|Reviews for My Path that Loops|
| AuthorxAuthor chapter 1 . 3/26
okay I can't continue, I hate it when an MC is forced to do something and his reaction to it is something of a comic nature like you don't have to react but at least remember the offense
| jockinjock7 chapter 2 . 2/22
Yo, my guy ruined a guys livelihood cuz he screamed at a kid. And btw there is no such law which is well enforced. I've seen plenty of people blacklisted from shops and companies for personal reasons.
And the removing of the butcher is bs too. There are a lot of forms you have to fill out, the bureaucracy is terrible. And i ask...do you really think that a merchants guild cares about people more than merchants and themselves? Like the guy could probably give more than the 7 woman could. This is more moral than logic. No it's simply illogical at the time only moral. The guild is meant to serve the interests of the merchants not the people. And i have never heard of any organization who care more for a beginner compared to a veteran, like it never happens. Especially if you think this would ever go down well. I know for a fact that people hate it when they mess with you, had a friend who had the same thing happen to him. He was a fairly rich guy, he ended up not only suing the place but also put hundreds of cases and bribed people to file complaints against shops. And he didn't even stop there, he was very well known in the area since he was from there and had a lot of friends. He ended up protesting in the area, he even started a bloody riot(i wasn't there for this part), they ended up breaking targeted stores, the building of the organization as well as stole a lot of goods from the guy noobie who lied about the complaints. He had long back bribed other shop keepers to keep shut while the noobie didn't know anyone there.
The scenerios are very similar. The new company ended up losing hundreds of thousands of dollars, luckily for the organization(which helps out companies in market) had insurance, my friend made sure no insurance would cover the thing.
The idiot thought he was creating a loophole, my friend just wanted petty revenge anyways and he was already banned so whatever he did in the marketplace didn't matter. He didn't make many enemies either outside of the new company which ended up partially bankrupt and eventually taken over. The guy was an idiot, put most of his money in the company which was understandable if he was poor but the guy was rich, but my friend was richer and had more than one company. Never would understand what gave the guy the guts to file a complaint, especially a fake one.
| DarkBan chapter 32 . 12/28/2022
well, damn, what a ride this was
Very well written story, great plot too!
i adored the MC xD
All in all, 10/10
Thanks for writtingand sharing this story :)
| ladeejay chapter 1 . 12/26/2022
wish you'd continue this story, but 2 years... damn it
| TheBroble chapter 32 . 12/18/2022
The battle against the rogue Uchiha raged. The world united in its defense, fighting against its total annihilation. At the climax, Madara pulled a move that would be his last. He cast the Infinite Tsukiyomi. Casting his eye upon the moon had consequences.
Kaguya Ōtsutsuki has descended upon the shinobi world once again
Using Madara's body as a vessel, Kaguya broke from her seal on the moon. Inhabiting the body of Hashirama's rival, Kaguya transformed it into her visage. A princess. Snow white hair, porcelain skin, lavender eyes usually associated with the Hyuuga, and in the middle of her forehead a Rinne-Sharingan. A combination of the Rinnegan and Sharingan. She wore white robes similar to Madara's with red and violet accents.
The Shinobi Alliance was struck dumb by her beauty, but more so by the turn of events. Someone had taken over Madara's body. Their enemy was defeated. It was not time for celebration though. The newcomer was not known to be friend or foe quite yet. Tension seeped in as they tried to ascertain her allegiance.
Kaguya finally gained some measure of awareness. Looking about the battlefield below, She noticed the Alliance. Reaching out with her senses, she sensed it. Chakra, the gift of the fruit. Thousands
of sparks leading into a flame of energy. A gift given to her through the tree, spread from her dear children to everyone.
Team 7 elected their selves to test the waters so to speak as the others got into a defensive formation. Naruto, cloaked in gold, helped his fellow members fly. Together, they ascended to meet the goddess. Conviction in their spirit, Courage in their action. Gone were the children, they once were. They had grown.
The two sides had met upon air. Kaguya focusing on the ones approaching her. Team 7 focusing on the newcomer. Naruto decided that was a good enough time to open his mouth and speak the words that everyone was wondering.
"Who are you?". Simple and to the point. Kaguya's face scrunched in contemplation as she worked over the question in her mind.
"Kaguya Ōtsutsuki" was her answer, said in a way that almost expected a reaction. She was a peacekeeper, through war. A ruler through strength. Strength was her weapon. Might, her tool. Her strength was not shown through her punches or kicks, but through her chakra and use of it. Reality bent upon her whims, and space buckled at her call.
