Reviews for The Betrayal and the Payback
Guest chapter 1 . 5/9
You write like a 6 year old.
dracoismineever chapter 1 . 1/31
Why are you telling the entire plot in the notes? It's obnoxious when the authors notes tell too much of the plot and are too long unless it's something important. The little questions you ask can be one line at the very end. Stop wasting my time please.
TaiyoSolTaeyangSunny chapter 5 . 1/26
please update...
frieza-fan27 chapter 5 . 8/18/2015
Can u write more this us really good
shadowcat ninja chapter 2 . 11/28/2014
KILL EVANS AND POTTER
Guest chapter 5 . 11/1/2014
I say u make Lilly pregnant and Harry comes into the world but she becomes baren soon after by something (ex: her unpaid dept. It said that consequence will be made if they don't pay back) and she can't have sex or else she will be in pain since she's a good digger.

For James, after Harry is born, he also can't get another child. Also he finds about Lilly's real intentions on marrying him and becomes heartbroken. However, he falls in love again, but this time to someone that hates his guts because he tortures Severus like Petunia or a true female friend of Severus, OR better yet, Severus's spouse.

For Sirius, make him also fall in love with either Petunia or someone or make him get into an unhappy marriage or make him fall in love with Severus (I'm sorta a yaoi but I like more female and male pairings) and let him suffer from a broken heart with an unrequited love (MWAHAHAHAHA)

For all three, somehow Harry finds about their torture about Severus, who Harry loves like an Uncle or Mentor or even a second father (or something) and hates them with passion, since in the canon, all three sacrifice their lives for him. Imagine when Harry finds about their torture and how angry Harry will be telling and calling them horrible things and that he hates them.

I'm a bit of a sadist but the best suffering is from a broken love or trust. Like the saying goes, revenge is best served cold.
Guest chapter 5 . 7/22/2014
Hope you update
Guest chapter 1 . 2/26/2014
Type your review for this chapter here...
no name chapter 5 . 2/26/2014
hello, sorry for my bad english... :P. 1) Snape, the leader of an army... 50/50. 3 great quest to see if he can be THE leader will be usefull or one main and 3 others quest for each race.(Dragon, Giant, troll) (Centaur, Mermaid, Goblin) (Fairy, Elf, Dwarf).
2) Lily, the pain of love will be epic:), lily the girlfriend of potter. Snape send hot or mary sue girl from usa *for Jame Potter* :D... lily and jame out of the school?/maybe. Sirius black remus lupin petter p. small azkaban/jail (3) hogw. is a private schools...sev can own it :D and kick Albus D. out :) (4) Albus is far away, but no one know where is the sword and armor of Griffindor? Epic Fight Jame/Sword Griff Vs Sev/sly. weapon... or the green Destiny sword in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon :O_. (5) Lily Evans VS Sev Sna or prin... (6) sev can get dumbledore phoenix?the debts?:)
Guest chapter 5 . 2/18/2014
I liked it overall but I don't think the Bones family should owe 2 life debts one of which is for labor pain (maybe a lesser kind of debt)... I also think the last entry lines for Lily, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew (but not Black) seemed kindof informal given the rest of the report but those are just minor complaints I think Diggory should become some kind of ally cause they're the only ones who have acknowledged they have a debt to pay the others might just like "life debt? no way!"
PurpleBullet chapter 5 . 2/20/2014
I LOVE THIS STORY. I can't wait until you post the next chapter.
anotherboarduser chapter 5 . 2/19/2014
I like this chapter.

I think they should be punished VERY severely.

Sirius got away with trying to murder Severus with Remus with little punishment. And then he still continued with bullying Severus. James help Sirius in his actions.

So I think making James and friends broke and imprisoned would be good.
Aomina chapter 4 . 2/19/2014
Lily evens should be forced to watch what she loves the most go to waste... She hates severus' poverty? Give her that poverty. She loves potter? Have her watch potter die by her own hand.. Sev should force her under an imperius curse where she knows what she's doing but can't stop it. Lily wants money and all that shit? Give her hell for me. Give that twisted bitch hell... And tell her it's from Severus.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/21/2013
I think your story is awesome! I love Severus Snape and think Evans, Marauders and the whole 'Light' side are a bunch of hypocrites. Severus is just awesome. I hope you still keep on writing. Although your writing is kind of confusing. Try to keep your writing more in order so readers can understand better. This is constructive criticism. You rock! Long live Severus Snape-Prince! I also like your other stories. Peace!
Guest chapter 4 . 9/19/2013
I can't wait for next chapter! This one was too interesting, scenes in Forbidden Forest, just wow...
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