|Reviews for The King's Son|
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/9
Update, update, update, update, I know you read these, so you better update
| Guest chapter 9 . 6/10
I absolutely love your writing style! Please continue to write! Best fanfic I've ever read!
| ShiroHana14 chapter 9 . 2/7
Love this fanfiction, though I get the sinking feeling that it isn't updating anymore. Thanks for showing Owen some love! )
| LadyMustard chapter 9 . 11/26/2014
I love reading your story! I always thought it was funny how close the Harvest King and Owen look alike, so it's cool reading it from the prospective that he's the Harvest King's son. Keep up the awesome work! )
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 9 . 11/26/2014
So it looks like Ignis forgave Owen for asking about whether he loved Emily, seeing as how Owen has been visiting his father regularly for lessons on controlling himself. It still leaves me wondering about the relationship between Ignis and Emily, though how much of their story you choose to share in this fic is up to you, since the focus is on Owen’s relationship with his father.
On another note, Chloe is really cute, cooking dinner like that; I love the younger sister – older brother type relationship between her and Owen, even though they’re technically cousins.
Interesting chapter! And I don’t mind the short chapters much, personally, as long as there’s something going on. I don’t really know what the deal was with that bird, but you seem to have something in mind, so I’ll just have to wait for an update and find out!
- Cotton Candy Mareep
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 8 . 11/24/2014
No need to apologize for the wait, I think everyone is going through the same deal on fanfiction, haha. And I'll definitely stick with your story, whenever you happen to update!
In regard to this chapter, I thought you did a great job writing the interaction between Owen and the Harvest King. You can really tell that Owen is his son, especially when it comes to their shared quick tempers. The Harvest King's bit about the alcohol was pretty funny, and the part about Owen's mother was very interesting, too. But, while very informative, this chapter exposed us to even more mysteries at the same time... So there are people after the Harvest King and his land? And why did the Harvest King react so drastically to Owen's question? All I can say is, I'm really hoping you'll delve deeper into these aspects in future chapters!
Nice chapter, I look forward to reading more! And Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!
- Cotton Candy Mareep
| Aerois chapter 7 . 7/22/2014
I was wrong.
When I first read this, I thought you were just another immature, angry fan girl looking to bash the rival for the sake of her chosen ship. And I thought this story would be another overly dramatic, badly written fic rife with cliches just like honestly most HM fics are. But knowing that you're willing to work with criticism, that you had an actual plan with "slutty Kathy", and that you're willing to apologize maturely about it, I can see that your story isn't like that at all. So now, it's my turn to apologize too. I'm sorry that I judged your story so harshly. I still stand by my belief that perhaps it was a bit much, but I was wrong to jump to conclusions.
I'm also pleasantly surprised to see you capture the character's personalities so well! Especially Owen and Ignis. I love Owen's air of disbelief, and I love how you aren't rushing his relationship with Ignis. I really can't wait to see more of this! Also, the ring and Owen's powers are both wonderful additions that make great logical sense as well. Everything is really impressive so far. Keep at it!
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 7 . 7/20/2014
I can understand why Owen hasn’t talked to Molly in a while; he must still be embarrassed about what happened between him and Gill. Not that he cares about offending Gill, but he surely must have felt like a fool in front of Molly when it’s her boyfriend that he attacked (though I can’t blame him for doing so, when Gill provoked him like that). But I’m glad they finally got to talk in this chapter, and that Molly actually agrees with him! Even she can't deny that Gill was behaving like a jerk.
Also, I have a feeling that Owen not only doesn’t have the time or extra energy to make himself an upgraded hammer, but he also doesn’t even need one in the first place. Since he’s half god, his strength and skill might make him naturally much better at mining than the average person, if that makes sense. And I love how Owen would much rather forge a special hammer for Chloe as a gift to her than spend those materials on himself; it shows how much he cares for her.
-Cotton Candy Mareep
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 6 . 7/20/2014
Nice chapter! I liked the conversation between Owen and Ramsey, just because I like reading about family relationships. And as much as I feel bad for Owen and the temper he inherited from the Harvest King, I find Gill in this story to be pretty hilarious. He’s just such a huge conceited jerk, I have to laugh at him. I enjoy reading about the whole rivalry and resentment between him and Owen.
I like the story so far, and I applaud you for continuing to write despite the negative criticisms you’ve received and for acknowledging the issue. I agree that Kathy's characterization was a little over the top in the second chapter, but the story has definitely improved since then. And, after all, you also portray Gill in a very negative light, which I don't really have a problem with, as long as it's done realistically.
-Cotton Candy Mareep
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 5 . 6/13/2014
Wow… what an entrance, haha.
But seriously, I liked how the Harvest King introduced himself to Owen. It’s just as I would expect him to… and I also think you kept him very nicely in-character for the entire scene. The way he drops the fact that Owen is his son is so unemotional and matter-of-fact, without any hesitation, which was exactly how I would imagine him to reveal it. And I like how you mention how the Harvest King has no concept of time in regard to the lives of humans, since it makes sense with him being an immortal god and all, one who doesn’t seem to be directly involved in human affairs for the most part.
Also, I love the detail about Owen never getting burned, even when working at a hot forge nearly all his life. Fire resistance is an ability I would definitely expect from the son of Ignis, as well as the above average strength.
