|Reviews for Quiet Evenings at Home|
| Xortberg chapter 1 . 10/25/2013
When it comes to fanfiction, stuff like this that are nothing but shorts for the sake of character interaction are some of my favorite things. They can never tell an ambitious, gripping story like a longer, plot-focused fic, but they also rarely risk stepping on the toes of the established characters' personalities or the events of the canon, and also don't require as much investment on my part as the reader. I can just sit down and read one whenever, really, and that's very nice. So, obviously, I really dig this idea of yours and hope to see more of it in the (preferable near) future. The fact that it was written pretty well doesn't hurt, either. No glaring grammatical mistakes, consistent verb tense and POV, no lazy typos, formatted well; all around solid in a technical sense.
That said, nobody's perfect, and I do have some critiques for you as well as my rambling praise:
My main beef is (somewhat hypocritically given my above statement where I said I liked being able to not have to invest myself too much) in the length length. I like short stories, but 230 words isn't a story really. It's just a scene. This particular chapter could have easily doubled or possibly even tripled in length if you'd explored some of Shiki's inner monologues, arguing with himself about whether or not to worry Akiha with his troubles or just brush her off, and just exploring the emotions involved with the characters in general. It seems you went with third person limited POV, so we only get to see inside Shiki's head, which means you could have added more as he tried to figure out what Akiha was thinking and how she would react to what he told her. I just feel like this could have been at the very least 1000 words if you wanted it to be, and that lack of length means this story lacks any real substance. Like I said, nothing wrong with short stories - I even prefer them myself - but I also feel like it's possible to go too far in the other direction and make your story a little -too- short.
So, all in all, I'm glad I went hunting for some Nasuverse fics, because this was a nice little read and, looking at your profile, it seems you've written quite a few stories for my favorite universe that I'll enjoy looking through. Hopefully this ends up getting more chapters, because I love the Tsukihime characters and I'd like to see more simple interactions between them, but I also do hope the chapters get a bit longer and more descriptive :)
| Lunar Adept chapter 1 . 8/29/2013
Welcome to the club. By chance, did you start with the visual novel, or the Anime/Manga?
| Tikigod784 chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
If you adore it, does that mean you're going to write more tsukihime stories? Hell yeah!