|Reviews for The Forgotten Life|
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 38 . 11/2
You wrote Adachi really well in this chapter! I don't like him that much in canon, but he's way more likeable in here. And it's cool that you're adding in a new character, and it's even better that they're apparently related to Midori. It's fun learning about his family members. c:
And I did notice a couple tiny mistakes (like putting 29th July, instead of July 29th, and God Hand instead of God's Hand), but they aren't major! Good job!
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 37 . 9/10
That scene with Minako gave me so many feels. ;n; Especially when Theo and Shinji were mentioned. Ouch. Minako's lines and all were fun to read though~
And I hope you have fun writing the next chapter too. Sounds like it'll be dramatic with Nanako being in danger again. o.o
| dragongodslayer7 chapter 7 . 9/7
Is gogo a person a you made on your own?
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 36 . 7/19
I loved the scene with Misaki and Joe in here~ They're pretty good characters. :3 And also, I only found one mistake in here, in the second paragraph. It's just a tiny one. There should be a space between 'had' and 'made'.
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 35 . 4/12
Ooh, good luck with fixing the Yosuke, Chie, and Yukiko thing. :o I didn't even notice it.
Also I love Midori's mom in this. I forgot how awesome she was.
And the reality marble thing was a little confusing in the chapter itself but thanks for explaining it at the end! :3
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 34 . 2/12
This chapter was really fun to read And dramatic at the end with Yosuke and his shadow too. And it was nice to hear from Minimido again. xP Maybe you should consider having him appear more, if the mood is right and all.
(On a side note: Have you seen the Persona 5 gameplay trailer yet? I'm really excited for it now)
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 33 . 12/14/2014
I love this chapter, the way you wrote Teddie was great. :} I agree with what you said about him being underrated. There's a lot more to him than just comic relief, and you made good use of everything. Like his loyalty to whole monologue(or whatever it's called xP) really hit me hard. ono
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 32 . 11/11/2014
It's been a while, hehe. (I really need to re-read this whole fic sometime too, wow)
Anyway, the battles are pretty good to me I liked how you described Yosuke and Teddie when everyone found them, with all the injuries. It sounded really nice (well, not nice for them, but you know what I mean xP)
And also, when Shinjiro thought, 'You sacrificed yourself for us...and there are still people doing something stupid...', was he thinking of Minako? She's in this fic instead of Minato, right? (Like I said, I need to re-read a few previous chapters. XD)
But you're really improving on this fic. :3 It makes me happy not sure what else to say to fix. Except the last sentence..
"So...anyone have an excuse idea for our kidnapped colleagues?"
Maybe you need to take out "idea"?
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 31 . 9/3/2014
I actually really liked the magic explanations in this. C: I could really see them existing in the Persona universe.
I do think repeatedly addressing Midori as The Fool was a little much though. You could use physical features too, I think.
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 30 . 8/4/2014
Keiko in this chapter really got some nice focus. :) And the spar between her and young Midori was really easy to follow and all. A couple more descriptions about her and Midori, like their builds and hair and eye colors would've been good, but it's already great without those! :3
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 29 . 7/27/2014
I liked the scene with Naoto and Rise best. :3 It's nice when you show some of the characters from the investigation team interacting with each other like that. And I'm looking forward to more after how this chapter ended. And having someone beta-read it really helped! I just noticed one typo in all this. XD
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 28 . 7/13/2014
Haha, I really liked the way everyone interacted in this It was really fun and smooth to read. :) I was kinda unsure about the whole situation in the beginning with Midori and Adachi, but I got it later on. Might just be because it's kinda late over here for me. XP
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 27 . 7/5/2014
I like the backstory you gave Adachi in this. :) And the dynamic between him and Midori is also entertaining. Same with Ken. I did have some trouble figuring out who was saying what during the scenes with them though. But I'm looking forward to more. :3
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 26 . 6/27/2014
Aww, that was sweet between Yosuke and Chie. :') A nice interlude from the main story. I saw some grammar errors, but it's really not bad at all. I liked how you captured Yosuke in this, too.
| MellaTheKnightmare chapter 25 . 6/23/2014
Hey again. :) I'm really liking the romance between Midori and Naoto. It's really cute, and you write them both well. Same with Yosuke and Chie. It'd be nice to see a bit more of the P3 cast though. :3