|Reviews for Pokemon: The Dark Chronicles|
| 1MR Gray chapter 39 . 8/31
Interesting chapter, not quite as exciting as last, but I think things will be getting intense soon with Dexter's plan going into play... Which also happens to be before Night and Pyro get released. Huh, either they're going to help out a lot with Dawn, or make things much worse than before since they were about to get released. I'll be looking forward to that part, I hope you'll add the Steel vs Night/Dawn/Pyro again, I remember that being one of my favorite battles in the old version. I can see how it could be left out in this version though, but we'll see I guess.
Also the help of genericgamer207 is noticeable. Before I noticed frequent typos that got passed up, but this time around I only spotted one or maybe two. Glad he's nice enough to help you _
Next we have Claire's POV... I have to say, Claire is quite arrogant. While I understand the importance of saving Ace, I don't get how in the Hell she planned to take down the entire Resistance on her own. And shame on the Resistance as well for being so easy to infiltrate, I mean isn't this like Claire's third time? And I'm sure it won't be the last time they're invaded like that either. The end of Claire's POV is what surprised me. I anticipated that Talia would be shot down, I just didn't expect her to be taken down by a throwing knife... Kudos to whomever threw it, but poor Talia. This also gave us a good chance to see more of Claire's soft side, and we get to see that Claire isn't unbeatable. Good job on that part.
Next we see Steel's POV, not really anything to important there, other than us seeing that Dawn is getting a bit cocky. I fear for Dawn honestly, I feel like her wanting this power is going to lead her to her downfall. But that's just a guess, but I'd put money on it.
Also, I don't know why, but when Steel was saying something I just thought of him saying this "Those tremors you felt earlier, she was going super Saiyan." Don't ask why, but I just immediately thought of that when I read that line XD.
What do I think of Claire? I think Claire is a good person, she just puts on a tough girl act 95% of the time. Her character is very enjoyable.
Well that's all I have to say for this chapter. really entertaining chapter, and it leaves me wondering how the next chapter will play out. Great job on this chapter Heck, keep up the awesome work. good job to you as well Genericgamer207.
| 1MR Gray chapter 38 . 8/10
I'll have to write this review on my phone, since I won't be near my computer for a while. So my apologies if it's a little more sloppy than usual.
I'll start by answering your question, since Void really interests me. I have a few guesses, but it's hard to support them when you mix Dawn and Ruby in the equation. So, I was thinking, at one point you mentioned Darkrai had another that was like Dawn. Well, it'd possible that Void is what's left of that pokemon, maybe she went to far into the dark and that's what's left of her, a shadow that serves darkrai and is possibly linked to him. Although, when Void calls Ruby a theif and then starts saying the stuff she did, it makes me think that Void was supposed to have a different like than what she got, maybe a birthright or maybe she has something to do with the pokemon that were screwed over by Dawn. That's all I got on that, i'll be sure to share my thoughts as more info is revealed. All in all, Void seems interesting.
Now onto some other things, which involve Void. I'm expecting this character to be important in dome way, i mean she did get the opening lines in this story. What surprised me this chapter is Void's personality. It's very fickle. One moment she is a ball of anger, then she's rather depressed and defensive. Night also seemed to hit her soft spot. I was expecting Void to be a lot more different, but she seems more like a victim of something sad and she's very insecure about it (like when Night tried to learn about her). Good job with her though.
The rest of the chapter was just as interesting. We got to see Ruby face Void again, which Void then choses to say something nice for Night. Then later we see Ace's POV. I think you're on a better route on what you did with the trainers vs the old version (weren't they like burned or something?) i felt a bit worried for Ace, but I think Claire will bail him out. If not God help him. I at least hope Crystal will make it through this.
