|Reviews for Teammates|
| chuchu-shushu chapter 1 . 1/10
Preface: I understand this is an older story, written with light care as opposed to the kind a bigger piece would be given. Thus if my comments feel frivolous or needless, I apologize in advance. I'm still not sure how to properly give a review!
Positives: Yang showing Cardin what for is always nice. Sewing Ruby and Weiss into the action by having them handle the wasps was also a nice touch and cleanly planted the title as being well picked in my mind, only to be further cemented as it continued. The RWBY interactions in general were fun and wonderful!
Negative: I get Ruby and Weiss may not have fully grasped the situation, especially given Ruby asked Yang for details, so my next comment doesn't concern them. I simply found myself a bit disconcerted no one had ran for Blake. It felt like someone should have heard her cry out, and checked on her, a nearby team or something. It didn't take me out of the story though, so it's mostly a nitpicky minor gripe.
P.S., the joke about losing Weiss in a white room had me in stitches.
| DaleJr.88 chapter 1 . 8/6/2017
I think Cardin's team got what they deserved. To me, I never was really fond of bullies/a bully team. So any time Team CDRL gets whooped, it makes me excited.
Don't be too hard on yourself, I think you did a good job with the story. I also thought that the ending wasn't rushed too fast, but was just right.
| Mew Shadowfang chapter 1 . 1/22/2017
I say Yang should've put a few more dents in their heads. Seriously. They deserve it. and yeah, Yang is the ultimate revenge machine, whether through a prank, pun, or solid beating, she's always there to give people what's coming to them.
| Dragon and Sword Master chapter 1 . 1/6/2017
Who would have thought something as simple as having Yang kick Cardin's ass and his team turn into something like this? Still it was cool all the same
| PastellRain chapter 1 . 6/23/2016
Aww, Blake is so lucky to have such caring teammates~ I understand her shyness/reservedness because I'm a lot like her as well, which was why the ending was really sweet to me. Blake has family now. Those girls are like her family~
And I love how Yang would bite those guys' heads off to defend Blake. She may have anger issues, but she uses her anger correctly and she's also super-caring!
| LastOrder chapter 1 . 5/29/2016
Serves him right!
| Kung-fu Blaziken chapter 1 . 2/10/2016
| Sir Swag A Lot chapter 1 . 1/28/2016
Up to the fluffy stuff at the end, the story looks like that would be exactly what happens in this hypothetical scenario. (Jaune will have to get his moment later.)
| EndlessChains chapter 1 . 12/31/2015
A well done story. A different take on the episode was done nicely. The description of the whole event was well done and the feelings that Yang expressed was done nicely with how she reacted and felt. Team CRDL definitely got what was coming to them that was for sure. The ending was endearing with how the team bonded. Thank you. Keep up the good work.
| P.T. Piranha chapter 1 . 1/3/2015
You know how in comedic fiction, a character would throw an object off-screen, and you'd hear a cat reacting to it in pain? The classic "off-screen cat gets hit" joke? I like to imagine that she made that sound when the jar hit her.
Okay just wanted to get that out of the way. Based on the story's events and the little author's note at the start, it seems like you wrote this just so you could have someone yelling at Cardin. Indulgent writing isn't bad in and of itself, but it can lead you into some pitfalls, so be careful.
That aside, it still reads pretty well, and it fits canon to a degree. Just like Pyrrha, Blake also took a shot at him during that lecture (which I presume was the reason for the whole "jar revenge" thing) so suspension of disbelief isn't harmed. I can see this story actually happening, to an extent.
And of course there's the feelgood underlying theme of friendship and teamwork and all that. It sounds like the heartwarming stuff was unintended and just sort of happened as you wrote it. I think that adds to the story's strength, otherwise it'd just be a shallow revenge/bash fic. Goes to show how unintended things can end up being the greatest assets. And the ending was a little rushed, but it's not too bad.
This was good.
| Ann E. Casap chapter 1 . 1/30/2014
KICK HIS FUCKING ASS, YANG! How DARE he do that to Blake!
| williamwz3 chapter 1 . 11/12/2013
I like the way this one ended the real one.
| Tear of Light chapter 1 . 10/16/2013
Yeah! Way to stick it to them Yang! You protect your girl! ;) I loved this piece. Like yourself, I was rather wound up after watching the latest episode. I can only hope the next one is better. If not, I hope you'll write more awesome pieces like this. :)
| I'll Eat Yourself chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
GHAAAHAHAHA WHY DO THE EPISODES HAVE TO BE SO SHOOOOORT!? DX
Handing Cardin's backside to him? I seriously can't wait for the next episode. I'm expecting to see Juane put that aura thing of his to use and somehow manage some serious butt-whooping. If nothing else I at least expect Cardin to get booted from the school. Now if I could just figure out what his weapon does so I could think up a way for Shike to beat the living heck out of him. Me? If I were Juane, it's possible I would have sneaked up behind him and put my sword to his neck and threatened that, while I may not be the best fighter, I DO know how to be sneaky enough to scare the crap out of someone, and had I not been trying to avoid killing others that aren't a direct threat to society, I could have killed him right there before he even knew what was coming, and if he did anything to hurt me, he'd have to deal with Mr. Green Ninja With Guns, the crazy and DANGEROUSLY UNPREDICTABLE girl with the FRIGGIN' GRENADE-LAUNCHING WAR HAMMER, and Pyrrha, the most skilled female fighter in the school. Oh yes, and all of team RWBY. Who's dangerous now, punk!?
I just had an idea. What if someone never used their locker much, so instead they had a remote that they would use to call their locker to them while they avoided enemy attacks, and inside was a whole bunch of weapons they could use? Of course, the remote could have a number pad on it as well so the person using it could set it to a specific locker, allowing them to switch lockers between schools should he need to. Upon arrival, the locker would anchor itself to the floor/ground somehow and they could use the locker as both a weapons depot and a cover spot! Not so effective in an airborne situation of course, but otherwise, PRETTY FREAKING AWESOME. Yeah, I'm totally using that for someone if I ever write a RWBY story.
Now that I am done rambling, great story! I love how everything turned out! I was a bit surprised that they used "teammates" instead of "friends" or something, since you can be someone's teammate and still not do any of that stuff, at least none of the stuff that doesn't directly affect you, but I guess it works! XD
| SanguisAnima chapter 1 . 10/15/2013
Pfff... Never mind the fluff, it's all good.
Especially with Yang going fired up, literally and figuratively, at Cardin.
Eh, first it was Jaunex(whoever) smutfics, now its whoever against Cardin... Speaking of which, the only thing that would've made this MORE perfect is if Yang (somehow) broke Cardin's legs.
THAT is ABSO-*bleeep*ING-LUTELY perfect.