|Reviews for Phantom Persona|
| Moderation chapter 7 . 9/5
Okay, this is excellent. The grammar is top-notch, the storytelling is excellent, and everyone is in character. I can't wait for the next chapter. Honestly, this fic deserves way more reviews than it currently has. Keep up the good work.
For some constructive criticism, I would suggest taking a little risk in trying to deviate from the original P4 story line. Danny's powers are unique, so his actions should be as well. Personally, I notice a lack of his invisibility, intangibility, and flight, in both the TV and real world. Even if there are limits, it would still be nice to see him utilize his talents more effectively. After all, he could fly his friends through locked doors in the dungeons, among other cheats that save time.
Don't get me wrong, though. I think Danny would be very, very careful using Phantom in the real world, as it would be entirely too easy for any observer to connect the dots.
Also, as a tip to save time writing the rescue scenes: make sure Danny is worried about some of the more troubling details, like the starvation/dehydration of the victims. Even if time is wonky there, being stuck for nearly a week would have anyone starve to death (something that the makers of P4 dropped the ball with, honestly). This should limit the number of times entering the dungeon while keeping the ball rolling story-wise, so there would be more time to emphasize character-development, the growing friendships, and the inevitable mystery of Phantom and the murders that draws Naoto to Danny.
| Philip J Fry chapter 7 . 8/29
Rest assure, I may not review every chapter (I read these from my phone and it's a pain in the ass to review), but I am now a loyal reader.
Loved that you incorporated DC into this, maybe when you do like news segments or making dialogue of minor characters they can talk about events in the comics? Doesn't have to effect the story itself but it could give it some depth to the world so to speak. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this clearly. But from where I stand minor details like this can really spruce up the story world and help for reader's immersion.
Maybe one day you can do a DP and DC crossover. Kinda liked how you wrote the solo hero act he does and maybe you can do something along those lines? All in all I like how this story is going, the angst doesn't make me want to tear my eyes out (The 'authors' on this website take angst wayyy too the extreme) and Phantom's powerful but he doesn't steamroll over the enemies. Hope Tucker and Sam get what's coming to him though. A bro doesn't go after a bro's ex.
| Philip J Fry chapter 5 . 8/29
Why do all the shitty Nartard fics get all the reviews but an epic gem like this hardly gets any? Doesn't seem fair. I guess because it's kind of a rare crossover, you got my attention and support. Just be sure to ultimately end it alright? It just breaks my heart when people leave stories unfinished.
| Philip J Fry chapter 1 . 8/29
Wanted to let you know, I haven't read the story yet but I'm going to purely because of your summary. It was short and engaging, you told us what it was about without revealing anything really. Made me curious enough about the story to actually get into it. Great job.
| Blazingkill chapter 7 . 8/29
Woooo your still alive! Can't wait for new chapters!
| PhantomOfTheBookStore chapter 6 . 10/5/2014
This story is really awesome. I've enjoyed reading it. Really a shame you didn't finish it.
| RomanDragon47 chapter 6 . 11/13/2013
Glad to see you back and great chapter very well written! The Emperor Protects!
| J chapter 2 . 11/8/2013
Hey, was that Marie? Will she appear in this story or was it just some random person?
| Minaly22 chapter 5 . 11/6/2013
The concept is really interesting. I'm looking forward for more in the future, don't worry, everything will be fine.
| Exalted Demi-Soul chapter 5 . 10/14/2013
The ending was really touching.
| Exalted Demi-Soul chapter 4 . 10/12/2013
I wonder what his thoughts of the Persona will be? Although, I have to admit that I'm glad he's accepting the situation for what it is.
| Exalted Demi-Soul chapter 3 . 9/26/2013
Danny's getting freaked out by the weird things happening around him. He'll really -love- the shadows. -Note my sarcasm- Great story, loving the preparation for the Persona-meets-Phantom ordeal. Have to admit, he'll miss beating up ghost when everything picks up.
| Umbra.Venator chapter 3 . 9/26/2013
Cool story so far, haven't seen persona, but this crossover makes it seem interesting.
| vincent the vizard chapter 2 . 9/19/2013
Nice work man, good luck.
| Exalted Demi-Soul chapter 2 . 9/14/2013
I definitely like this. I wonder how Danny will fit in with the Inaba crowd? After all, Inaba is...well, the quote is rather overused.