|Reviews for Angels In Australia|
| Elton chapter 10 . 8/29
Jeepers. THAT WAS A GOOD STORY!
I am very impressed. Pulled me in and kept me hooked thru completion.
I hope you do follow up with this story.
Thanks for sharing.
| alix33 chapter 10 . 2/11
"had to finally called the witch" - "finally call the witch".
I think Harry could restore the memories of Hermione's parents fully and optimally because he didn't have the same parent-child link with them that Hermione had, which could have stopped her restoring charm work from working as it should.
"the girl's bathroom floor" - "the girls' bathroom floor".
"no camera's around" - "no cameras around".
I KNEW that vile Bernard wouldn't get away with doing everything he did to Hermione while Harry still had breath and magic in his body to still do something about it.
"formfitting" should be one word.
As should "midday".
"world's most fear hit wizard" - "most feared hit wizard".
"I simply took that principal" - "took that principle". A "principal" is a headmaster or headmistress, like Dumbledore or McGonagall.
"the richtcious anger" - "the righteous anger".
"The building distinctive white walls" - "The building's distinctive".
"that was catered more to adults" - "that catered more to" or "that was catering more to".
"I love you to, Harry" - "I love you too, Harry".
"attack on the Weasley's" - "attack on the Weasleys".
"locked in loves tender embrace" - "in love's tender embrace".
"spoke about the Weasley's" - "spoke about the Weasleys".
"the groups manager" - "the group's manager".
"good-natured" should be hyphenated.
"expected ascent" - "expected accent".
"my names Jacob" - "my name's Jacob".
"through the employee's gate" - "through the employees' gate".
I just figured out where Harry sent all the hit wizards and bad guys he didn't kill: he obliviated them of their magic, or removed their magic somehow, and made the employees of Disney World, the magical place of or for US muggles!
| alix33 chapter 9 . 2/11
"lifeblood" should be one word.
As should "torchlight".
"single-mindedness" should be hyphenated.
"look on her friends face" - "look on her friend's face".
"'handgun" should be one word.
"a regiment of blood-replenishing potions" - "a regimen of blood-replenishing potions".
"one of the rooms chairs" - "one of the rooms' chairs".
"The Weasley's would still be alive" - "Weasleys would".
"The Weasley's had taken Harry in" - "The Weasleys had".
"slipped into a comma" - "slipped into a coma".
"lifetime" should be one word.
"good-naturedly" gets hyphenated.
| alix33 chapter 8 . 2/11
"that is scared the land" - "that it scarred the land".
"of the worse headache you've ever had" - "the worst headache you've ever had".
That hand to hand combat training Hermione received as part of her TASS training sounds ace.
"life-threatening" should be hyphenated.
As should "mind-blowing".
"Bloody heel" - "Bloody hell"?
"wide carven" - "wide "cavern"?
"plaything" should be one word.
"Collect our prize boys" - "Collect our prize, boys".
"There enemies were greater" - "Their enemies were greater".
"underfed" should be one word.
This extended fight scene is huge fun to read thus far (Harry is just at the start of his going one on five on the bad guys).
"the attackers arm" - "the attacker's arm".
"follow-up" should be hyphenated.
"the other assailants' punch" - "the other assailant's punch".
Way to go, Harry! Killing Trent Davis with a throwing knife you pilfered from Hermione in the bad guy's eye!
"anticlimactic" should be one word.
"with a wane smile" - "with a wan smile".
| alix33 chapter 7 . 2/11
"looking in a pensive" - "looking in a pensieve".
"had anyone every made him' - "anyone ever made him".
"discretely casted a spell" - "discretely cast a spell". The verb "cast" doesn't get an -ed in its past tense or its past participle tense. It stays the same word for all three tenses.
"someone had just been thrust into his hand" - "someone had just thrust"? or "somehow had just been thrust"? (BTW, there's no such word as "thrusted" either. It's just like the verb "cast" in the note above).
"cheekbones" should be one word.
