|Reviews for all the memories i won't keep|
| MissingMommy chapter 1 . 12/6/2013
Wow. First of all, I really enjoyed the second person. It was powerful, and I could step into Bill's shoes. And I just adored Bill. Him and Charlie are two of my favorite Weasleys to read/write about, so I enjoyed this.
I like the step of this. I liked seeing how they grieved over a week.
[and steal his pawn. Charlie stares at you...] - everything after "steal his pawn" is a repeat of the first part of the paragraph. I don't know if it's on purpose or not.
The fight between Percy and Ginny broke my heart. Personally, I don't really see Percy as saying that. But I definitely enjoyed the [(Behind his bedroom door, Percy wishes he were his fallen brother)]. This line was just so powerful. I do imagine that Percy would hate himself because he distracted Fred.
Day Three -
[it isn't reasonable for us; all of us. Mum? It's Bill...] - The repetition happens again here. Everything after "all of us" is just a repeat. This time, I think it fits, but I just wanted to point it out in case that wasn't purposeful.
Day Four -
Repetition happens once more. [Too depressing. As you wake up, your back is stiff...]
I think that Day Five is my favorite. It's simple and it's not overstated. And I think it's brilliant.
But I think this was great! Good job, dear! (And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to review. I've been super busy, unfortunately).