Reviews for What We're Fighting For |
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![]() ![]() This was grim. Having hermione take advantage of Harry’s ignorance to live out some perverted fantasy was very against her character. She knew that A, he didn’t know how to express his feelings and B, that he couldn’t really risk losing her so that she had leeway to misbehave (which she did , humiliating Harry by ditching him for cormac) Confrontation could of been done in many other ways , Susan taking Harry and Harry witnessing the kiss would of been better storytelling, Harry pivoting his interest to other love interests (at least short term) would also have been better storytelling - Harry forgiving hermione for betraying him and taking advantage of his ignorance straight away is just forced and unsatisfactory I actually left this chapter hoping for Harry to end up with a reformed lavender rather than a hermione drunk on Harry’s power Awful chapter - I’d recommend editing - the very least remove the kiss and Harry being a needy cuckhold |
![]() ![]() ![]() You have captivated me again with your amazing storytelling! I never wanted this to end! ️️️️ |
![]() ![]() ![]() That was, without question, the most unsatisfying final confrontation I have ever read in Harry Potter fanfiction. I knew this was going to be rushed, but that? That was just bad. Really bad. As in, so bad that I have the impression you never gave a shit about the conflict and only wanted to focus on teenage angst all this time. I was led to believe by earlier chapters it would be a mixture of both. I think I'm going to forget the final chapter and move elsewhere. It doesn't feel worth it because the payoff and conclusion have not been earned whatsoever by these characters. Farewell. |
![]() ![]() ![]() "That just leaves the serpent, and the evil butt muncher himself." Sirius sighed." For fuck's sake. Why are you trying to drive this story off a cliff all of a sudden? |
![]() ![]() ![]() "Which is clearly how Wormtail and his merry band of butt nibblers got in." Remus observed." Are you serious with this dialogue? It's just embarrassing. Far below the standards you've set with this story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() great story |
![]() ![]() ![]() So, because she wouldn't listen, Hermione caused Ron's death. And she's so stubborn she'll never acknowledge that |
![]() ![]() ![]() "bludgeour" This is a typo that I've noticed several times in this story. The correct spelling is "bludger", unless we're going to try and claim the thing is somehow French. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Doldesnort? I like that one! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Look, the story as a whole has been good so far, but this chapter was really, really bad. It was so far beneath the standards you've already set that I'm kind of astounded you kept it in without major edits. The "will they, won't they?" dance has become extremely irritating and it needs to stop after everything that happened in this chapter, or else the story will have officially jumped the shark in my eyes. This chapter has all the major romantic clichés, like a major character going out with someone other than the person they actually like for no good reason, that date treating them like shit, an argument between love interests that is easily avoidable, a kiss that was interrupted in the most trite manner conceivable, and intelligence levels dropping through the floor (Hermione suddenly doesn't understand that Harry might be jealous? The man isn't a psychopath. He can feel emotions. He just doesn't understand them because his guardians are neglectful scum.). I get that they're teenagers and I've enjoyed the slow growth of their relationship up to this point, but I think it went too far with this chapter. I'm crossing my fingers that this was just a blip and that you don't double down on it moving forward. |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is the one thing that surprises me in your story. If he’s Had the horcrux removed, then why does he still have the ugly scar? |
![]() ![]() ![]() this book would actually be good if he wasn't so emotionally stunted |
![]() ![]() ![]() i honestly don't know what's worse. Harry growing up like a soldier with no idea how to interact with people especially girls or being abused by his aunt and uncle. if i had to choose I'd choose to be abused at least then I'd have emotions |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hermione is right; Sirius is a prick. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Aaaand this was so predictable back when Dumbdumb intervened in Draco X Harry duel. Obviously he would attack his loved one. Except she wouldn't be killed because we don't have 10chapters left to be filled with angst. |