Reviews for The Legacy
old-crow chapter 81 . 7/14
Hi,

I can't wait for the invasion of Hogwarts chapter(s) with Harry and friends flaying the staff, Draco getting his hands and feet cut off, left to die slowly, as Narcissa watches, before she succumbs to a slow poison.

All the best,

Crow
RandomOTP chapter 81 . 7/14
I love this fic, please update soon!
old-crow chapter 71 . 7/13
Hi,

I always thought that Ron, as a character, effectively became useless by the end of third or possibly fourth year. As a plot device he was great for being able to impart random knowledge/misknowledge - "Everyone knows that ..." She used it quite effectively in books one - three.

You're stuck with a post-Hogwarts Ron who still appears to have the mental age of about 13-15. I'm simply amazed that the other three characters are willing to put up with his blatant insults.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 70 . 7/13
Hi,

Actually, I think that invisible snakes is an inspired bit of storytelling.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 61 . 7/13
Hi,

Your poison chapter was very well written. The scene cuts were perfect and illustrated the multi-threaded action quite nicely.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 60 . 7/13
Hi,

I enjoyed your Seed of Doubt chapter with Hermione's self talk regarding Harry and Daphne's possible relationship.

The problem with your Hermione is that she honestly believes that she is the moral compass of the world, and minimizes ideas that don't fit within a narrow band beyond the path that she's envisioned. It is a high and mighty idea to think of taking scores of prisoners, yet she seems to be forgetting that they currently struggle to have enough food for the five of them. I keep asking myself, why doesn't your Harry call for Dobby?

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 54 . 7/12
Hi,
...
She washed the bad taste from her mouth. How long until she would sleep well again? Would she ever? Her glance fell onto her reflection in the mirror. A haunted, pale girl stared back. The marks had mostly vanished by now, the pain was gone, but she could still feel the hands as if they were there, and the cold that nothing could chase away accompanied them. Had they been the last the others had felt? She had never dared to ask, but she supposed they were.
...

Frequently in paragraphs like this, the subject (Sarah, in this case) aren't specifically identified. Once in a while, it's fine, but using the technique too frequently simply makes your fine story more difficult to read.

Old-Crow of the
old-crow chapter 50 . 7/11
Hi,

I keep waiting for your Harry to have a short, but brutally blunt conversation with Ron along the lines of, "Daphne is my wife. You will be civil to her. Is there any part of this that you do not understand?"

You Ron isn't 14 anymore.

Old-Crow
nauze18 chapter 81 . 7/10
is there more to this story ?
old-crow chapter 41 . 7/10
Hi,

As of the end of Harry's first hit against the DEs, your Daphne is portrayed as still seeing herself as a) a slytherin and b) still a student - almost as if she somehow believes that the business with Draco will blow over in another week or two. Was that unwillingness to have her adapt intentional on you part? It makes her appear less clever every day.

Just curious.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 4 . 7/7
Hi,

In all of the discussion regarding the contracts, I did not see a scene that told Harry how much the buy-out price was - either for him, or for Greengrass/Malfoy.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 2 . 7/7
Hi,

You Author Note information on the contracts was good reading. That said, it belonged in the body of the story. A/Ns are a weak crutch, in terms of good storytelling.

You should have worked it into a scene of Daphne reading a book.

If something is worth knowing, please work it into your tale. You'll have a better story for it.

Old-Crow
old-crow chapter 1 . 7/7
Hi,

Your opening page needs a bit of proofing.
...
His need to prove himself had never led him to any success but instead to ruination. And so he waited, ignoring his exhaustion.

Inside Harry, an all-consuming fire was raging, threatening to burst forth, but held back for the moment. Anger at Dumbledore for his part, for his lack of action and foresight, at his own powerless state and lack of caution, anger at the Ministry for failing at the most rudimentary of tasks –keeping the people save, something they had so shamefully neglected in their stubbornness
...

Old-Crow
A.Lovely.Villain chapter 1 . 7/5
Great start! Love your writing. Cant wait to see how this story develops :)
LostUmbrella chapter 54 . 6/30
Yay, Dudley is alive!
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