|Reviews for The Best Laid Plans|
| MasterAyaka chapter 1 . 4/22
I... I want to know more about this different universe! You should flesh it out, it has such great potential!
| Faraway-R chapter 1 . 9/20/2014
I really like how "of course" seems to be the go-to phrase for Weiss' characterization in this one.
| growlscout chapter 1 . 4/18/2014
I have fallen in love with this Agents of Beacon AU :-) This plan of Ruby's just seems so, her. She wanted to just talk him down, but then... sigh. And then Weiss, having to clean up after her partner the dolt. ;-) Very good story. Thanks!
| JaDe In NighT chapter 1 . 4/7/2014
Very interesting and enjoyable to read :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/1/2014
Its pretty good , good job
| PML7 chapter 1 . 12/4/2013
| kage15oni chapter 1 . 10/31/2013
Oh, so you did. sorry didnt see that.
| kage15oni chapter 1 . 10/31/2013
Nice. Very nice. If this is a one shot, please make another for blake and yang
| Farmer Kyle chapter 1 . 10/26/2013
Found this after reading Mozco's fic in the same setting. Very nice!
| Tear of Light chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
This was a wonderful one shot. I love the extra details you put into this, about the Yuki onna, about how Weiss was part of that and such. I could also picture the fight scene with great detail. Thanks for writing this piece! :)
| TweekinTinkaToy chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
I think this should continue! Interesting ideas...
| Iron-Mantis chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
| DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
Nice work! It's an entertaining AU, with the basic elements introduced. The main difference with canon, thematically, appears to be that what the Beacon agents hunt here include sentient monsters, ones that can think and feel, rather than just mindless creatures, which adds an extra emotional "kick" to the hunting over and above the risk to life and limb (and on the other end, the fact that you doubled up on it by making Weiss the same species as the target). Otherwise, it seems that the characters are slightly older (in that they're being actively sent on field missions and have worked together for a while, rather than being students starting their training). I do miss Ruby's scythe, since it's such an iconic part of her appearance (plus, y'know, Rule of Cool), but scythes are rarely fun in a bar fight unless you're writing comedy about how the point's getting stuck in stuff.
The story itself was very fun, with a dangerous bad guy, two different exciting fights, and unexpected (because, this being an AU, we're not familiar with the characters' powers and skills) results. I'm left wanting to see and know more about the AU, which is a strong selling point.
Probably the strongest point, though, was the characters. In any AU story, it's vitally important to keep the characters *as* the characters, since otherwise the question is why to write the story in the first place? Here, Ruby and Weiss's dialogue voices are utterly perfect; it's extremely easy to hear their VAs reciting the lines, and that helps to really set the scene and make it feel like we're really looking at Ruby and Weiss and not just OCs in Ruby/Weiss suits. Likewise, Ruby's plan feels very..."Ruby-esque," you might say; it's wild, over-the-top, and runs largely on Rule of Cool. The closeness between them feels nice; they're clearly closer than in canon but, again, they've clearly been together as partners for a while to let that develop, an example of letting the characteristics of the AU develop the characters differently but in compliance with who they are.
One spelling note: "yuki-onna" is generally written as a hyphenated word in English. It feels very jarring to see it as two separate words throughout the story.
The one thing I don't like about this story is the fact that it's complete in and of itself! It feels very much like a "teaser" sequence (like Moczo's latest original piece), by which the characters are introduced with a short, complete scenario that gives the audience a taste of their powers and personalities, together with some basic setting information that lets the readers at least have their feet under them. So in essence, the story's written, leaves me wanting more, and that little "complete" tag means that there won't necessarily BE any more! Ack, you tease!
(That said, I think a Blake/Yang chapter might be a bit premature. Weiss and Ruby have had a lot of interactions and personality in-show, but most of Blake's personality has been speculation and while Yang's character is a little more developed her underlying personality, what's important to her, etc., is not. It's hard to show proper AU development (though I think doing Yang's "voice" could be done well) when the character herself isn't well-adapted. Jaune/Pyrrha or even Nora/Ren (though again, while Nora and Ren have clearly defined surface characters we know very little about their hopes, dreams, goals, fears, weaknesses, etc.) would make a better choice. Although, it's possible that a short chapter like this one would work all right without tripping over any of the flaws, still some of what makes this short good is the emotional link between Ruby and Weiss and the clear friendship between them, the way they care about each other (like Ruby blowing up the bar specifically because she knew that Anderson was tough and required overkill, all to spare Weiss the pain of having to put down one of her own), which is one of your strong suits as a writer. Maybe if the next couple of RWBY episodes give us a little more on Blake and/or Yang it'll provide the details you need to give us something similarly good to this! In any case, I'm definitely interested in seeing more of the AU as you develop the setting.)
| SanguisAnima chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
After having read THIS? You seriously HAVE to do a Blake/Yang version.
When would that come out? XD
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/6/2013
Excellent, I really enjoyed this! The one complaint I've got is an issue a lot of AU stories seem to have: you need to lay out the rules of you AU better. To be fair, you do a pretty good job of it, but I'm still not entirely clear on one or two things. Primarily, timing. Ruby's taller, and they're agents, so I'm guessing its set in the future, but how far? Also, it took me until almost the end to figure it out, since that's where you first mention that Weiss is shorter than Ruby. It caused me a bit of a problem with picturing them, since I'd been imagining them looking the same as in the show, but that's clearly not the case.