinegrew told him about all their secrets, yet, the dreams are still here.
So, they're important.
But, if they're so important, why did I learn of them just right now ?
Idem for the bishop. You could have told us in real time the meeting. After all, the bishop could have been a bad guy, could have wanted revenge for the leaving of Ana of his guard.
With the Guardia being around, with gun, maybe the bishop could have tried something against Harry.
But, before you tell us of the meeting with the bishop, we know that it have been a good meeting. No stress, no suspens, no way to be afraid for Harry and co.

And those mistakes are not the first ones you did in your story (the thing about Ana linking Daphne's to Harry's mind, for example. We know it have been made, we know it wai in no way dangerous, because the moment we learned about this, you've just said few lines before that Daphne was OK, and Harry so.

I'm really sorry. As I've said, I could have just walked away your story, and never leave such a bad comment. But I find that you wasted great ideas. I hope you won't take my comment as an asking to stop writting, but instead, as a call for continue writing, but with better preparation of your sroty and better story-telling

PS : I'm french, and if I'm pretty good at reading, I still suck at writing and saying in english, so, as we say, excuse my english
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