|Reviews for forest's revenge|
| Draagon537 chapter 5 . 4/1/2017
had to read start to finish since it has been awhile but I got to enjoy it all again, a nice chapter addition there, while short I get you need time to get back into writing. good job bro. BTW you don't need to thank me that much, all I needed was a chapter to read, that was my reward
| darkbloodvampire chapter 4 . 11/18/2014
Love it 3
| Allora Silverfield chapter 1 . 11/7/2014
I would like to preface this with the fact that this is all constructive criticism, none of this is meant for me to sound like a bitch.
First of all, you have zero idea what grammar is. Most if not all of your sentences do not start with a capitol letter, and lack punctuation entirely. You switch back and forth between tenses so often it makes my head spin. The sentences are often run on. There are so many spelling errors it is unbelievable. Many of your dialogue statements lack correct quotation. You seriously need a beta reader more than ever.
Second, the story itself is very shallow. There is no depth. You started off the story with the character giving an introduction of himself (terrible thing to do) and describing his hair color, height, weight, and all other kinds of specifics that no one would actually say when introducing themselves (also horrible idea.) When you introduce a character, you should never ever jump right into how they look. Slowly throughout the first chapter you should drop hints at appearance. Never ever ever post height or weight as numbers. It is a horrible writing technique, and reveals a very poor skill level.
Third, the content is lacking. The characters have no depth at all. You do not explain their personalities at all. There is very little description period. It is a very elementary level of writing. In fact, the only part of the story with any description was the sex scene, which even then, it was lacking. I for one do not enjoy beastiality fanfics, but that is just me. I am not going to judge a story on choice of content, as long as the content is decent, which in this case, it needs work.
You need a beta reader, and to have someone review for content as well, before posting. This chapter was actually hard for me to physically read in places because the sentence structure was so bad and the spelling was incomprehensible.
| eeveechamp chapter 3 . 8/19/2014
This chapter was really weird I read it twice and I still can't wrap my head around it. The whole time I was reading I was thinking it would be funny if at the end of the chapter you put then he woke up because of how many times he got knocked out. Also the whole explanation of the machine that turns pokemon into anthros was really confusing. But the chapter was at least interesting that's for sure.
| AnimeLolipopx chapter 2 . 5/22/2014
| AnimeLolipopx chapter 1 . 5/22/2014
Awesome . i 3 pokemon
| darkbloodvampire chapter 1 . 3/30/2014
| eeveechamp chapter 2 . 9/19/2013
That was pretty good for your second chapter I like how you didn't over power your character you just gave him something useful to him I think he should spend more time with pikachu because he's been with her for a long time. But yeah anyways good chapter can't wait for your next one.
| eeveechamp chapter 1 . 9/4/2013
This is a really good story I thought it was funny he had to have the talk with rioulu (the starlys and the combee) this is good keep it up.