Your summary is pure trash, as is this 1st chapter.
I hope you appreciate my review.

(0_0)...no words can describe how hard I'm laughing right now.

Aww, just when I wanted more...oh well...hope you come back!

I hate your OC's, Lorenzo and Dante, I hate them.
Not some subtle;
"Oh I don't like them,"
But a deep seeded, blood vengeance, level hatred usually reserved for people who have killed your entire family.
Or people who talk in the movie theater.

going to give credit of the doubt and say this was written before Team CFVY.
But this OC could have easily been replaced by Velvet herself, if this is about getting Jaune another friendly face in the 'Ozpin Event.'
Velvet could have been a team leader, Velvet could easily be a Mother To Her Team(Sorry I am a Trooper), not to mention a way for Ozpin to force Velv out of her timid shell. OR Velvet could have been a Special, Solo, or Transfer Student, THOUSANDS OF POSSIBILITIES TO AVOID AN OC!

Fucking KILL THE BLOUNDE CUNT

You’re a fucking liar, YARN. You said you would live on, but noooo. You just had to be suicidal, huh? After you promised Monty Oum you would keep on running forward. You’re a fucking fake. Please, don’t write anymore. Get life straight.

Sorry man but I am done, this chapter had not a single line break. It was near unreadable, and after the first chapter? Nope. Good luck with it though.

(Adventure/Romance )

So far it is nothing but massive amount of emo angst and hurt. There is literally not a single bit of adventure or romance, not humor or crack, nor a bit of comfort even to go with all the hurt/angst.

Really? This is how you start a story that has that type of summary? Uh-huh, sure.

Lmfao! xD.(grabs ribs as he leans back in lawn chair ) Hahaha,just so funny !mahahaha..!*heavy thuds*..oww..medic ,someone...? *Howling in the distance *...s**t..

well you could do jaune fighting his uncle while the rest of his team are having a fun time then after that ozpin comes and stops the fuss and jaune is really mad, then his freinds ask him was that all about hey thats my go to plan but i seen you havent been on lately, on this story at least

So i have a few things to say. You guys want this finished? Then just adopt the fic. Finish it your self. And do it in a way you think will honour YARN.

-Pokes hopefully-

holy shit that got dark fast...

holy shit that got dark fast...