|Reviews for What We're Fighting For|
| Markjmcmurray chapter 28 . 9/16
I must say, I LOVED this fantastic piece of art that you wrote. I have read Many HP fanfiction stories! But I do believe this is one of my very favorite...
What else have you got?
| RoyaldragonSevgisi15 chapter 28 . 9/12
SOOOOOOOO BEAUTIFUL! JUST ADORABLEEEEEEEE! I LOVED IT SOOOOO VERY MUCH! WELL DONE! THANK YOUUUU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE! IT WAS SIMPLY BREATHTAKING!
| homey145 chapter 28 . 8/23
this was very good thoroughly enjoyed it, i have every intention of coming back to re read it again at some point
| BerserkLittleCook chapter 12 . 8/22
I do not approve of Hermione's choice either. I can't believe she chose the idiot. I mean, why? She knows the only reason other guys notice her is Harry having avenged her, made her special in the school's eyes. And she knows the idiot is an idiot. So why?
| BerserkLittleCook chapter 8 . 8/22
I like the story well enough, it shows a stunted psyche in a fleshed out way. I just wanted to point out a stylistic detail:
You don't have to write 'Hermione' in every other sentence. It's only needed sometimes to tell the reader who's who after a switch, like a dialogue or mentioning someone else. You, the author, tend to start two sentences side by side with a character's name. It's unnecessary and simply replacing it with he/she would make it flow better and disguise that you use the same sentence structure in consequent sentences, since he/she are 'invisible' words
| MouseTheGrey chapter 28 . 8/16
I usually make it my priority to write at least a small review at the end. Hell yeah. To be honest I am not sure what to write. I started searching for military!Harry few days ago. I did not expect to find THIS. To find a freaking mercenary badass Harry, who literary is a Soldier through and through. Wow. I LOVED it. I appreciated the most that you didn't actually make him all knowing, unfeeling machine. Your unprecedently good written confusion about real life? It was soooo believable, it was not too much but not too little as well. I was taken into it as I am a bit weird in real life situations, this was like some of my real life experiences.
Also, your writing style? Amazing. Just briliant. It was easy to read, you never lingered anywhere where it wasn't necessary, the flow was exactly as it should be. I even didn't mind some little OOC behavior, it just worked so well in this. The whole story just works fantastically as a complex.
And the battle of Hogwarts? Your describing style was marvelous to read - I almost never got lost and I could imagine it perfectly, what else I can say? The same applies to the rest of the text, from simple dinner eating, through sex to fighting. Also your variety of characters while staying in Potter-verse, using the existing ones is a BIG plus.
I mean there are 100 things I could describe as perfect. There is only 1 or 2 that i could point out as not 100%.
The 1st is occasional mistake - usually spelling. From what I remember it was eg. their instead of the're, use/us, she/he, his/him... 99% this sort of thing, nothing big. Sometimes it was the quotation marks, sometimes missing while sometimes extra, where they should not be. Again, nothing big, it just made it a bit difficult to know who said that and if it was aloud or not etc.
Then I also caught that you repeated yourself. Can't exactly remember where it was, sorry. But I will make up an example for you to understand what I mean - in one paragraph you describe that eg. "Hermione has a nice clothes." And than a chapter later you use the same phrasing again in the same manner. But that's just a detail for a beta reader, I don't think anyone would really catch that. And it happened in all those thousands of words just like 3 (?) times? Nothing big to worry about.
The 2nd thing is about me being spoiled by good writes like you. You described loads of stuff, you used many characters and situations. But as I said, I am rather spoiled so I missed a bit more of morning training with the students, some more remarks about details you used (like the necklace from Harry, Nevilles new wand, who killed Nagini, things like these... you know what I mean?), maybe a bit more of the aftermath of the battle... I did enjoy those little flashbacks in other situations. I probably miss a bit more of those. Haha.
To close this up - this one will probably find a place among others on my shelf. Because it was a long, well-written, elaborate, no-nonsense story full of great moments. Very well done! Thank you very much! ️
| evilfuzzyman chapter 12 . 7/28
you don't go on dates with other people if you're already dating a person
| K chapter 28 . 7/25
A brilliant tale. Again, so much imagination.
| Deonne chapter 28 . 7/11
I’ve fallen into a HP FFN hole and I don’t seem to care. This was amazing, I loved each chapter and how the story unfolded.
| LAB1 chapter 28 . 6/30
This was a very origional story. Harry was so sheltered and nieve. And was raised to be a Sociopath, but a good Sociopath? With how much of the wizarding world lost it would have made sense for families to have had more children. I'd have loved to see an outtake of Uncle Serius with 3 young children!
| brady66 chapter 27 . 6/23
I actually feel bad for Ron! Because Hermione has to not follow directions and always be right, he’s dead. She couldn’t even bother to stay with his body…just left Lav to fend for herself.
Glad Harry, Neville and Sirius are safe.
| DarkBan chapter 28 . 6/15
Hey author, took me two damn days to finish this story, but i just couldn't put it down, loved every second of it, you made an amaing work. Thanks for the good times :)
| kcrump88 chapter 28 . 6/2
A wonderful story and I truly enjoyed it. Well done!
| ImpendingDoomWithMayonnaise chapter 28 . 6/2
I was hooked when I read the first half of the story. There was not so much rambling and you got on with the plot but it got bad. You ramble A LOT. Especially when you write Hermiones POV there is a lot of rambling and repetition. I always skipped straight to the dialogues.
You could have dealt better with the flashbacks. It got quite confusing also because you hop from one POV to another. You need to learn to structure your chapters and plan them out first.
That slumber party scene was completely obsolete way too long and just took away space from the plot.
Also please use a spell check and freshen up your grammar.
The premise of your story is great but the story itself could have been way better. On a positive note I really liked how you wrote Harry. It was an interesting take and I would have loved more from his POV.
| Sujeeth chapter 28 . 5/28
Beautiful, just like every other fics of yours:)