Anyways, typing this on my phone is tiring out my thimbs lol, so i'ma end my review here. Good job on everything, including the fast update speed, this chapter was very good!
| StarlitUmbreon chapter 38 . 8/10
Wow this story is really getting good. You keep me on my toes with some of the suspense. I love it. It's not often that I find a story like this that doesn't have to do with a trainer's story of their journey, or a mystery dungeon type thing. It's a new concept to me to do a story from the point of view from the Pokemon of the trainer on the journey. It's interesting. Also, White was somewhat of an interesting reveal when you announced he was a Mawile. I'm still really curious about the shiny Umbreon master though, being the Umbreon lover I am. That being said though, Night is not my favorite character. He is too cocky and confident to me, even if it is a show. No, actually Dexter is my favorite character. His attitude at the moment towards other Pokemon is kind. He wants to help get Night and the other Pokemon back, even if it is for different reasons other than him being a teammate. He seems to not know a lot of love or forgiveness in his life, considering he was surprised both times when someone forgave him and was still his friend when instead, they could have alienated him. Also, his blue eyes are very peculiar for an Espeon. It makes me wonder who his family was. But I imagine that actually seeing Dexter and his blue eyes would make me love him immediately. Also, the mention of Crystal and Dexter together is a big ship for me. They would be cute together.
Another thing, you mentioned that you wanted a beta reader? I wouldn't mind helping if you wanted. I understand if someone got to you before I did. Oh well. I still love the story though! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| survive9 chapter 38 . 8/7
Keep these updates coming! The story's plot is very good, and use of words and punctuation is great too. I think that Void is possibly a past underling of Darkrai that has died or was reincarnated into a spirit of some sort.
| 1MR Gray chapter 37 . 8/4
Oh boy, you updated much faster than usual, but to make everything better, it's a great chapter that left me excited for the next one (More than usual).
Heh, this does feel like a longer chapter than usual, and I liked it like that, you covered a lot of interesting material. I'm glad to see that things are about to get heated in this story. Of course the day Night gets out is the Day Dex is going to make his move :/
I wasn't sure about Claire's scene when I saw the POV, I was worried it'd be boring, but it wasn't. Actually, I found it interesting. While it doesn't really add a lot to the Asylum stuff, it provided a few pieces of info I found interesting, one of the big ones would be that Claire wants Ace to join her team. That one actually surprised me. And Tailia was an interesting character. While I doubt she's to important to the story, her character was established pretty fast. Pff, wish I could get paid five times my salary just to tag along with someone in a club. Also, I got a good laugh when Zain busted Claire. It created a very awkward moment, it's just to bad Ace didn't get saved :/
I think most of the interesting content of this chapter was in Night's POV. You surprised me with White's reveal. Not only did I not expect you to reveal him so quickly, I didn't expect his species either. Still, I don't recall many Mawile in stories, so I don't mind. When White brings Night to Dawn was when the chapter started getting really good. Seems Dawn may have gotten a bit too much power from Darkrai...
Who is my favorite character? Jeez that's a toughie... Honestly, I like the majority of all your characters, there are those I love, then those I like. I don't really dislike any of your characters, so that's a good thing... To be honest I'ma just go with Night. Usually I like to know more backstory before making these choices, but for now I think I like him the most (bonus points cus he's a umbreon XD). My next two favorites are probably Fern (She seems interesting (More bonus points for being a eeveelution)). And my last would prob be Pyro, or maybe Dawn, them two are tied. Well, hopefully that info helps you in some way. Great chapter, keep up the hard work.
| StarlitUmbreon chapter 36 . 7/30
Interesting story so far. I just found this and it seems pretty fascinating. I'm curious about this White character, as well as the master shiny Umbreon. I'll make sure to keep up to date on this one. Update soon.
| 1MR Gray chapter 36 . 7/29
Hmmm, interesting chapter. I liked this one, so good job. Ace's POV was pretty good, I liked the talk he had with Blake (I think that was the buizel). I think Blake is telling the truth and he really doesn't know, so something is up with Zain, this isn't adding up. I'm surprised Ace went to sleep so easily as well, I have enough trouble sleeping in my bed at night, no way I'd fall asleep ties up to a chair in my enemies base... Also, when the machoke and scyther walked in, I thought they were going to get even with Ace.
