|Reviews for A Summer to Remember|
| bluefuzzykiwi chapter 3 . 2/20
please update soon, i think that this story is fantastic!
| nina.potter.56 chapter 3 . 12/5/2013
| Carlisle Cullen x.x chapter 3 . 11/23/2013
That's brilliant x
| Silvermane1 chapter 3 . 11/21/2013
They are so cute
| Ai Neko Yokai chapter 2 . 11/21/2013
You are missing the 'h' in 'his' twice.
"...as George stripped himself of is clothes with a wave of is wand..."
"...Harry slowly and aloud Harry to get used to the feeling..."
That 'aloud' should be 'allowed'.
| Ai Neko Yokai chapter 1 . 11/21/2013
I write my reviews as I read the chapters. I will apologize in advance; I can be a bit rude when critiquing.
First and foremost, the beginning of your chapter... the very first sentence is jacked.
"Harry was currently sitting in his room in the Dursley's house who were being strangely nice to him after coming back to Privet Drive after the disastrous end to fifth year where his Godfather Sirius Black was gravely injured in the battle of The Department of Mysteries."
There is too much in this sentence. Part of it is unnecessary.
"Harry was currently sitting in his room at Privet Drive, wondering why his family was being so nice. He was sent back to the Dursley's after the battle in the Department of Mysteries where Sirius was gravely injured."
The other parts in the original sentence aren't needed. If something hasn't changed in your fanfic from the book, do assume the reader knows. Since Sirius isn't dead in this fic, pointing out he wasn't dead was important. Just like the reader knows who Sirius [Black] is in relation to Harry.
"He was currently sitting at his desk re-reading the letter his other Godfather Remus Lupin had sent him, while absentmindly stroking his beautiful owl Hedwig."
You are missing commas.
"He was currently at his desk re-reading the letter his other Godfather, Remus Lupin, had sent him while **absentmindedly** stroking his beautiful owl, Hedwig."
**to note the spelling error.
In the previous sentence, you already mentioned that he was sitting. Keeping that in mind, your second sentence just lets the reader know where exactly. :)
*And this is where I must stop myself with this insane editing because I realize now that you follow a different set of rules in the English department. ;) Commas aren't necessarily necessary for where you're from. I do apologize for toe-stepping, but I don't like hitting the backspace key.
On with reading...
Ah, just so you know... After italicizing Harry's letter, you forgot to change it back to normal setting. The rest of the chapter is italicized as well.
(Overall review for chapter one:)
A bit rushed? I'm unsure of a better word or phrase. Anyhow, I did enjoy it enough that I'm more than inclined to hit the 'Next' button for Chapter 2. :)
| ILoveGeorgeEads chapter 3 . 11/21/2013
I loved loved loved it.
| Nayeli Clearwater chapter 3 . 11/21/2013
(squeals in delight at the Tarzan song)
AWWWW, I LOVE THAT SONG!
And best of all, I know the whole thing, so I can teach it to Fred and George!
| lilah chapter 1 . 10/26/2013
i like where your going but i've never heard of anybody signing a letter "your boyfriend" and i get that's silly since they are in a three person relationship, but it just sounds strange to me.
| Clickydowiz chapter 2 . 10/26/2013
WTF 22 people favorite this?! Nerds...
| KnightofCamelot14 chapter 2 . 10/26/2013
Jeez sis! A bit graphic to my mind! X_X I've now died. Awesome story though. :)
| DoctorcommaThe chapter 2 . 10/26/2013
- Poor George.
| DoctorcommaThe chapter 1 . 10/26/2013
| Carlisle Cullen x.x chapter 2 . 10/25/2013
I love this! I really can't wait for the next one
| Angel wolf11021 chapter 2 . 10/24/2013
write more soon.