|Reviews for kito magic|
| Da-Tenshi Setsu chapter 15 . 6/8/2014
I hope Kitomi will defeat Yuuki
| Shmeagle chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
I really don't like giving people negative reviews, but I think this could benifit you. I've read through all 15 chapters (all that is available so far) and I must say that your grammar is letting your story down; normally a bit of bad grammar doesn't bother me all that much and can be overlooked if the story is good enough, but in this case it made the story nearly unreadable :( I couldn't understand who was talking or who was fighting at all. Also, the pacing was pretty off, though this could have been as a result of the grammar and me not understanding what was happening, as it seemed everyone was advancing through the plot way too quickly; I never had time to feel the characters pain and struggles, they were just kind of brushed over and resolved very quickly.
If you want, I'd be happy to look through your story with you and correct some grammatical mistakes as well as pointing out chinks in the plot :)
| Panda chapter 2 . 5/21/2014
Hun, nothing makes sense in your writing.
From one writer to another I can strongly relate to how boring the editing process can be. However, we cannot ignore the basics of grammar and punctuation as they are vital tools in communicating to our audience. It is because of this that I strongly advise for you to rewrite your piece of fiction. Start from the beginning and develop a strong and understandable plot line, and (if I were you) go back and develop your characters. Writing is fun, but to master an art you must also put work into your practice to become better.
I hope you take my advice and start fresh.
| wakarimasen lol chapter 1 . 1/25/2014
| Finnismathmatical chapter 13 . 12/24/2013
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 12 . 12/4/2013
I hope Kitomi will wake up soon, coz the situation ain't lookin' good
| RainbowJack891 chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
Asdfghjkl I love the intro! Great job! You might need to check your spelling a bit though! Good job nonetheless!
| VoyeurTheNinja chapter 11 . 10/30/2013
What is the point of this chapter?
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 11 . 10/30/2013
Poor Kyubey. You know you can short his name into QB, don't you?
| gay chapter 1 . 10/24/2013
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 10 . 10/25/2013
So, the newebie is Toru, wonder what might happen next
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 9 . 10/25/2013
Huh uh, I hope the girls can fight off that mysterious girl
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 8 . 10/25/2013
Wonder who that is
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 7 . 10/25/2013
| Da-Tenshi Setsuna chapter 6 . 10/25/2013
That's bad, wonder what next will happen