Also, I kinda noticed a contradiction that made my head turn. Ace mentions how the idea of his trainer leaving and really hating them lingered in his head. Yet, in that exact paragraph at the beginning he say's he knows his trainer cared for him like family... Not trying to be nitpicky, but those two things don't flow well together. Maybe try building more towards why he'd think that, instead of him just doing a 90 degree turn in his view of his trainer. Other then that I don't see any major problems in this chapter.
And damn... would you look at Dawn, she's getting fresh with Darkrai! It's interesting how her personality is changing, it makes me wonder if Darkrai is doing it or not, despite him saying otherwise. Also, some info in Aqua's POV interested me. The mention of Night looking for his brother is interesting. It makes me wonder what kind of person his brother was, and why Night would want to find him. We also got some more info on White, who seems to be a shiny umbreon. So their are six, and we know Napoleon, Pyro, Claire, and I think Fern is one as well. I'd even consider including Zain, but I don't have much to back that one up with other than him having a background with fern.
And lastly we get to see Napoleon. I'll admit, you caught me off guard with his species, even though you told me you were switching his species, a braixen kinda caught me by surprise, but not in a bad way. I'm sure I've said this before, but I was never a fan of his character and Scarlet in the original Dark Chronicles :/ So hopefully you'll convince me to think differently in this version. I think you'll do fine, I mean you've done great to this point.
Anyways, this was a good chapter over all, it kept me interested and brought up some questions I'm curious to see answered. Well, keep up the good work and good luck _
| 1MR Gray chapter 35 . 7/19
I ended up reading this chapter a few days after it came out, but didn't have time to review, from there I just kept forgetting, but I'm here now. I have to say though, you wrote quite a interesting chapter, this one came out pretty well.
So things start off with Cresselia, sapphire and Dawn. I find it surprising that sapphire has anything to do with the Legendaries, but I'm interested to see where you'll take that. Cresselia seems like a decent person, personality wise. Even though her and Darkrai aren't on good terms, she still didn't hold that against Dawn since she's of Darkrai. And with Dawn being changed without knowing is pretty interesting, not gonna lie, you got me excited to see where this is going. Heh, you also got a decent laugh out of me when Cresselia was like "Those are nouns" when Dawn mentioned her friends. Even though it should have been obvious to her, it can be forgiven since I got a small laugh out of it :)
As for the interrogation for Night and Pyro? Well, it brought up some concerns for me actually. I'm not 100% sure on the importance of this White character, so I'll let you show us that later, but it seems that Night and Pyro were captured over something very minor. I can maybe understand Pyro, but the only thing Night was asked was how well he knew Fern... Seems like something they could have easily found out with some simple observations, or maybe just asked the guy before kidnapping him and stuff (I'm assuming there is something big with her that'll make sense of that). Also, I feel like Pyro may have done some mercenary work for all those teams lol, although I could be wrong on that, although I don't know how any of that was important to ask. Anyways, I look forward to seeing the importance of these questions, my only concern is that they may have gone to a unnecessary extreme to get answers that aren't that important. I hope that makes sense.
Anyways, those were the two parts I found important, overall this was a good read and written pretty well. Good luck on your next chapter, I'm excited to see where you take things from here :)
| Keldabe chapter 34 . 6/20
No question? Review time: there is a number of missed words in the first part of the chapter that I feel should be fixed. As for the first part its nice to get to see more of what Zain can really do. looking forward to it. As for the asylum stuff I honestly thought the escape plan was two fold. So I'm really surprised they just well got wrecked. And with the rocket-resistant deal, I am so surprised ace let a freaking Machoke sneak up on him. and got captured. Now I can just imagine Zain finding out about it and walking up to Ace and just face palming "ahhhhh. What did you do? I went threw all this trouble of giving you back your trainers and you go and get captured." I still do like ace but he is freaking deaf. you should probably add that to his bio :D. And the final part, All I can say is nuu dawn don't do it she just wants to stop you from going super sayin. And the whole Darkrie-Crecelia lore kinda hints that she wants you gone.
