|Reviews for Not Belonging to Earth|
| yo chapter 1 . 4/8/2015
Well I thought the story would be plain but it's actually interesting owo3
Kinda hoped it would be romance tho(cos I'm such a rotten girl) where hiyoshi fell in love with niou (that he though is atb), but niou n atb never told him the truth
Btw I really like that part where hiyoshi is holding the alien and niou is playing the soloban lol
But the conclusion is kinda confusing to me?somewhere in the story I believe niou is also surprised by the alien, right? So he mimicked the alien just for fun?
| XShay-SamaX chapter 1 . 12/16/2014
This was boatloads of fun to read. Perhaps even more so for me since it stars my three favorite characters! (Atobe, Niou and Hiyoshi.)
I thought both Niou and Hiyoshi were very well wrtten, Niou especially. You captured him perfectly.
Same for Hiyoshi, though I thought you did a bit better with Niou. I like writing as Hiyoshi, too, so I have analyzed his character quite thouroughly; the main thing I would say is that he should have more positive reguard towards Atobe. It is very common I see that Hiyoshi is Indefinently irritated with his captain and it's simply untrue. You mention his respect for Atobe, fair enough, but it goes beyond that. Hiyoshi basically wants to BE Atobe. He might feel some irritation towards his antics, but make no mistake he has nothing but the highest reguard for Atobe and I think he would be very eager to be in his company.
Atobe himself is another thing I had an issue with. (Like I said, he and Hiyoshi are my favorites so I'm more picky about their characterization.) I just felt Niou over-dramatized his arrogance. I can see absolutely see Niou doing this for his own amusement, but as a reader it gave me the impression this is how Atobe is ALWAYS. And we know this is untrue. One line got me especially in saying 'pretend he's doing everything for others' again, I don't know if that was supposed to be Niou's incorrect reflection of Atobe, but we know just from him doing this for his teammate he surely cares extremely for him. Atobe's generosity is so frequently glossed over I cannot help but pick at this... Also, overall actual Atobe (not Niou) I thought was too up-tight. I've seen some characterize him this way with Niou, Oshitari, and others and I don't find it like him to be that way. He's a little more easy going, not so...arrogant in such a way that he's just kind of...rude to Niou. I've read your writing of Atobe before and I thought it was better than this.
Last thing, his general relationship with Niou I felt mixed about. The way you've written is exactly how I would portray their relationship, BUT ever since they played doubles during U-17, I think this is possibly not how they would interact—or, it's how they would have interacted prior to U-17. In U-17, it really seems as though they are friendly, neither making rude remarks about the other or having any sort of aversion I might have expected. In this fic, Niou clearly isn't Atobe's friend... It's just something to think about. Maybe this is accurate as to how they would have regarded each other prior to U-17. Maybe that is just them on the court; maybe outside of it they are more like my imagination and in this story. It's hard to say because we just haven't seen a whole lot of their relationship. I would hesitate myself to portray it now when I write, I'm uncertain how I would go about it exactly.
I absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED this story, but I see you're such an excellent writer, so I just wanted to point out a few things I felt could have been improved. I hope you don't take this review negatively, I really do like your stories a lot and I hope this wasn't me being too terribly critical.
| Terry-May chapter 1 . 3/10/2014
Amazing! I had a really good time reading this, although the character jumps might have confused me a little. Even the ending was confusing. XD
My pet theory now is that Niou is actually an alien. That would explain his mysterious origins. Lolol
And Hiyoshroom is adorable, and Atobe is just so sweet for planning such a thing for his successor OwO
| suppression profil 2266617 chapter 1 . 10/13/2013
Lord, it was so cute and funny! x)
Hiyoshi being a sci-fi lover is adorable. And Niou definitely deserves his Trickster title!
Thank you for this. :)
| LainellaFay chapter 1 . 9/3/2013
This is awesome! I love your characterisations of the characters. Niou completely fooled everyone. That's the trickster for ya! :D Although, did he or did he not plan the aliens? It would be cool either way.
Jackal really is just Marui's complaining pillow or something.
"Though at least Jackal would get to enjoy some cake before Bunta complained to him. And after so many years, Niou felt that Jackal was probably immune to most complaining and theatrics from his teammates." - Yes, he most probably would. Be like Marui starts complaining, Jackal immediately tunes out :D I wonder if that's how my family deal with me too, I complain a heck of a lot.
Hiyoshi being a sci-fi lover is so adorable, and the cats! He reminded me of Kaidoh then xD All in all, this is amazing, and I will definitely be re-reading this over and over again :) (The length was greatly appreciated too :D)