|Reviews for If Tomorrow Never Comes|
| Kinglongoria chapter 26 . 12/18/2015
Ok so this is the last chapter for a bit. Kind of a mixed bag at this point. There were things I liked about the story and things I did not. I do think the second half of the story got away from you. Basically once Vegeta leaves for space it became a completely different story. To be honest I preferred the first half of the story where it was all about timelines and how much of it to follow to get the same outcome.
The second half of the story about long lost saiyans and universal empires is really not in tone with the rest of the story. And it kinda feels too confusing and cheesy for my taste. Too bad honest the long lost saiyans was a mistake to me. Sure finding his mother was cool. Maybe even her handmaiden. But thousands of saiyans is too many. It takes away from the story. If he had to discover a community I would have only made it a few dozen.
As for his mother's story arc. Well I think the who universal empire arc was silly as well. I get that it was supposed to add drama. But I really don't understand how it did. You took out a good main villain (Cooler). And basically made the Empire a peaceful one. Which is boring. As mentioned before if you wanted drama I would have turned the Cold Empire into a mock up of the Roman Empire. I would have had it break up into chaotic warring factions. Which is much more likely to happen in a power vacuum. And no I would not have had Cooler go after Vegeta or the Z gang in the civil war. But I would have and him fighting in the chaos for his right to the empire. So picture entire armies and navies engaging each other in huge land and space battles while Vegeta tries to navigate safely home. He has Bulma, his mother, and Ruby. And he has to get home while avoiding being noticed. That is the story I would have made.
| Kinglongoria chapter 25 . 12/18/2015
This is getting kinda of jumbled up at this point. Too Many things going on at once. Well Too many threats I should say. I'm of the mind that less is more when it comes to threats.
| Kinglongoria chapter 23 . 12/17/2015
Gotta say the whole Tauriel story has pretty much been too far out there for me. For one thing the Cold Family never ruled the Universe. Frieza only claimed to. It was an exaggeration. Another thing thing Cooler couldn't be stripped of any titles. That part makes no sense. From my understanding Frieza and Cooler ruled two different autonomous empires. And even if he had a mother who proclaimed him no longer a ruler. He would still have an army and lots of soldiers to follow him. So at best that would only cause a huge civil war. Which is not actually a bad idea. Still I find a reborn Saiyan Empire just a little to silly.
| Kinglongoria chapter 22 . 12/17/2015
I'm a little confused at why finding the Queen would make the Androids show up earlier. Why would anything that happens in space effect the timeline on Earth? Short of Vegeta not arriving on time anyway. That's about all I can think.
| Kinglongoria chapter 18 . 12/17/2015
I think this is getting a little out of hand with all the Saiyans. Having that many alive kinda takes away from Vegeta's character as the tragic prince. Plus it makes no sense that so many are still alive. A handful sure. I could believe that. Maybe even a few purging teams and their children. But this many seems not very realistic. Also isn't the Frieza race asexual? Like Nameks?
| Kinglongoria chapter 16 . 12/17/2015
So this part is kinda off. Well it doesn't fit the tone of your story. You are trying to keep as close as possible to canon at certain points and diverge from there. It just doesn't make sense for the Queen and another Saiyan to survive. Not saying it's a bad plot point. Just that unless the diverge from the canon timeline doesn't happen earlier it makes little sense. To be honest it's an interesting twist. And I'm curious to see what changes it will bring. However it's not without flaws.
| Kinglongoria chapter 7 . 12/17/2015
I see this is where the timeline splits more. Kind of like the Butterfly effect. You were going for small changes that ripple and become bigger changes later on. I am curious how far the timelines will diverge.
Also this chapter was hilarious. I honestly forgot about the countdown. And them saying their last words to each other as Frieza transformed.
| Kinglongoria chapter 5 . 12/17/2015
Added in a comfortably silent meal scene. Nice. Ok maybe it's not jaw dropping romance. But it's realistic. Too many fics go too fast with their feelings and romance. Having a nice quiet meal is actually most likely what would happen under the circumstances.
| Kinglongoria chapter 3 . 12/17/2015
Got a few spelling errors. Might want to think about doing a spell check and reposting the chapter. Otherwise it was a good chapter. I kinda wish it expanded more to third person. But I'm ok with it being in mostly Vegeta's POV.
| Kinglongoria chapter 2 . 12/17/2015
I have to say I was not expecting him to go back to Namek. Though it does drive you made thinking about time travel. Should he follow the original timeline or create another? I think his plan is the right one. Follow the original timeline as much as possible. I am not surprised you used SS3. It was the strongest form in DBZ at the time. Now it's god form. Which I gotta admit I like better.
| Emperor's Sister chapter 8 . 7/25/2015
Oi this is the exact same chapter as the last one!
| dragonDraw chapter 25 . 5/11/2015
awesome story i cant wait for more :3
| SaiyanPrince541 chapter 1 . 4/14/2015
Why the hell would Bulma kill herself that's jus stupid...
| Katieghost chapter 25 . 3/14/2015
Ha! I knew it was Turles and his minions! but why now? what changed in the timeline that made him arrive just before the androids? worst timing ever! Dx
also, what is with all this foreshadowing around Bulma and Vegeta?!
| Spellweaver10 chapter 14 . 3/11/2015
Great story. So interesting and unique. I like that they went to a trip together. It is a nice break from the original storyline. Who knows what adventures they will face.