| 1MR Gray chapter 34 . 6/19
Alrighty, just got done with this chapter and it seemed pretty interesting. Not going to lie, I'm starting to wish their was a recap at the beginning, with the long breaks between chapters I kinda forget some of the smaller things :/ But it was nothing I didn't remember after reading a bit.
I have to say, you caught me off guard with Steel's POV. The lucario seems interesting, I'd be interested in seeing a bit more of him. One thing I did notice in Crystal's POV is that Dexter just seems to show up for the sake of showing up. Unless I missed something he literally stopped by to say hi and left. Maybe that was your intention, but seemed a bit pointless in a way, other than the hint that Claire seems to remember something about him or something like that. That's just my opinion though, nothing really worth worrying about, but I figured I'd bring it up. Also, I'd also like to note how surprised I am with Claire's personality... she seems like a really cool person once you get past her personality. I just remember in the old DC she was just kinda that antagonist you could care less about. So it's nice to see myself more invested in her character than before, so good job on that.
And it seems Ace tried being a good guy and watching over Claire... Yeah, well that didn't work well. I'm a bit curious how they all snuck up on him like that, it's almost as if they were waiting on the roof for him ;D Or I'm pretty sure the scene was on a roof... If not please disregard that XD. But yeah, Ace is in trouble and it's at the worst time too. I do wonder what Clair and Zain are chatting about, I doubt he wants to just catch up with her.
You also got me interested with Dawn in a new way. I was already baited by the hints of her backstory, but now she has Legendary blood? That is a concept I've always loved, so I'm curious to see how you use it in your story. You also mentioned that Dawn was paid for whatever she did. hmm, I think I get it now, or if not I at least got a cool idea of what happened. So basically I still think Dawn sold out her friends. Which would include Razor's sister and I think Ruby's mom (I think she was mentioned) getting screwed over. Perhaps they were kidnapped or killed. More importantly, I think Dawn did all that to help her mother (Again I think that was mentioned, sorry it has been so long since I've read those chapters :/). So I'm thinking her mother was either sick and needed money or maybe she owed Team Rocket some money. I just figured I'd throw that guess out, because you know, why not. Jeez, I hope I remembered everything properly XD
Anyhoo, I think I've covered everything I wanted to cover. This chapter provided some really good entertainment. I'm still excited to see this arc get into the juicy stuff, I'm hoping it's soon though, feels like it has been a week in the story yet I think it has been only been two days? Keep up the good work Heck and thanks for writing this story for our entertainment.
| 1MR Gray chapter 33 . 5/19
Yeah I meant to read this chapter a lot earlier, but I've just been busy with school and stuff. Heh, either way I'm here now, so let's get to it.
I love your fight at the beginning of the chapter. It was... different, yet humorous. You actually got me to chuckle from how messed up Night's head was. He was extremely out of character when he was brainwashed with attract, it was funny. Just the image of Night being like that is cringe worthy lol. Then Pyro gets hit by it... or not. You had me there for a sec, clever way for him to get a hit in. While everyone may have gotten served in the fight, it was a good try on their half.
The rest of the chapter was just pretty much setting the stage for something bigger. I'm looking forward to a finale in this arc, because honestly I'm more interested to see the stuff that happens after the original Dark Chronicles. But I guess I'll have to wait :/
Now I'm sure you're already ahead of me on this, but I hope that everyone isn't going to attempt this on their own... I'm just saying I hope the Resistance gets in on this, I feel like together they'd have a chance to win. If not then the Asylum is a poorly secured place.
