|Reviews for The Lonely Sea|
| Dummy Perception chapter 1 . 12/3/2012
That was really intense. Although I don't like endings like that, I don't think it'd end a lot better when continued either. Nice job.
| brindani chapter 1 . 10/19/2004
Hope you continue this, it's really starting to get good.
| Tim Z chapter 1 . 9/18/2002
Wow, your fics sure do stir up a lot of controversy, Ed. The only real big problem I have with this one is that I don't see why Akane didn't go with Ranma; that he would just go of without any hesitation at all also seems a bit out of character. Looking at Hayato Myojin's story, it's pretty obvious that he doesn't like to think about his abandonment of Ukyo at all, so why would he suddenly choose to wallow in it?
Akane was wildly out of character in her closing speech. To first persuade Ranma not to go looking for Ukyo - it's just not her. And then not to offer any assistance - you've painted her to be a very selfish person, when both you and I know she isn't. Ukyo is her friend, after all. As much as Ranma, Akane helps out people who need it.
Thirdly, Ranma's line in response to Akane's 'do you think I'll wait for you?' is itself out of character. You might believe that Ukyo was in love with Ranma the entire time, Ed, but Ranma doesn't. If she loved him even before coming to Nerima, she's never told him anything about it - only that she trained for ten years so that she could beat him. And every time she brings the subject up, he refuses to listen.
I agree with you that Ranma would go after Ukyo if he thought she were still alive. I'll agree with Excel, however, that the line about Ukyo's build was a bit of indulgent wishful thinking. Binding breasts does stunt their growth, after all. I don't think the fact that men in the world of Ranma 1/2 are only interested in female Ranma, Akane, and Shampoo is any coincidence.
And Akira, if you're going to make claims like that, I'm going to ask you to back them up. If you call saving someone's life on numerous occasions (let's not forget that Akane only needed saving in Phoenix Mountain because she took the blast of the Kinjakan for Ranma) worthless, I'd really like to know what you think is worth anything.
| Eckoii chapter 1 . 9/18/2002
MORE! this is a very good story, interesting plot. You MUST put in Ryouga, you did mention him being the one of the people that Ranma ruined their lives... IT IS A MUST! Well done and well written!
| Excel chapter 1 . 9/18/2002
"At different points in the manga Ranma has rescued every one of his fiancees (including Nabiki), random strangers (like Sentarou), enemies (like Mousse), and even people who tried to kill him (like Herb).
But you can't imagine Ranma trying to rescue a friend like Ukyou? Frankly, I don't understand you, Excel."
It's simple, really. In all those previous cases, there was a threat against them, and Ranma could do something to protect them. In this case, Ukyo is already gone, most likely dead. Ranma would be mourning her, most likely, and Akane would go with him, because to her, Ukyo is friend. Akane has helped save Ukyo before, after all.
But based on the rest of your fanfics, you probably don't understand her character well, which is okay, because it can be hard to see if you're not a girl like me.
| Six-string Samurai chapter 1 . 9/17/2002
Had you submitted or archived this fic somewhere else before? I'm sure I remember reading this many months ago...at any rate, this is some piece of work you've written here. Great bit of angst and drama you've crafted. I look forward to seeing some of your older work continued, if possible.
| Ed Simons chapter 1 . 9/17/2002
Actually, one more thing nags at me. Why would Ranma go looking for her at all?
At different points in the manga Ranma has rescued every one of his fiancees (including Nabiki), random strangers (like Sentarou), enemies (like Mousse), and even people who tried to kill him (like Herb).
But you can't imagine Ranma trying to rescue a friend like Ukyou? Frankly, I don't understand you, Excel.
A Reviewer said:
Perhaps you'd like it if I wrote a fic where Ranma decided he hated violence and became a vet, hmm?
That could actually work if done properly. Violence sure hasn't solved any or Ranma's real problems, has it? Take a look at what Takahashi-sama did with Ranma during the Huryu Souten Ha story for the best example in radically changing the way Ranma acts. I hope you write it, I look forward on being able to comment on some of your work.
If you're not going to keep the original cast as they were written in the original manga, what is the point of
It's essential if you want a story where the cast grow up, solve their problems, and maybe find happiness. The only time there wouldn't be changes would be if you keep the cast as eternal teenagers, like in the Archie comics.
| Akira Kuonji chapter 1 . 9/16/2002
It's the masterpiece of your fics, IMHO. Since Ranma always puts honour/pride over anything else, I believe he would take that way and leave that worthless violent bimbo behind.
| Excel chapter 1 . 9/16/2002
Well, at least you got Ukyo's seething rage down right. When she blows, she does it harder than Akane ever did!
However, one thing nags at me. Why didn't Akane want to go with Ranma? After all, Ukyo is her friend, and Akane is able to forgive practically everything. Obviously this fic is going from Manga's end, and Akane has shown a willingness to travel when need be. And let's not forget both Ranma and Akane helped Ukyo out when she was sick, and the Tendo's opened their home to her when she was depressed.
Ukyo chose to go for revenge and she chooses to be alone. She's like Ryoga in that respect, in that they both chose to hunt someone down for things that weren't Ranma's fault, and to blame him for their own problems. Ukyo needs to learn to see her own faults and her own problems as her own.
Actually, one more thing nags at me. Why would Ranma go looking for her at all? It's a common misconception that Ranma sees Ukyo as a "good friend" and it's fanboy wishful thinking that he sees her in any way as a potential mate. He might feel a bit bad for her at times,but Ranma is Mr. Insensitive, meaning he doesn't really understand people. The only reason he understands Ryoga and Akane more, is that they are like him. I have a hard time seeing Ranma going after her. He might be a little more concerned than usual, but he wouldn't take off; he'd most likely think she was dead.
One last note: "Ranma blushed as he realized he was thinking how much better built his cute fiancée was than his uncute fiancée." Is this line really necessary? Especially given the tone of the story? Also given the fact that it's not Ranma who thinks like this... it's rabid Ukyo fanboys like the author of "Okonomiyaki Summer."
| beer-monster chapter 1 . 9/16/2002
Great story, poigniant, passionate and bittersweet. Good stuff I look forward to more
| skai chapter 1 . 9/16/2002
I like, I like! pretty good story, believable too. I don't think it's beyond Ranma drop everything to search for Ukyo.
| The Reviewer chapter 1 . 9/15/2002
So you're saying that because it's fanfiction, it's alright if people act out of character? Perhaps you'd like it if I wrote a fic where Ranma decided he hated violence and became a vet, hmm? If you're not going to keep the original cast as they were written in the original manga, what is the point of your story?
| ReindeerEmu chapter 1 . 9/15/2002
Okay I'm beyond depressed, and very impressed. This story was so real it's scary. Great job.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/15/2002
Please update this soon! Let Ranma find Ukyou and the two of them get married and live happily ever after.
| Gary Fedorco chapter 1 . 9/15/2002
Continue this story, it's very good. I for one am rather sick of reveiwers saying things about OOC. It's a fanfiction for God's sake.