|Reviews for My Path that Loops
| Comic Manga chapter 2 . 10/8/2023
shouldn't join konaha
| Comic Manga chapter 2 . 10/8/2023
| TrumpasaurusRex chapter 1 . 9/12/2023
I give a small smile as I unfurled the bundle. "I can't use chakra outside of my body, properly. An Epidermis Chakra disease."
| KingOfEmptyness chapter 1 . 6/10/2023
dont like anko at all
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/25/2023
Everything that was good about the MC was completely negated in the first chapter. The MC understands the reality of the shinobi world, he understands the darkness of it and he understands Konoha’s ridiculous hypocrisy…and yet he stays in Konoha despite the fact he is known as ‘The Wanderer’. Not only that, but he’s a push-over and simply accepts everything that’s thrusted on to him. I hate it when characters are forced to do things they do not want to do, well the MC is forced to do things multiple times and seemingly accepts it. He is taken advantage of too much for me to like this story.
| Guest chapter 17 . 5/2/2023
Please Pick Yugito.
| AuthorxAuthor chapter 1 . 3/26/2023
okay I can't continue, I hate it when an MC is forced to do something and his reaction to it is something of a comic nature like you don't have to react but at least remember the offense
| jockinjock7 chapter 2 . 2/22/2023
Yo, my guy ruined a guys livelihood cuz he screamed at a kid. And btw there is no such law which is well enforced. I've seen plenty of people blacklisted from shops and companies for personal reasons.
And the removing of the butcher is bs too. There are a lot of forms you have to fill out, the bureaucracy is terrible. And i ask...do you really think that a merchants guild cares about people more than merchants and themselves? Like the guy could probably give more than the 7 woman could. This is more moral than logic. No it's simply illogical at the time only moral. The guild is meant to serve the interests of the merchants not the people. And i have never heard of any organization who care more for a beginner compared to a veteran, like it never happens. Especially if you think this would ever go down well. I know for a fact that people hate it when they mess with you, had a friend who had the same thing happen to him. He was a fairly rich guy, he ended up not only suing the place but also put hundreds of cases and bribed people to file complaints against shops. And he didn't even stop there, he was very well known in the area since he was from there and had a lot of friends. He ended up protesting in the area, he even started a bloody riot(i wasn't there for this part), they ended up breaking targeted stores, the building of the organization as well as stole a lot of goods from the guy noobie who lied about the complaints. He had long back bribed other shop keepers to keep shut while the noobie didn't know anyone there.
The scenerios are very similar. The new company ended up losing hundreds of thousands of dollars, luckily for the organization(which helps out companies in market) had insurance, my friend made sure no insurance would cover the thing.
The idiot thought he was creating a loophole, my friend just wanted petty revenge anyways and he was already banned so whatever he did in the marketplace didn't matter. He didn't make many enemies either outside of the new company which ended up partially bankrupt and eventually taken over. The guy was an idiot, put most of his money in the company which was understandable if he was poor but the guy was rich, but my friend was richer and had more than one company. Never would understand what gave the guy the guts to file a complaint, especially a fake one.
| DarkBan chapter 32 . 12/28/2022
well, damn, what a ride this was
Very well written story, great plot too!
i adored the MC xD
All in all, 10/10
Thanks for writtingand sharing this story :)
| ladeejay chapter 1 . 12/26/2022
wish you'd continue this story, but 2 years... damn it
| TheBroble chapter 32 . 12/18/2022
The battle against the rogue Uchiha raged. The world united in its defense, fighting against its total annihilation. At the climax, Madara pulled a move that would be his last. He cast the Infinite Tsukiyomi. Casting his eye upon the moon had consequences.
Kaguya Ōtsutsuki has descended upon the shinobi world once again
Using Madara's body as a vessel, Kaguya broke from her seal on the moon. Inhabiting the body of Hashirama's rival, Kaguya transformed it into her visage. A princess. Snow white hair, porcelain skin, lavender eyes usually associated with the Hyuuga, and in the middle of her forehead a Rinne-Sharingan. A combination of the Rinnegan and Sharingan. She wore white robes similar to Madara's with red and violet accents.
The Shinobi Alliance was struck dumb by her beauty, but more so by the turn of events. Someone had taken over Madara's body. Their enemy was defeated. It was not time for celebration though. The newcomer was not known to be friend or foe quite yet. Tension seeped in as they tried to ascertain her allegiance.
Kaguya finally gained some measure of awareness. Looking about the battlefield below, She noticed the Alliance. Reaching out with her senses, she sensed it. Chakra, the gift of the fruit. Thousands
of sparks leading into a flame of energy. A gift given to her through the tree, spread from her dear children to everyone.
Team 7 elected their selves to test the waters so to speak as the others got into a defensive formation. Naruto, cloaked in gold, helped his fellow members fly. Together, they ascended to meet the goddess. Conviction in their spirit, Courage in their action. Gone were the children, they once were. They had grown.
The two sides had met upon air. Kaguya focusing on the ones approaching her. Team 7 focusing on the newcomer. Naruto decided that was a good enough time to open his mouth and speak the words that everyone was wondering.
"Who are you?". Simple and to the point. Kaguya's face scrunched in contemplation as she worked over the question in her mind.
"Kaguya Ōtsutsuki" was her answer, said in a way that almost expected a reaction. She was a peacekeeper, through war. A ruler through strength. Strength was her weapon. Might, her tool. Her strength was not shown through her punches or kicks, but through her chakra and use of it. Reality bent upon her whims, and space buckled at her call.
"Doesn't ring a bell"
(I'm too lazy to write anymore. Someone finish it.)
| TheBroble chapter 2 . 12/17/2022
| TheBroble chapter 1 . 12/17/2022
| pablososek chapter 32 . 8/15/2022
Good story! Keep it up! Hope you will update it sonn :)
| TheNStorm chapter 15 . 6/16/2022
hm. meant to submit this four chapters ago...
Alright. here's my take on the neverending Gary Stu defense you've got going here: you really, really don't need to doubt yourself on that score. A character can quite literally always be seen as Gary Stu or not Gary Stu based on the reader's own detail analysis. It's not up to you as the writer whether some shmoe on the internet thinks you're writing a Gary Stu or not.
That's not very satisfying? Well here, I'll do you one better: as an academy-trained critic I can personally say this on the subject. A Gary Stu character is a simple one, who doesn't mirror real life's complexities, successes, and failures closely enough that you as the author can get your point across. See, you're telling us readers "this is what life is like," with every chapter. Maybe not a real life, or maybe not your life, or mine specifically, but all the same you entertain and educate us with your writing and you do it by describing life.
And, Friend, you're doing that just fine. Your characters are complex enough to be freaking beautiful. You want to clean them up more, introduce different choices, complexities, losses, successes? Fine. But don't do it because you want to avoid making that two-dimensional simple character, you've already got a three-dimensional complex one. Instead do it because you think "dude, this would be an awesome change for the storyyeah?
PS: What's with calling it ichiruka and not ichiraku? Did somebody do a 'find and replace' on the last six chapters?
PPS: got a polisher? there are some minor usage issues sprinkled through the whole document, and you might be well served by getting somebody to smooth em out.