|Reviews for Espionage|
| LolaHighwind chapter 1 . 1/31/2014
Hm. The story is a little confusing (for example, was the narrator forever trapped in that gory world?) but it's an interesting idea! (It was also cool that you chose to focus on its ears rather than its most obvious creepy attribute, the eyes, since everyone knows Espurr's eyes are creepy.) I'm also a little partial to pokepastas that take place in the Pokemon universe, rather than someone discovering a hacked or haunted Pokemon game.
| Darrin chapter 1 . 1/17/2014
How about Espurrs eyes. It's about Pokémon causing trainers in the game and real life people to commit suicides due to Espurr and its eyes. ITs just like lavender town but way worse. it does that to every age and trainers in games. It turns out to be Banettes pet so that he can get revenge on kids who gets rid of any kinds of dolls.
| Fairylust chapter 1 . 1/10/2014
Aww, poor Espurr...this was sad, yet I'm glad the main character didn't die. Wouldn't have minded so much if that Clodia girl got whacked seeing as she was purposely hurting Espurr. So, to sum things up I liked this story and think you should write more!
A sequel would be nice. I was kinda hoping the main character/narrator would adopt Espurr and give it a good home, but this ending was also fitting. Well done.
I wish you luck with your future endeavors!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/9/2013
.AWESOME!I'm getting Pokèmon X for Christmas,and at Route 6 I hope to catch this scarily future-seeking Pokèmon,evolve it,breed it,and get 2 boxes full of baby Espurr staring back at you like deceivingly evil plushy dolls.
| LunaMoonreader chapter 1 . 11/30/2013
I did something wrong tonight... That was pretty good, but the gore and the furfrou scratching itself to death killed it, other wise I liked it.
| zombie killer chapter 1 . 11/4/2013
It was ok i it isent that scary to me but was relly good :-)
| Precious chapter 1 . 10/31/2013
Woah! Gave me goosebumps! Really good and very well written! I really enjoyed it and you should write more -
| Farla chapter 1 . 10/31/2013
[They didn't listen to its' heeding cry. ]
"Its" is possessive, as in "its story", and "it's" means "it is", "its'" manages to always be wrong, stop doing that. And I have no idea what you think you're doing with "heeding" there.
[Espurr's pokedex entry blatantly states: "The organ that emits its intense psychic power is sheltered by its ears to keep power from leaking out."]
Yeah, you know what is doesn't blatantly state? That this means it's agonizingly painful for them to have their ears touched. And if you actually check the petting minigame, they enjoy having their ears rubbed and only start objecting once they like you. What would even be the point of having something that's supposed to be the protective structure be the super-sensitive bit?
[I've seen trainers in plain daylight rub the poor, faintly cobalt kitten's ears to its' extreme discontent. ]
Don't throw in unrelated description. Does the fact they're "faintly cobalt" have anything to do with the sentence? No? Then it shouldn't be there. And "extreme discontent"? The longer you take saying something, the less impact it has. Really, you could stop at "ears" since everyone already gets that you're saying they don't like it by this point.
Write out numbers with letters.
And then the story just falls apart from here on where for some reason the espurr can speak but only French and the narrator is somehow getting pulled in and so is their pokemon and it's all about how horrible petting their ears is despite that actually not being what's in the game and also the main focus seems to be on how the espurr doesn't want to accidentally kill people even though the story revolves around how much they must hate these trainers, and it just keeps going long after you've made your point, and also it's about pokemon abuse in general yet you keep the monofocus on the ears. Like with the sentences, you need to prune things that don't matter from a story.
| utopiaray123 chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
Wow that actually quite disturbing take on an Espurr...
What makes this story more disturbing, is what the Espurr was saying in French, the words in bold translate into: I have done something wrong tonight.
| PikaBulbasaur chapter 1 . 10/20/2013
This was really good and really creepy. Nice job!
No wonder my Espurr hated ear petting on Pokemon Amie. *shudder*
| DriftedDaisy chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
That was... Awesome! This has to be my second favourite Pokémon creepypasta! (My favourite's Jessica, a Pokémon creepypasta on the Creepypasta Wiki) I just loved this! All I can say now is... EPIIIIIICCCCC!