Are these actually 11 and 12 year olds? God forbid when they grow up. I want you to go outside and actually see how kids are at these ages if you ever comeback to this. This is one story that would actually benefit from a age up. Nothing makes sense otherwise.

ok i gotta ask how are people assigned to casts? What makes Malfoy serpents and potters Lions? I mean before harry the house of Potter was as pureblood as the malfoys. Are all the houses still there like those a house Gryffindor exist? And a second questions if Dumbledore and grindewald are raised in this world in one of the four castes what are they rebelling against?

This was such a brilliant, inventive, original story. It truly is a tragedy that it has been left unfinished. Such a tragedy for a marvelous work to be left in its present state.

Hoping for a miraculous return and u keep writing

Why is Draco so likeable? He’s funny and enjoyable to read! What is this sorcery?

Desperately need an updaye

Great fic, super addictive pacing and writing
A typo here and there-lily knowing Hermione is a mid blood then it being revealed later in the same chapter a few back and in this one, squirrel being referred to as riddle

This was a REALLY good fic! Thank you for sharing. :)

I'll retract some of my criticism of Captain McLaggen here. It still feels a bit heavy handed but the setup into a plotline with Sirius and Tiberius is a reasonably valuable payoff to this episode of the story. The battle is good, and Quirrel's charge is amazing.

Quirrel the troll tamer continues this story's flair for recombination (as with Macnair the groundskeeper and Norbert the task obstacle), a truly pleasant surprise to find him here. The antagonism between McLaggen and Sirius feels misplaced here, and a better way of ratcheting suspense would have been to rely on the timer of their Polyjuice supply while keeping them on base for a less transparently unnecessary reason.

Now this is an awesome chapter. I particularly applaud the way the battle with Flint combines Norbert with the First Task Horntail baiting. The specifics of Pettigrew's betrayal were predictable but still well-chosen. Harry and Hermione facing the Slug Club, whether Harry's verbal rescue from Scrimgeour or their icy discussion with Pettigrew and Regulus, is an effective set piece that does a lot for both characters. Macnair and Dean's scene is also richly imagined.

Neville and Susan have no reason not to bring in the threat of their families against Malfoy. Neville is maintaining distance from Harry/Ron as requested. Draco overlooking the difference in power/connections between bullying these two (as opposed to blackmailing Mudbloods and badgers) is a fairly egregious mistake.

The blood brothers thing is sort of cliche but still effective though, and the closing scene with Riddle and Draco is fantastic. The "It's my goddamn playground" line, as many reviewers have pointed out, is a fabulously over-the-top bit of writing.

Draco's hold on Hermione comes too easily here. I think the "Mudblood origin as social death sentence" thing is not sold well enough here, which is exacerbated by the presence of so many characters who (a) instantly see through her facade and (b) at least apparently are allied to Hermione's stated objectives. Her antagonism with Harry is also insufficiently motivated. She's nursed her grudge about his apology and conduct on the Express this whole time? Her lack of apparent curiosity about Harry's family background, and particularly his apparent Mudblood mother, also rings false. So I think the central characterization is fairly weak. But Justin and Dean are both quite good, and the Weasleys get rather dashing glow-ups from their canon selves that are all nice to see. Particularly enjoyable in this chapter are the Groundskeepers. This is the best sequence since the story has arrived at Hogwarts, with vivid description, surprise casting, and much intrigue. The big picture of the world – Slytherin/Grindelwald and the militarised border war, a flexible blood/caste system of absolute importance, and Hogwarts in control of Riddle and his Death Eaters – is excellent.

You know, at first I was going to complain that Malloy is nowhere near hermione in intellect but then i read and enjoyed it. Your Malloy IS mulch better and more enjoyable than the others.
Loving it so far two thumbs up

I get that this is an expositionbut like, your barely going into detail about what happened? like this could have been an amazing opening but I'm left underwhelmed and it's kinda sucky