|Reviews for Phantom Persona|
| Xolsis chapter 8 . 3/22/2017
So this is a completely new idea for DP that í haven't seen before. The way that the trio though does bother me as I can't see Tucker and Sam being that shallow and betraying Danny like that so í would like it if you would touch that part up when you do edits. Another thing is that a good portion of the dialogue follows the persona 4 game a bit too much though the parts you add like the Chie and Yukiko are well done in my opinion. My last criticism is the fact that neither Chie or Yosuke freaked out at all that Danny is a ghost. Yes í get that Persona and shadows would make that almost normal but remember when Danny became s ghost he died. He had to to become a half ghost and that alone would freak anybody out regardless of what weird shit they deal with. And animales this í get the feeling that you brush off the events of DP sometimes such as when Danny explains what happened to him.
I know this makes it seem like í dont enjoy the series but i do. I love how Danny is slowly getting back his spirit in Inaba and how he begins to feel toward the Investigation team. How original of idea that Danny doesn't have a Persona because of an external power and that you didn't take the easy way out and said oh it because he's a half ghost. I do wonder how Danny will finally unlock his Persona. I hope that it will be by facing himself and in front of everybody else so that they will become closer. Though I would like to see this as soon as you can but i will understand if you wait a bit in the story to do so. Now for the romance bit. May í just say how happy í am that someone is writing one on Naoto being the romantic interest that is actually well written. I NEVER can find one so this fic really took my interest. Im wondering if you're going to find a way to bring her in earlier than in the game but i think that would be pretty hard to do in a good way. Hope to see the edits and the next chapter just take your time after a rushed job is a sloppy job.
| ShadowedCalling chapter 8 . 3/12/2017
Glad to see you're back. I'll have to reread the what's already there once a new chapter comes out so I can catch all of the edits you're adding in.
| webghost chapter 8 . 3/12/2017
I'm just happy your back
| Moderation chapter 8 . 3/11/2017
Good to hear, and good luck.
| xanothos chapter 7 . 10/15/2016
This is the third time I've read this story, and it gets better every time. I hope you come back to it soon.
| SilverFlameHaze chapter 2 . 7/24/2016
I found this story in on TVTropes and I didn't mind the concept. Definitely liked the lead up, but...
I don't know why, but for some reason your writing really reminds me of my own. Particularly, "He trusted his instincts more than anything else, except maybe his intelligence."
:P... Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more! :D
| Moderation chapter 7 . 9/5/2015
Okay, this is excellent. The grammar is top-notch, the storytelling is excellent, and everyone is in character. I can't wait for the next chapter. Honestly, this fic deserves way more reviews than it currently has. Keep up the good work.
For some constructive criticism, I would suggest taking a little risk in trying to deviate from the original P4 story line. Danny's powers are unique, so his actions should be as well. Personally, I notice a lack of his invisibility, intangibility, and flight, in both the TV and real world. Even if there are limits, it would still be nice to see him utilize his talents more effectively. After all, he could fly his friends through locked doors in the dungeons, among other cheats that save time.
Don't get me wrong, though. I think Danny would be very, very careful using Phantom in the real world, as it would be entirely too easy for any observer to connect the dots.
Also, as a tip to save time writing the rescue scenes: make sure Danny is worried about some of the more troubling details, like the starvation/dehydration of the victims. Even if time is wonky there, being stuck for nearly a week would have anyone starve to death (something that the makers of P4 dropped the ball with, honestly). This should limit the number of times entering the dungeon while keeping the ball rolling story-wise, so there would be more time to emphasize character-development, the growing friendships, and the inevitable mystery of Phantom and the murders that draws Naoto to Danny.
| Philip J Fry chapter 7 . 8/29/2015
Rest assure, I may not review every chapter (I read these from my phone and it's a pain in the ass to review), but I am now a loyal reader.
Loved that you incorporated DC into this, maybe when you do like news segments or making dialogue of minor characters they can talk about events in the comics? Doesn't have to effect the story itself but it could give it some depth to the world so to speak. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this clearly. But from where I stand minor details like this can really spruce up the story world and help for reader's immersion.
Maybe one day you can do a DP and DC crossover. Kinda liked how you wrote the solo hero act he does and maybe you can do something along those lines? All in all I like how this story is going, the angst doesn't make me want to tear my eyes out (The 'authors' on this website take angst wayyy too the extreme) and Phantom's powerful but he doesn't steamroll over the enemies. Hope Tucker and Sam get what's coming to him though. A bro doesn't go after a bro's ex.
| Philip J Fry chapter 5 . 8/29/2015
Why do all the shitty Nartard fics get all the reviews but an epic gem like this hardly gets any? Doesn't seem fair. I guess because it's kind of a rare crossover, you got my attention and support. Just be sure to ultimately end it alright? It just breaks my heart when people leave stories unfinished.
| Philip J Fry chapter 1 . 8/29/2015
Wanted to let you know, I haven't read the story yet but I'm going to purely because of your summary. It was short and engaging, you told us what it was about without revealing anything really. Made me curious enough about the story to actually get into it. Great job.
| Blazingkill chapter 7 . 8/29/2015
Woooo your still alive! Can't wait for new chapters!
| PhantomOfTheBookStore chapter 6 . 10/5/2014
This story is really awesome. I've enjoyed reading it. Really a shame you didn't finish it.
| RomanDragon47 chapter 6 . 11/13/2013
Glad to see you back and great chapter very well written! The Emperor Protects!
| J chapter 2 . 11/8/2013
Hey, was that Marie? Will she appear in this story or was it just some random person?
| Minaly22 chapter 5 . 11/6/2013
The concept is really interesting. I'm looking forward for more in the future, don't worry, everything will be fine.