|Reviews for Above and Below the Streets of Shibuya|
| Amulet Misty chapter 12 . 6/1/2014
Oh, so this is only the first part. I was worried at first, after seeing that this was mark 'completed'. Anyway, you've left for a good set up for the next part, with Hanekoma having a few things to deal with.
Just keep on going with what you've been doing, so I can't wait for the next part :D
| Chronic Guardian chapter 12 . 5/29/2014
Congrats on finishing part 1! Kind of a subtle, low key setup, but Sanae's a subtle, low key kind of guy, so it works. The one question really bugging me right now is "Why can't he talk to other Angels?" but maybe that's just the head canon projecting over.
I like the whisperer concept, it intrigues me. Do we get to find out later on why this is happening or is it sort of just left up to our imaginations? Either way, it was a nice touch to this chapter and definitely helped with getting Sanae's internal monologue out there.
Note! After the voice tells Sanae that his empathy doesn't make him selfless, there's a sentence that should end in a question mark but ends in a period. Just lettin' you know, you know?
Anyway, it's a nice beginning. I'll be looking forward to your continued interpretations in the next go around. You finished your first fanfic! Put that completed stamp on it and have a cuppa-joe (or martinelli's, if it's available). Everyone starts somewhere, it can only grow greater from here.
| Amulet Misty chapter 11 . 5/3/2014
Ohhh! Konishiii. O.O That was an interestjnh
| The Professor of time chapter 10 . 4/29/2014
Have I achieved newly developed Platonic Sho/Sanae shipping? Yes, yes I have.
Can't wait for your next update!
| Amulet Misty chapter 10 . 4/22/2014
Sho! He is such a sweet kid, dawwww x3 This was much more light hearted, as promised. I do see Sho as having something to prove, though I guess that became out of control later on in his (after)life.
Even if Mr. H supposedly isn't the best with kids, at least he tries :) It had a good ending for Sho for this chapter, after all.
| Mr. H chapter 10 . 4/21/2014
I have high standards when it comes to fanfics, and I gotta say, this one's a winner. I love the premise, and I love how well the characters are portrayed; if Square Enix ever makes a prequel, it'll probably look like this. Great job; I hope to see more in the future :)
| Chronic Guardian chapter 10 . 4/21/2014
It's odd to think of Sho as such a sympathetic/vulnerable character... but at the same time, knowing about the connection further down the road does make sense now in it's own odd little way.
You could use a little touch up grammar-wise. There are a few cases of homonyms (Words that imitate the sounding of different words, but not the meaning) such as "thoughs" instead of "those", as well as some short term repetition like "Maybe one day, the whole town could one day be just as warming". Watch out for this, it's a simple mistake that even the best of us make, but more than one instance can really hurt your quality rating. Not saying I'm about to stop reading or anything, just giving pointers.
I like Sanae's approach to Sho, he sees his dilemma and helps him solve it, but only by showing the way rather than directly offering solutions. This is totally in character and a definite feather in your cap writing-wise. Also, it's a nice chapter ending because Sho is putting the exact same thing back at Sanae: he needs to confront his issues rather than running from them. I think that Sanae tends to get caught up in helping others at this point, and thus has trouble finding time to put his own path straight. But at the same times, it's through helping other that he discovers the solutions he needs as well. It's a nice echo of the original and reads quite nicely.
What else to say? You're doing alright, just pull it together form-wise and you should be in good shape.
| Amulet Misty chapter 9 . 4/7/2014
A kid this time ;-; You gotta feel sad for parents when their children die. Ahh, poor dad...he thought it was his fault. But Mr. H blames himself too, even though he really can't change the rules, and that must be painful too. For an angel, his feelings are really human.
And ooooh. Is that you , Joshua? -shifty eyes-
Ah, a good update, this was. I mean, not good for the death but...you know what I mean.
| nanaxkitty chapter 8 . 2/26/2014
This is fantastic. But painful to read because it's so sad. Keep up the good work.
| Amulet Misty chapter 8 . 1/29/2014
Sanae...ahhh how does he cope with feeling all that pain!? But yeah it's because he loves humans so much, and feels compassion towards them.
I liked that moment with the feathers. It lightened the mood considerably after that tough ordeal...
| Amulet Misty chapter 7 . 12/25/2013
Mr. H! ;-; Oh God, this is just hurtful. Hanekoma has to feel the horrible deaths going on...That last line though - oww. No. That really was a killer.
| Chronic Guardian chapter 7 . 12/22/2013
I love the dynamic you have going on in Hanekoma's perspective. He has a very broad, overarching view of what's going on, but he also is very attuned to specific events leading up to the end result. Although, I suspect something must happen between now and the games because otherwise I can't see how he'd operate with all the erasures going on.
Do you take constructive criticism? If so, I've a few notes to give; PM me if you're interested.
Yu is a really interesting character in that he embodies Sho's stubbornness in a positive way. Plus, he's not a psychopath. I mean, you could have him throw the occasional math term in just to cement the connection, but he's good as you have him and that would just be the icing on the cake.
I also like what you did with the ending. Particularly because you're just starting out, we as the audience don't know your style yet. Could this child be someone we know? Sho, perhaps? Or is it someone entirely unrelated? I could just barely see you going with the second option and making the next few chapters the tragic tale of a child that doesn't make it through the games, but frankly you seem to upbeat to do something like that on a whim. I suppose I've little recourse but to wait and see, eh?
See you next time!
| The Professor of time chapter 7 . 12/20/2013
This is really good! Please update soon!
| Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 12/16/2013
An idly wandering Angel? Hmmm... And just whose rules prevent him from interfering, I wonder? Moreover, did Shibuya even have a producer before he came along? You raise curiosity and investment in Sanae as a character with your first chapter. I like how the chapter title ties in, how most people casually sling negativity helter skelter, but for Sanae it's a casual act of helping and enhancing. He's willing to put in the effort for the small stuff. His habits define his nature and set him apart.
I'll be reading again when I have time, but until then know that you do well at your craft.
| Amulet Misty chapter 6 . 11/9/2013
Oh dear, I'm getting a bad feeling about this for some reason. (I hope I'm just being paranoid). But oooh coffee. I wonder of this is where Hanekoma gains his interest in it from. x3 I'm really liking Yu :)