|Reviews for Mass Effect - Future Imperfect|
| Two-Eyed Charlie chapter 75 . 3/8
Ah, and here we go. This is unexpected but excellent: a sort social apartheid, paranoia, the fate of Archangel hanging in the balance - I really like this turn. Like, seriously - the story just took off on the intense scale like a rocket leaving orbit.
Short review but I like, I like a lot.
| Two-Eyed Charlie chapter 74 . 3/8
Figured I should leave a review here - make sure you know I'm still reading (life is chaos and all that).
Part of me thinks the dream-sequences have some sort of significance beyond just being, you know, dreams. And not in a Freudian way either - I'll wait to see just how dead Shepard actually is in your story. Theories to be adjusted at a later date, of course. I'm usually not a huge fan of dream-sequences relating to some sort of loss or revealing things in the plot or, well, how they're usually presented in stories (speaking as someone who's written them before, of course), so I'll be honest and say I was tempted to skip most of those parts. But - and it's a testament to how small things can have a big impact - I liked how Shepard was constantly described as being...not all there, in the dreams. Fake, almost - a facsimile that Garrus still clung to out of desperation. That's partially why I wonder if there's more to Shepard's current state than being alive or dead, but regardless it's a nice detail that makes the dreams less corny. And it does add an extra layer to Garrus refusing to let things go, living with imperfect memories, that sort of thing. If you keep digging into that, there's some interesting character-based roads to explore (he says to the author who has, as of this reading, already written another 100 chapters).
I'll say this for the beginning of Act 2: I know something bad is going to happen to Archangel and I'm absolutely dreading it. That's the best kind of narrative tension you can get, so a big props for that.
Aaaaand that's about it. Things are slower at this point, and god do I miss your Shepard, but you're setting a lot of plot elements in motion, and it's leaving me excited. I am hoping for some more character-heavy interactions to come soon, but that's the nice thing about coming into a story late - I can keep reading ahead until I find them.
| MosaicCreme chapter 152 . 3/5
"And where did I come in?" he asked. Mandibles flicking in a smile when she scoffed, he shrugged. "Hey, this is all supposed to be about me, isn't it?" He coaxed her hand to his mouth, warming it with his breath as he nuzzled her knuckles. - *gigglesnort*
I have to admit, she handled him snapping at her far better than I would've. I'm just not that patient, I guess (something that comes as zero surprise to me). This was a really peaceful—despite the snapping and the angst—moment between the two of them and it makes me happy to read. I love that they both held something back, a moment of darkness, and that both of those moments were somehow about the other one. Her story here about did me in, though. My heart ached for her.
| MosaicCreme chapter 151 . 3/5
"Your shuttle sits just inside the outer edge of the Cynosure, and we are moving at ten kilometres per minute."
Ten kilometres a second? - Oops!
"You'll know I got paid very well." - BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. God I love these turians.
"Not bad news, Shepard-Captain, as I take this action according to my will." I? Had the geth just called themselves I? A soft chattering sound rattled from Legion's emitters. It took a moment for realization to creep through the thick blanket of surprise and confusion … that sound … it was laughter. - *SQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
"I must remain here and interface with the Cynosure. We will transmit the velleity field from upgraded geth to upgraded geth, forming a web to protect the chiastyllia." Legion's head flaps fluttered, light and airy in a way that translated as joy. "My specialized hardware will allow me to form the central transmitter." - NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Tali made a soft sound of either wonder or sorrow, pulling Shepard around to face the quarian. She stood with her hand pressed to the chia covering Legion's chest. "We were supposed to settle Rannoch together," Tali said, her voice almost too soft to carry. - *sniffles*
I mean, the selfless part of me is super happy for Legion and the chia (but mostly Legion), but the selfish part of me is cursing you for giving him something so beautiful and then a second later taking him out of the picture at least on a more empresent/em level. *sobs* But, I love the connections Shepard made to herself and her growth to Legion and the Chia's evolution. Beautiful chapter, just truly beautiful. And, Al!
| MosaicCreme chapter 150 . 3/5
"Adjusting contrast now, Shepard. You'll be more useful slaves with your sight intact." - I was planning on just reading through the chapter w/o a play by play so I can move through it quicker, but damn it, I love EDI to pieces.