"He had as yet ever used" - "as yet never used".
| alix33 chapter 6 . 2/11
"bartender" should be one word.
"those dentist's teeth" - "those dentists' teeth".
"having caught site of the detonator" - "caught sight".
"at the first site of me" - "first sight of".
"look on the wizards face" - "the wizard's face".
"There's you're bomb" - "your bomb".
"you can removed it" - "remove it".
"earpiece" should be one word.
| alix33 chapter 5 . 2/11
Ah, OK. I wondered on which floor of that high-rise Hermione's apartment was and why she wasn't taking the stairs, like I would have (provided it wasn't higher than the 16th floor. See inside next bracket for why I specified the 16th floor), for exercise (in my final undergraduate year of uni I lived on the top floor of one of the two 16 floor dorms on our campus and racing up and down all those 16 floors' worth of stairs to and from class several times a day was my only exercise).
"in route to where Harry was" - "en route to".
"winching slightly" - "wincing slightly". To winch is to raise something up, using a winch, not a thing a person could do unless they operated said winch.
"You would normally be true" - "normally be right".
"from lack of trying" - "for lack of trying".
"downside" should be one word.
"its game over" - "it's game over".
"gaffed in disbelief" - "gasped in disbelief"? as the verb "gaff" has to do with impaling fish on a spear.
"where is floated" - "where it floated".
"the Malfoy's of the world" - "the Malfoys".
"look on the little gits face" - "little git's face".
| alix33 chapter 4 . 2/11
Since Hermione is a British expat witch in Australia, won't she have a "handbag" instead of a "purse"?
"catch them on accident" - "them by accident".
LOL at "You can be a tad bit mental when you put your mind to it".
"tad" and "bit" mean the same thing! Did you mean to be so tautological?! It's irritating beyond reason when fic authors use that alleged expression.
| alix33 chapter 3 . 2/11
I guess such a silent presence, with far superior magical powers than any of the other attendees at such meetings, suddenly speaking up in a meeting would scare the ever living daylights out of some of those bureaucrats (or as you call them, higher ups).
Who WAS the president when Harry invaded the Oval Office? Jed Bartlet or Matthew Santos (from the early 2000s US TV show The West Wing)? Barack Obama? All three of those guys, but especially Matthew Santos, would IMO actually like Harry loads.
"small boys face" - "small boy's face".
AW! at the way Cindy first spread her arms protectively in front of Harry and is now glaring at Hermione from Harry's lap.
Which magical creature chased which gender? Or did the dragons and fairies not discriminate on the basis of gender?
"I'll miss you to, Harry" - "miss you too, Harry".
"the Harry she use to know" - "she used to know".
If Sara was an empath, then she wasn't a squib at all; she just had a more rare magical skill that her odious father was quite obviously too clueless to recognise!
| alix33 chapter 2 . 2/11
"badies to hide" - "baddies".
"manpower" should be one word.
"did a far job" - "fair job".
"took us nearly six month" - "six months".
"in her friends past" - "her firend's past".
"Friends and co-worker were always" - "co-workers were".
"something shiny strapped to the persons back" - "the person's back".
| james.consolidated chapter 10 . 1/22
Absolutely fantastic story! A Super Harry story that barely even touched upon his ability. Like it was a side attribute. Very well done.
| SuperKinuhata chapter 10 . 12/17/2015
Cool, so they got obliviated and sent to Disneyland. Loved this story. Hope you update Witches of Westfield soon!
| InfiniteDragon chapter 10 . 12/5/2015
Very much like. Totally deserves more reviews than it has. :)
There's a few typos, but not too much (I can't read a story with more than 1-2 a chapter, it drives me nuts). But the characterization- once explained in-story- is near- or totally-flawless and the plot itself great.
Want more for sure. :)
| hisnhers chapter 10 . 6/25/2015
yes, definitely interested in more. I for one would love another chapter or so or maybe short sequel... if you do great, if not... well that's life.
I loved this!
| hisnhers chapter 9 . 6/25/2015
mean, mean cliffe