|Reviews for Hallucinations|
| Bahoogasmif chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
Hey Necronal! Very sad piece here before the end, but it was touching. You have some grammar and spelling to go through and fix to make this even better, but forgetting those the descriptions on her feelings are very well done. I would also suggest adding a little more to when shepard enters as well. Make it clear just how long it was since the crucible fired, maybe add in how he got there and that he healed. But this was a nice read and with a bit of elbow grease could be wonderful!
Yours in service,
| Lady Amiee chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
Thought doesn't need speech marks if it's italicized. Also comma, if adding 'she thought'
Spaces before and After ellipses . . . like this. Or if it's trailing off . . ..
"Tali" She froze. "aren't you even going to say hi?" Should be "Tali." She froze. "Aren't you even going to say hi?"
The here he is that same lob-sided smile in front of her . . .. It reads like the lob-sided smile is in front of her, not the person.
Very sad and touching, lovely clean prose, well described and flowing. You have some great word use too, nothing too Representative, so well done for that. Really enjoyed this!
| 1054SS325MP chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
Well Damn, this is a great chapter. I know that because I want to read more. Please continue this, at least for a few chapters. I think perhaps having it be real, as opposed to a hallucination, might be a bit too early. You could draw the reunion out a bit...
| Way of the Sheikah chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
A nice take on post-ME3, and for once I didn't find myself questioning how Shepard survived or how he got there (if he really was there, which is what makes this piece unique). Excellent work!
| wind slasher chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
well this made me cry. great story
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
Daww... Tali fluff! ;D My favorite!
There were a few minor spelling errors, but ultimately you've given us a nice little scene. And I also like the fact you don't tell us if it's a hallucination or not at the end, keeps it even more interesting!
Looking forward to future stories :D