Okay, so all the stuff in the first section is awesome and all, buuutttt omg this last section with just her and Nihlus melted me. He's really kinda perfect in a lot of ways, this older, wiser, softer version of him. His whole speech here, everything he said was just so dead on and perfect. I loved it!
| Baron von Ghostface chapter 41 . 2/22
If you break Garrus' heart I may never forgive you.
| Two-Eyed Charlie chapter 67 . 2/12
I'll leave my review on this chapter due to the fact that the Quarian-Geth tribute might just top the first scene with the Rachni Queen for most heart-wrenchlingly beautiful moment of the story. Y'know, as opposed to just the heart-wrenching parts which, jeez, ouch, why do you make us hurt?
I knew Jenkins wasn't going to make it - foreshadowing and all that - but you did him proud: the different effects and reactions to his death, all the different angles, they really help hammer in the emotion of the whole thing. And as much as it hurt to see him go down...well...I'm really thrilled that both Kaidan and Ashley are alive. I mean, I love everyone on the ship, but if either of those two went the way of the canon universe, I don't know if I'd be able to keep reading (that and, from a tone perspective, it would've probably written you into a corner; It would've become a very dark and decidedly unsnarky fic after a death like that).
'Course, then you decide to incorporate the beginning twist of Mass Effect 2 in a way that hit me like a collapsing building, so thanks for that. I've never mourned a Shepard before, but I sure as hell felt her death. That was...that was a hell of a cliffhanger right there, emphasis on the 'hanging over an abyss' part.
And you went in a slightly different direction with the Council, but I'm happy they survived only because you've turned the into something truly dangerous. I applaud that, even if I kinda want Cerberus to resurrect Lee Harvey Oswald while they're at it.
And I guess one final comment on your character-work: I love how Tali is developing here. She's become the remarkable person from the third game in a short amount of time, but you've put her through the necessary paces very well and added your own spins to make her that much more complex. All your characters are great, again - and the more Anderson you include, the better - but Tali's development in particular is really something else.
This has been a particularly enjoyable AU - the "For Want of A Nail" aspect being focused on something so small, something personal and close to the heart of the lead and main supporting character, has let this idea spin off into truly unique territory. You're balancing humour, drama, and even horror very well without letting one aspect overwhelm the others, and that's an impressive feat.
Anyways, I'll stop yammering and get back to reading. Looking forward to seeing what's around the corner, even if I'd really prefer the entire crew just take a trip to an uncharted system and wait for a few thousand years. But hey, that's some good tension right there.
| Two-Eyed Charlie chapter 42 . 2/11
I know I'm commenting very sporadically, to which I apologize (though, with enough reviews to populate a town in Saskatchewan, I figure I'm not making that much of a dent anyways), but I definitely felt the need to say that the scene with the rachni queen was beautiful. There was a lot of emotion there - enough to get my eyes a bit watery. Considering how this universe manages to be filled with three times as much hell as the canon universe, that was very nice to read.
Other than that, my previous comments stand: the twists are excellent and have me excited, all the characters in your story are complex and intensely likable (well, except for the characters that are intensely unlikable, but a mutant hybrid of Ed Gein and Ted Bundy doesn't breed much sympathy), and the dialogue is still top notch - I can both hear the voice actors say their lines and also wish that their voice actors said these lines at the same time, which is an impressive feat.
But I really do have to emphasize your good character work: it's fantastic, and the fact that it's driving the story makes it even better. That you've managed to work the revealing, character-building moments into the text in ways that keep the pace of the story up and don't limit the juicy bits to static conversations is a feat to be proud of, for sure.
Seriously, I smile every time Kaidan speaks. I used to think that was as easy to do as raising an island out of the Pacific.
I look forward to reading more (please don't judge that I've read an entire novel's worth of words in the span of a day; all of my neglected work is doing that for me just fine, thank you), and I also look forward to having my paranoia vis-à-vis the council ended in some definitive way. I have a feeling I know where that thread is going, but either way, I like how you've incorporated them into this - they're a lot less comically stupid and a lot more "All The President's Men," if you know what I mean.
| Two-Eyed Charlie chapter 2 . 2/9
I normally don't review stories unless the person writing it is a friend of mine, so please take this as a sign of how much I'm enjoying this so far. It's going to be a lone-haul (one million words...good god, and I thought "Ulysses" was long), but I'm excited to see how the differences snow-ball into something unique.
