Reviews for Virmire
DKLC chapter 7 . 5/14/2014
Wow. Great chapter. Very powerful.

Was that a love triangle on top of a love triangle? Shepard and Ashley both had a crush on Kaidan, but then I got the Shepley vibe by the way the two girls were touching and talking. But maybe that's just me ;-)

I loved the way you book-ended this chapter with the line "These women would be/were the death of him." Very nice.

I also liked how Kaidan's selfless gallantry won out over his panic and self-preservation. My preference for Ashley as a character aside, I usually sacrifice Kaidan for the very reason that I think such a true gentleman would never be able to fully come to terms with having a young woman die in his place. This was perfectly captured here.
DKLC chapter 6 . 5/14/2014
This was really clever. No specific Shepard, no specific sacrifice, no specific survivor. I lack the ability to write this subtly with no gender inferences, so this really impressed me.
DKLC chapter 5 . 4/14/2014
Wow, these are great. Nice to see the outside perspective with this one. A perfect insight into Dr Chakwas.

You really capture the emotions of the unfortunate decision so well. Although I have an absolute favourite between the two of them, the Virmire decision is never fun.

Thank you for sharing this. You're an excellent writer.
DKLC chapter 4 . 4/14/2014
THIS! "I don't make time, I make decisions." This right here, is renegade Shepard in all her technicolour glory. That is the best line EVER.

This was a very interesting, somewhat confronting read. The idea of a Willenko/Shenko love triangle, with Shepard taking out the rival via the Virmire decision, is very different and very cool. That would be an incredibly hard thing to admit, and although she didn't verbally, she kind of did with her passive aggressive condolences: "She was important to you. I understand." and "I'm sorry for your loss."

I really liked Shepard's wildly fluctuating behaviour. She went from flirty to furious to ice princess within a ten minute conversation, which goes to show that she is very much *not* alright with what happened, but isn't good at expressing herself.

Great chapter, I imagine this would've been a hard one to write, but you definitely did it justice.
DKLC chapter 3 . 4/14/2014
Nice to see Ashley make it this time. I loved the glimpse into Virmire from her perspective. Her courage and genuine willingness to sacrifice herself for the cause were marvellously captured.

The muted horror at waking and finding Kaidan gone - lovely.

I also really loved the relationship between her and Shepard. Her seeing Shepard as her hero, somebody that she wants to make proud, maybe even a pseudo big sister; very sweet.
DKLC chapter 2 . 4/14/2014
What a fantastic insight into the mind of a renegade Shepard. Him sizing the Williams sisters up, admitting to himself that once Ash had rejected his sexual advances he'd stopped bothering with getting to know her, and his logic that she was "expendable" - brilliant.

I absolutely loved the way you described her relationship with Tali. The only child and the natural big sister forge a bond, beautiful. Stuff like that makes me kick myself for not thinking of it first.
DKLC chapter 1 . 4/14/2014
Oh maaaaan. What a beautiful piece of writing. That last line was a total killer.

The imagery of Ash beating all those geth - only to be wiped out by the bomb - is so sad I think I might actually die of heart break.

"...witnessed the younger sisters breaking down while the eldest - the new eldest - was trying to keep it together..." It's lines like this that make a fic great. The concept that the entire hierarchy of a family has now been changed, every dynamic within it shifted, great work.
Hoplite39 chapter 4 . 11/13/2013
Yes, I am sure many Shepard, or at least the gamer, made the decision based primarily on who the liked or didn't like. I know I do, although I am more likely to keep Ash for that reason.
Hoplite39 chapter 3 . 11/13/2013
It was interesting that Ash would want to die a hero. Thinking about it that makes sense as she would want to redeem her family's honour after what happened with her father.

Also, you kept the suspense up well. It wasn't until three quarters of the way through that we know who survives.
Hoplite39 chapter 2 . 11/13/2013
Interesting to see a Shepard who is fallible. In this case he is awkward, cold, distant, impersonal and even selfish.
Hoplite39 chapter 1 . 11/13/2013
Very good tragic story of regret and self-doubt.
CN7 chapter 1 . 11/13/2013
That's so sad!
NarwhalWarlord chapter 4 . 11/12/2013
Nothing goes right when Renegades are involved.

Except punching Khalisah.

The rest, though...

Keep going!
Aithusa chapter 3 . 11/11/2013
Great work! It's well written and worded and plays on emotions really well! Love how you highlight their flaws and make them seem more human. Looking forward to seeing more. :)
NarwhalWarlord chapter 3 . 10/24/2013
This is awesome. Really. Well-written, thoughtful, and actually touching in the way. Keep writing!
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