"Doesn't ring a bell"
(I'm too lazy to write anymore. Someone finish it.)
| TheBroble chapter 2 . 12/17/2022
| TheBroble chapter 1 . 12/17/2022
| pablososek chapter 32 . 8/15/2022
Good story! Keep it up! Hope you will update it sonn :)
| TheNStorm chapter 15 . 6/16/2022
hm. meant to submit this four chapters ago...
Alright. here's my take on the neverending Gary Stu defense you've got going here: you really, really don't need to doubt yourself on that score. A character can quite literally always be seen as Gary Stu or not Gary Stu based on the reader's own detail analysis. It's not up to you as the writer whether some shmoe on the internet thinks you're writing a Gary Stu or not.
That's not very satisfying? Well here, I'll do you one better: as an academy-trained critic I can personally say this on the subject. A Gary Stu character is a simple one, who doesn't mirror real life's complexities, successes, and failures closely enough that you as the author can get your point across. See, you're telling us readers "this is what life is like," with every chapter. Maybe not a real life, or maybe not your life, or mine specifically, but all the same you entertain and educate us with your writing and you do it by describing life.
And, Friend, you're doing that just fine. Your characters are complex enough to be freaking beautiful. You want to clean them up more, introduce different choices, complexities, losses, successes? Fine. But don't do it because you want to avoid making that two-dimensional simple character, you've already got a three-dimensional complex one. Instead do it because you think "dude, this would be an awesome change for the storyyeah?
PS: What's with calling it ichiruka and not ichiraku? Did somebody do a 'find and replace' on the last six chapters?
PPS: got a polisher? there are some minor usage issues sprinkled through the whole document, and you might be well served by getting somebody to smooth em out.
| Tsuyoshi Tunafish chapter 1 . 5/7/2022
The mc refuses to help with everything but when Jiraiya says it's a girl he agrees to help? Isn't Sasuke a child and saving Anko won't change anything? Does he really believe that?
| Ryuu24 chapter 32 . 4/15/2022
Also, I hate you for making Gaara captured
He's been through enough. Especially with shit father like Rasa
Who am I kidding. Every jinchuriki have been through enough
But it is too cruel because in this fic, Gaara and Fuu (and maybe Utakata) might be the only jinchuriki that never get help from toki for their seal
You gave other jinchuriki a chance for more stable seal, but not them. And now you're throwing Gaara into prison. My baby didn't deserve it
| Ryuu24 chapter 31 . 4/15/2022
Why hirusen still alive? I wish he died like canon. We already have Tsunade now. No need for old cot
Except if Toki planned to kill him later
I seriously need that revenge
Danzo is the bad guy just as bad as Tobi and Zetsu. There's no discussion. But hiruzen is also at fault and my soul wouldn't be at peace until he pay his sin
Preferably by dying in Toki hands
Who am I kidding. The ideal situation (for me) is for a member of Akatsuki to clash with Naruto (maybe Asuma too) and told him that Hiruzen order for Toki assassination. Then let Naruto storm the hokage tower. I would pay for seeing hiruzen reaction
| Ryuu24 chapter 30 . 4/15/2022
I always hate Hiruzen
Since I knew Naruto is The Fourth's child. And then Minato and Kushina ENTRUST Naruto to him. But what did he do? He let the misunderstanding continue. Let the hatred continue. Even in front of his eye. He never reprimind the shinobi that scorn naruto IN FRONT OF HIRUZEN OWN EYES *cough*Ebisu*cough*
He kept Naruto's parentage secret but reveal his jinchuriki status. For what? To protect Naruto? From who? Minato enemies? What a joke. The number of enemies who will after Naruto for being jinchuriki is FAR higher than the ones who after him for being Minato's child
And not only Bastard Hiruzen kept Naruto's father identity from him, he kept his mother's identity too. Why? Clearly not for protecting Naruto's kekkei genkai secret, because he gave the name UZUMAKI. So why never told him about his mother?
Because Hiruzen is a prick. Hands down
And I'm glad he's dead. Tsunade is WAY more competent than him. Hiruzen has failed konoha too many times. With naruto case, hyuga case, uchiha case and ALWAYS turn blind eye to danzo wrongdoings just because he was old friend
Tobirama was a fool for picking him as hokage. He should point his uchiha student instead
Opps. Forgot. Senju hates uchiha to the core (at least Tobirama)
I always hate hiruzen and this chapter both confirmed and cemented my hatered
| Ryuu24 chapter 27 . 4/15/2022
I thought ger code name was Shiro, not Aoi
| Ryuu24 chapter 22 . 4/15/2022
Why? Why did you do this to me?!
My sweet sweet Yagura noooooo
He's my favorite jinchuriki after Gaara
You make me cry a waterfall
That scene when they said he just surrendered, and his resignation posture in prison
Those hurt me the most and tore my heart