But more than that, the first two chapters have had some truly fantastic character work; your Shepard in particular is thoroughly fascinating. A well defined mask and a well defined interior personality working with and against one another always makes for a terrific character study, and I have to say, it's something I really don't see much in fanfics-at least not as well as you've done so far. You also have some of the best dialogue I've read in a fanfic-up to an including some Daria fanfics that, by necessity, also have really excellent dialogue-and it's made the characters all that more enjoyable to read. Especially since the first Mass Effect game might've been a bit lacking for good dialogue in a few places (but that's just me).
So, yeah-long story short, these were an excellent two chapters I just read. Not sure if you're continuing, but either way, I look forward to reading more!
| JIMNEWS chapter 1 . 2/6
God fucking bless this fic.
| MosaicCreme chapter 149 . 1/30
A soft smiled teased - Smile
fellow geth cause Legion - Caused
Things on Ploba light prove very exciting indeed. - Might
Either way, exciting. - *gigglesnort*
Shepard's fear eased back without disappearing entirely as she looked to Tali and shook her head. A smile eased its way across her lips when the quarian just chuckled and shrugged. "Damn, I hate getting my own words thrown back at me." - Lmfao, don't we all?
I'm excited to see this new geth/chia entity in all of it's glory. And yay, Tali and Kal might be tying the knot! *squee*
| MosaicCreme chapter 148 . 1/30
light yeas beyond - missing your r
Miranda hesitates for another second - slipped into present tense
Lowering her arm from its grip on his armour, she ran a thumb over the delicate bracelet wrapped around her wrist. "I just remembered … I have a husband." - D'aww.
I'm looking forward to seeing how this new, tentative alliance with the protheans goes. I feel like there should've been a bit more from Merol and Tashac when they saw their daughter, but it's lovely that she's one of the survivors. Hopefully Miranda doesn't much it up :D I really hope the people who made their way into the base and were kept there are going to be okay and returned home.
| MosaicCreme chapter 147 . 1/30
Oddly enough, no matter how hard she tried to convince Garrus and Nihlus that she was fine, the fountain of blood pouring down her chin had made them somewhat intransigent on the whole 'seeing the doc and getting some sleep' issue. - How very odd, indeed :D
"Sweet baby Jesus, if I stand here any longer, I'm going to grow roots and turn into the glowing tree of the Enkindlers' blessed firmament. Then, once every six years, the hanar will festoon my branches with flower garlands and gather around me to dance and throw small, shucked clams and half-eaten minnows at one another." She shuddered. "Well, at least, until someone accidentally starts the mating rituals, then things will get crazy … and nobody wants that." - Lmfao.
Merol and Tashac imparting a self of familiarity - Do you mean sense of familiarity?
Ohhh, very interesting twist, and yay! More protheans! I'm sure Javik will love this.
| MosaicCreme chapter 146 . 1/13
Spirits, in action hero mode, Shepard was hotter than any being had a right to be. - *gigglesnort*
Refusing to check a gift rifle's firing pin - :D that's great.
Billions of tiny voices that hadn't stopped crying out in their agony for millions of cycles. - :'( nuuuuu.
Inside, frozen colonists stood, knelt, and sprawled, amber and black-smoke statuary standing vigil over the Collector dead. - Ohhhh, what a great line!
"Yes, a vehicle designed to render a system helpless and cut off. Three of them together can destroy every form of resistance on a planet with a single command." - Yikes!
*Shakes a fist at the suzerain*
There's a part of me that wonders if the reapers did figure out how to obtain a soul, if they wouldn't just turn around and destroy themselves coming to fully feel the weight of their monstrous actions. Yikes, poor Ashley ...
| MosaicCreme chapter 145 . 1/13
Garrus stuck his head out an upstairs door. "I think you'd better let me take that," he called down. - *gigglesnort* Of course he does.
... she just needed to kill the ones in front of her, and keep doing it until she'd cleaned the galaxy of every last one. - Yep, that about sums it up.
"Can't wreak bloody doom with no charge." - LMFAO.
Dun dun dun! Nice cliffhanger ending! :D Can't wait to see what happens with the suzerain.