|Reviews for Darkspawn Empire|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/14
| T.rex98 chapter 3 . 8/9
I certainly liked the piano move. It was freaking hilarious! Especially with the Hurlock bust! A little too cartoony for the story, though... But, let's not worry about one minor detail.
| DMD Hanafin chapter 3 . 8/7
The darkspawn are too similar to humans for my taste.
| thedarkwolf95 chapter 4 . 7/10
why does everyone spell demons "daemons" there is no a silent or otherwise
| AnthonyR89 chapter 10 . 5/24
i vote Hanar for Conrad. heh,
| AnthonyR89 chapter 7 . 5/24
nice tremors 2 reference.
| AnthonyR89 chapter 6 . 5/24
noticed an error in this chapter. it's Desolus Arterius. not Pallas
| Qinlongfei chapter 1 . 5/14
The idea for this story is interesting where all the other races on Thedas died out and sentient Darkspawn is left to inherit the world and eventually reaches an intergalactic level of civilization. While I'd be a hypocrite to not admit chuckling at some of the mirror reference Darkspawn has with human who lives on Earth, I can't help but feel the idea didn't reach its full potential here.
To try and elaborate on what I mean... while the audience POV specie is changed from Human to Darkspawn, this story itself feels very 'ME TOO!' in term of that genra of ME fanfic. You know, the alternate first contact story where Human kicks Turian ass, refuses to join the Citadel and generally acting as a bunch of insufferable self-righteous douche nozzles (and still follows ME's game plot to the letter). To be fair, consider Darkspawn's nature it comes off much natural for them to act that way (Come to think of it for what a bunch of twart we human tend to behave from history, it's pretty natural for us to be a bunch of insufferable self-righteous douche nozzles too if we were stronger than the citadel races but I digress).
That being said... I can't help but feel this whole story is a huge missed opportunity for this idea of Darkspawn in space. Consider they originate from Thedas and System Alliance originate from Earth, I can't help but wonder what a fresh and interesting idea it is if this story ends up having Darkspawn's first contact being System Alliance after first contact war. Just think about the idea of culture shock fascinate me: How would Darkspawn feels to find another specie from distant galaxy who looks exactly like their biggest saint in history, and how will System Alliance feel about knowing on another planet human also come into being but since then becomes extinct (although the Hurlock are kind of Human's distant cousins).
At times Darkspawn's action also comes of as inconsistant at times. Sometimes they act more empathetic, and other times they act pretty much as they are from DA games where they are essentially the bad guy except they aren't doing atrocities for no reason. I guess it can be said it's just the act of different individual in a species consider all of Darkspawn has becomes sentient, but at times it just feels like the individual's personality that appears on certain scene doesn't make the most logical sense except because the story wants to create some shock value. For the news interview for example, it feels like Citadel news got one of the most blunt Darkspawn who never heard of the concept of tact to appear on their show and it just makes me scratch my head if that's the only Darkspawn they manage to grab when the story clearly shows there are other Darkspawn individual who can give a more 'politically correct' version of their opinion.
That being said, not a bad story at all but it just feel too similar to virtually every ME fanfic of that genra. While I don't think this story is for me, it's a still a well written story and I hope you have fun making it.
| Akshka chapter 11 . 4/14
Very good also cheers on the idea of darkspawn becoming a civilisation
| airmailmrcool chapter 11 . 4/9
Fantastic. Cant wait for more.
| airmailmrcool chapter 3 . 4/8
Absolutely barbaric! Every second was a great point about the darkspawn's civilisation and fucking hilarious. Cant wait to read more.
| MeraHunt chapter 11 . 4/4
Can't wait for the next update!
| m-f42 chapter 10 . 3/27
I wish the mass effect fanfiction community would stop using the rigid framework of the games. I've been going through it for the past month or so and while the new setups and different first contact wars are mostly refreshing and different, after the citadel negotiations the promising start is then just shoe-horned into the game plots. I'll admit this story isn't the worst offender, you've switched out the beacon for something new, I wish the authors would give more thought to the butterfly effect. Sorry for griping, you are a fine writer, I was just wishing this would be the story to finally break the mold while retaining the "powerful humans"/"different first contact" aspects I've come to love.
| neodova chapter 11 . 3/27
Can't wait to see more!
| neodova chapter 1 . 3/25
Well... this is very interesting... Can't wait to read more!