Anyways, I don't really have much more to say on this chapter other than you did a good job with characters and the chapter was entertaining, yet short. Well I look forward to your next chapter as usual.
| Suneyes chapter 33 . 5/10
So...I'm an old reviewer (Duststar1). I had to make another account because I forgot the password to the last one and school has really taken a toll on me. But now I can review again (yay)! Warning: This review will be pretty long.
I'm going to have to say that I like this version of Dexter and Claire better. In the old one, I started off hating Dexter, but in this one, he interests me a lot with his curiosity and ambition. It's pretty much the same with Claire. Yes, she's a psychopath, but she isn't too...out there (Well, not yet anyways). I also like how Night is a bit nicer.
As for Ruby (sigh), same old girl. I do like her, don't get me wrong, but I really do hope she works out her problems before she gets seriously hurt. I know that I'd probably still be angry if I were in her shoes, but going around picking with Team Rocket isn't the best idea...
Onto the Resistance. I honestly view them as the Pokémon version of Team Plasma, only they might actually care about the Pokémon. Because of this, I feel like I trust Team Rocket more than them, and I'm currently cheering for Ace and Crystal to get their trainers back. Although, Team Rocket might still be more evil...
My favorite characters in the Asylum are Night and Pyro. Pyro intrigues me for some odd reason, but I'm not sure why...
Last but not least, this chapter. I personally think that Athena's plan was too hotheaded. She should have at least gotten more Pokémon for the job. Sapphire irritates me to no end, but oddly enough, the rest of her little squad interests me. I hope we learn more about them (eventually).
So...that is my review. Continue writing Heck. I really enjoy this story!
| Keldabe chapter 32 . 4/22
I must ask how does one remove a human from a Tyranitar. that's got to be like ripping threw a 400 pound steel chain. Smokescreen and fire wont even really effect her... anyway, once again I enjoyed the chapter and hope to see more soon. Athena really needs to learn how to pick opponents better. Getting hard countered isn't the best escape plan, but it is her plan lets see what she has up her sleeve. As for the other stuff those galactics have some massive egos, even though its unlikely I hope Night Pyro and Dawn can at least put sapphire in her place, I mean its an Umbreon so instant win right? Crystal is about to lose it and Zain is making deals with rockets. The legends are still MIA but surly they will appear soon.
| 1MR Gray chapter 32 . 4/21
Alrighty, finally finished reading this chapter. I ended up starting it last week, but then I never picked it back up until today.
So, some interesting things are happening now in the Asylum, but I get the feeling that the escape will be a failure. I am a bit surprised though, escaping doesn't seem that hard honestly... You'd think if they had all this stuff they'd at least get a decent security system or a way to keep the pokemon from breaking out. At least buy a freaking camera system or something lol. Not that this bothers me to much, I just thought it was funny when I thought about it. Which also, I forget why these pokemon are being contained in the asylum, I also forget whether you told us in the story yet or not.
Things on Crystal's end also seem to be spiking my interest. It seems Zain has her pretty good. I'm just trying to imagine a zorua with a jacket, an off image in my opinion. I do hope Crystal is reunited with her trainers, but something tells me that it won't be as simple as Crystal listening and then she lives happily ever after with her trainers, the world of drama would never allow something that simple. That's just my 2 cents though.
Anyways, this was a good chapter and you usually do a good job at making me look forward to future chapters. good work and keep it up!
| Keldabe chapter 31 . 4/1
Yup long wait is long. lets see the resistance got the short end of the stick. Got tortured : no revenge. Go to find someone who has been kidnaped : someone else gets kidnaped. And send one of their most important members out on a mission : failed do to a friend helping the enemy. But that's ok, I still don't like them very much. as for rocket and galactic. don't like galactic just because all the mind control and capture stuff, but thanks to Claire I'm really starting to like the rockets minus Crystal but all that aside looking forward to the next chapter. I want to see what you do with a rampaging Tyranitar. ;)