Nice job on this chapter!
-Cotton Candy Mareep
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/5/2014
Love it! Very well written, extremely intriguing, character depth and originality can't wait to read more :)
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 4 . 12/14/2013
This was a good chapter! I thought all the preparation and activity for Chloe's birthday party was great, especially since I love the familial relationship between Owen and Chloe. Her reaction to his birthday gift was priceless.
I like the little shout out to Cam in Tale of Two Towns there. I like imagining most of the Harvest Moon games taking place in the same world, so that was a nice little thing to add in.
Haha, Gill’s gift to Chloe was rather hilarious. I actually don't mind his personality in this, he's still very proper and a bit cold to everyone. Though I hate how he treats Molly, she deserves better.
I don't blame Owen for getting angry at Gill, either, because Gill was being an insufferable hypocrite, and his smug little comments were uncalled for. But still, Owen must get his red-hot temper from the Harvest King.
Also, I have a bad feeling about the scarf Molly was wearing, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s nothing. It's just a weird thing to mention out of the blue unless there's some deeper meaning behind it.
Anyway, nice chapter! And sorry it took me a little while to leave my review, I read the chapter earlier but didn't get chance to write anything about it. I liked this one a lot, and I can't wait to see what happens between Owen and the Harvest King!
-Cotton Candy Mareep
| RedMerchant chapter 4 . 12/9/2013
Oh, my :o
I agree with the other two reviewers that taking the low road with Kathy's flirtiness may not be the best. But, as they say, your story, your rules ;)
The story is a very interesting idea, though. I mean, it makes sense that Harvest King would be his father.
Ah, Gill. I'm actually not criticizing for his cold attitude, because he is a jerk in the game. I could see him giving Chloe something like that just to spite Owen lolol and his attitude also makes sense because of the rivalry between him and Owen. Gill displays some possessive behavior in-game so it makes sense.
I'm assuming Owen will end up with Molly, which is totally adorable QwQ
Keep up the good work!
| Cotton Candy Mareep chapter 3 . 11/16/2013
So I read your story so far, and I think it’s pretty good, with a great original idea. I especially like that you chose to write from the point of view of someone other than one of the main female farmer protagonists- they already have so many fanfics written from their viewpoint, and choosing to write with Owen as the main character makes your story a lot more unique. I never would have imagined Owen as the Harvest King’s son myself, but now I can definitely see it! He must have gotten his metalworking skills and a fiery temper from his father. In fact, their faces even look kind of similar. And I like the relationship between Molly and Owen, it’s cute and realistic, and quite obvious that Molly would be much better off with Owen than with Gill in this particular fanfic.
Kathy is written in a very negative light in this story, which kind of bothers me since I do like her character. Especially since Selena dresses just as revealing and dances for a living in canon, but isn’t treated the same way in your fic (though it is a nice change to see Selena respected rather than bashed- I like that part a lot). I can honestly see where the other reviewer is coming from, so perhaps you could tone it down a little bit so your characterization of Kathy doesn’t come across as explicit character-bashing. Make her into something a bit more than just an annoying slut. Like, she can definitely be provocative, but just not quite so painfully obvious about it. I’d probably take out the parts that outright say she’s a slut, and write her as a bit more sly with her teasing and flirting. The panty thing may have been a little excessive, to be honest.
Many people get angry when they think a character is being unfairly treated in a negative way. But don’t take the criticism too harshly- every writer gets it at some point or another, so you shouldn’t let it keep you from writing. I personally do think you should continue the story, since the issue discussed doesn’t have to be the main focus of the story anyway, and shouldn’t be. Once you go into more detail on the story behind the Harvest King and Owen, Kathy’s character may very well take a backseat. And I'm guessing you’ll be developing the relationship between Owen and Molly more in future chapters, right? Because they seem like they would make a cute couple! I like how Owen was the one who introduced Molly to mining.
I’d also like to see where the Harvest King starts to fit into this story, because that premise sounds very interesting!
-Cotton Candy Mareep
| Aerois chapter 3 . 11/9/2013
At first, I loved this story. The idea of Owen being the half human son of the Harvest God is definitely unique, and intriguing. I would have loved to see how Owen and Ignis learned to interact with one another, how their relationship would have gone, and how Owen would deal with the new knowledge of his true origins.
But I lost all hope in that once I saw how you portrayed Kathy. Look, I realize that even though it's Harvest moon, these people are adults, so they could reasonably be portrayed as a bit more crude and less innocent than how they are in game. But to characterize Kathy as nothing more than, in your own words, a slut? The kind of girl who would walk around flashing her genitals at some guy just to get his attention? And POLE DANCING?! Hell, I'm not even a fan of Kathy's- to me, she's just kind of there in the game. So don't go thinking I'm some die hard Kathy fan who can't stand you bashing their favorite character. I like her about as much as I'd like Simon or Pascal. I know she dresses a bit provocatively, but so does Selena, and even she's just flirty at best. Skimpy clothes does not always a skank make.
When you portray Kathy in the way that you do, all you're doing is crucifying her for the sake of the plot (whatever that may be). Almost as though, just because you don't like her, you write her off as a complete and utter whore just so that everyone else can hate her as much as you do.
It's not mature, it's not ethical, and it's not good writing. I seriously hope you consider not doing that in the future.