|Reviews for The Merging|
| hash4uall chapter 3 . 9/29/2013
nice story.. looking forward to the next chapter...
| KongouBongo chapter 3 . 9/29/2013
Good chapter, like the story keep it coming
| KoniK47 chapter 3 . 9/29/2013
Hmm interesting story so far. It's not a completely original idea but it definitely is different. I enjoy the fact that you actually have good grammar and make your sentences flow nicely. Sometimes the paragraph structure is a bit off but it's easier to overlook than incorrect spelling and bad grammar. Plus it's not like this is an English class anyway.
I really like the story so far and hope to read more soon.
| Guest chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
There are too many mindless cliched gimmicks and tropes in this story.
Let's start with the trunk. We've read about the special gimmick...forever...so it gets OLD. But the real problem here is why do you introduce the gimmick? It has no visible meaning. Sure, buying a new trunk to store all his new books makes sense but doesn't require any further detail. But the trunk's main feature in stories is allowing him to train and live at the Dursleys. But now he is an adult, can do magic and isn't at the Dursleys anymore. Do you see the problem? It has no meaning. It's a pointless gimmick.
Then the custom wand thing. Does it elevate his wand over his old? Why? It's not a cool gimmick anymore because we've read about it since the dawn of time. The only way I can think of making it exciting again is Harry needing to find the material himself and not just select it in a shop. So it's just filling the story with boring cliches.
Another major issue was Harry taking Tonks with him and calling her Nym. Why? He had no real meaningful contact with her in this story because the OOTP canon meeting wasn't part of this story and you didn't show anything else. It was just a complete OC character in the context of your story.
And then the miserable trope with Daphne, Ice Princess Tracy. These characters have no meaning in canon and due to 99.9999% badly written Mary Sue versions of them I would declare both empty named characters to be burned beyond recognition. Why should they even interact with him and what does that really mean in the future? If you look at the situation of Slytherins, especially after Riddle returned, they would never interact "openly" with Harry because it could brand them as traitors and mean problems to them and their families. It's not cunning to do so.
They would only interact with him "openly" when they have nothing to loose anymore which they do in school. They might interact with him "secretly" if there's a mutual gain/goal/bond which requires a *believable* hook. Just meeting them in public and interacting does not work for me because it's inherently dangerous that this gets leaked. It's no anonymous society. See the problem?
| Cherrie-san chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
I can't wait for him to figure out just how much that 'suppression potion' has probably eff-ed up his magic. Harry is going to be so ticked off.
I have to love the rebel streak Harry has going though... what is next? A pet snake? Tattoo maybe?
| Lightningblade49 chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
Lol he picked pretty much what potion he's taking without knowing it when he finds I really don't know the reaction.
With how Poor Harry feels he's doing with his magic I have big doughts on a DA forming unless Harry get's close to his best again and he's now got possibly the best place traina group of would be magic users.
If he has the space in the trunk it would be perfect have them meet at some point and enter the trunk then shrink it and go into the Gryffindor common room. even if umbridge found the Trunk she wouldn't be able to get in and if Harry exit's solo he can explain he's training in his Trunk which isn't illegal and she wouldn't be able to enter the Trunk since it's private Property.
Girls wise I like Tonks as well,Katie Bell is an option as well as the two for mentioned Slytherins.
How much better will harry be at Quidittiich now that he can actually see and is a bit fitter physically.
| Lord worth chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
i have a question how will he train like aurors if he performs magic like first year?
| coldblue chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
I loved the idea of the Dementors and Harry changing attitude/training/wands.
I hope Harry is above average in the Occulumency to block against Voldemort who is a Master at Legilimency. Who knows? Maybe Voldemort could push Harry to become better at Occulumency than most people. Maybe.
I kind a hope that Harry does study some dark/grey magic like Legilimency for interrogation purposes and control "Fiend Frye" to add a powerful Dark spell to his set to destroy other Horcrux's with that spell.
I can't wait to see where pairing is going. It possible it could be Harry/girl/girl in this fic or so. Just not too much or at least develop Harry with some girl. I don't care for OC female characters.
Keep up the good work.
| Bored-sama chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
| shadowkat678 chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
Yay Tonks, ya, I already read all three but forgot to review because I was so caught up, so I'm reviewing all three chapters one after another (THEY ARE ALL FANTASIC)
I LOVE Sirius, Remus, and Tonks! Those are some of my fav's along with Hermione and Snape (I know, Snape, but I just always go for the sad backstories! I'm a sucker for those things, hook, line, and sinker!)
Can't wait to hear back, btw, I will start betaing this before you say yes just because
A) I'm board
B) It's just fun to do!
| shadowkat678 chapter 2 . 9/28/2013
okay, just realized you updated three chapters, in like, two days! Wow!
also, some stuff I forgot to mention in last review: I love the long chapters, love the little bits of humor thrown in, and love the A/N's as I'm weird and just like to read those things
also, about that beta thing, I am also a great idea bouncer and am checking my mail about every hour or so if I'm not in school and sometimes even there if there is Wi-Fi (I'm addicted to fanfic, can you tell?)
And I love how you refer to them as cannon sharks, I've dealt with a few of them myself!
| LittleFaeChild chapter 3 . 9/28/2013
Is it a Harry/Tonks pairing?
| shadowkat678 chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
I would love to beta this fic! I'm not really into the whole cussing every few sentences thing but I think I can look over it for this! I am not a official beta but I do a lot for friends
If you want to check out my work it's all on my file. Really, I would love to! I am really good with punctuation and am on pretty much every single day
I love description and in depth fics with deep and original plots, and this seems like one of them! and I love AU's!
I am not using periods in this review since there is a glitch that needs to be fixed where every word before one gets deleted, cause that sucks! So you need a beta I'm your girl!
| semaxx3 chapter 2 . 9/28/2013
| FFlossia chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
like it very much! keep going))))