|Reviews for Pokemon: The Origin of Species|
| Vivat Musa chapter 30 . 8/16
If they trade numbers with everyone they meet, how they heck do they put the names to the faces? I'd be lost by the first dozen.
Pfft. Really enjoy Leaf and Red's banter.
That comment I sent via PM about Red calling out Blue on his names? HA. Feel free to completely disregard that now.
Hmm, an interesting idea. I was wondering when they would start coordinating their Pokemon, as that could really help in a pinch as we saw with those two trainers in the Virdian Forest, but Red's idea was pretty good.
Nice job on pointing out that a lot of fossils aren't dusted off right then and there, but also in a lab. And makes sense they'd be a lot of politics when it comes to recovering fossils.
| Vivat Musa chapter 29 . 8/15
I have to admit, that mystery in the beginning, then relieved by how supportive his friends are, was rather heartwarming. And ha, Leaf's last line; pretty good!
Pfft. There are SO MANY zubats.
Hmm, I've been wondering what an outpost would actually be like. The small, personal touches were nice and added interest.
I can see both Blue's and Red's viewpoints on the alerts, which is very good, but would still stick with Red if it means doing the research to save lives.
Yep, saying it now: Red's questions about psychics will totally tie in to Mewtwo.
Have to admit, I smiled when Pichu scampered up Red's shoulder.
I liked Red's tests, and the second one was actually rather sweet.
Just a note on the website, but I forgot who Scamp was, so I looked up on your website the Team Roster, and found a bunch of Pokemon that belong to the trainers. To be honest, while I really like having a list so I can go back and remember the Pokemon's nicknames, it sort of takes the surprise out of them. It would be nice if it listed the chapter number the Pokemon is caught in before the Pokemon, so you know exactly which one you want to find without spoiling the future captures.
In any case, cool situation with the wigglytuff! Not so dangerous right off the back, but still exciting and interesting.
Ha, nice bartering.
| Vivat Musa chapter 28 . 8/15
Wow...that beginning. A bit confusing at first, but you make the first conscious thoughts of life actually tangible. How the simple is understood and turned into complex, and the raw emotions that comes with awareness: raw confusion, awe, anger, loneliness, etc., How you managed to clearly convey all of this with such an interesting format/style...well done, indeed. Not sure if you know the reference, but Mewtwo's descriptions of people reminds me of Cole's in Dragon Age: Inquisition.
As he figures out what Pokemon are, you start to understand how his reasoning grows that humans are not worthy of Pokemon.
I haven't watched the movie since I was a kid, but gosh, this is making me feel sad for Mewtwo. I mean, he's so intelligent, but everything is so new and he just doesn't want to be alone. And I can see where that...purity, can get tainted, at not even being viewed as a being who has rights.
"You are not alone." Crap, you're going for all the feels, aren't you?
Hm, I'm guessing this theme between psychics and darks between Mewtwo and Giovanni will also continue between Blue and Red as they somehow get tangled up in this; I guess through Red's research as it develops?
Wow, that's an ending alright. Crap...can't exactly blame him for feeling so despairing.
| Vivat Musa chapter 27 . 8/14
Huh. Well, that intro about animals cleared up a lot of fandom confusion.
Can't say I like Jarod-he may be stern, but as a teacher, he should be encouraging, not disparaging. Guess that's the point, though. :/ Even so, interesting battles. I enjoy how Blue has his own style, esp. with his squirtle.
Also, just as an aside, but I'm really happy this chapter came before the Interlude. While I like the interludes, breaks don't always sit well if you place them right after a really interesting event or cliffhanger.
Pfft. Burnnn. I mean, at least Red was trying to help. But Leaf's comment, "Thanks...but your mom's better." At least Red admitted it.
"Spot my headache." Ah, how often a researcher says that...
Just thinking, though, but even though the correlation between "Other" and "Night Shade" is little to nil, there should be a correlation elsewhere, if Red is documenting everything.
[She grins. "I wonder if they have a script."] Pfft, true. I mean, it makes sense why they're all dramatic. Brock may be casual, but is a leader and knows how important this is to the trainers, and Blue is trying to shape his image.
Ah...Blue moved his Pokemon back because Brock wouldn't want to risk Onix surging up and hitting the audience, right?!
OH MY GOSH HE WON! :D :D :D
What I REALLY like is seeing how Blue truly has improved from his first lessons. While he trained his Shrifty, he didn't use it as a crutch, and learned how to improve Squirtle, and you demonstrated that without making it too on the nose like, "HE WILL BE USING THIS IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE."
Also, this has been nagging me for awhile, but are there any reasons behind his Pokemon's names? (Speaking of Pokemon names, I do enjoy how other trainers have apt yet personal names for their pokemon rather than something generic or cheesy.)
| Vivat Musa chapter 26 . 8/14
..."if we don't trust our leaders we might as well go back to letting our warlords rule us." Oooh, politics. How nice in theory, how the exact opposite in real life.
Also, this was an interesting opportunity to learn the difference between mayors and leaders. I like the mayor; "accountable" and interested in the people's voices, and even if he is a bit underhanded as in politics, he is still honest, and doesn't patronize Leaf, but rather lets her figure out things herself.
I was pretty much screaming at Blue: DON'T DO IT! Then I slumped back in my seat, relieved, when he decided to wait. A good showcase of how he's grown. He's tempted to just rush ahead and beat the odds, but after a moment, realizes that's what he would've done before he had gotten more experience. It's rather satisfying to see him grow.
Also, while I like Psychic Narud, I did enjoy how you resisted the temptation to make the first psychic you meet immediately like Red and vice versa. Mary-Sue trope subverted!
I also like how you acknowledge that the individual projects, while exciting, have taken up time from the friendships of the characters. You can't have everything.
Also, just a note on the tactful writing, but that sentence "He hasn't brought his spinark out since leaving the forest." set the contrast to the previous statement on how he's been spending time with his other Pokemon.
"Reality doesn't care about convenience or dramatic story progression." (Hint, hint, to the writers out there.)
While I think this showed just how much Blue and Red care about each other, it is interesting to compare how they're growing. They're both facing the realities of the world, but their reactions are different (as they rightly should be), so there's an interesting dynamic and almost tension between them, mitigated by their friendship.
| Vivat Musa chapter 25 . 8/13
A bit rushed review, sorry, but again, I do enjoy the calmer "realism" in the past few chapters, and also how the theme of the chapter's title smoothly threads the chapter together.
| Vivat Musa chapter 24 . 8/13
Anybody who is a writer knows just how hard it can be to keep writing for that long straight, ON TOP of getting negative feedback. Kudos to Red! With that being said, thanks for acknowledging that this is still technically "easy" to get a research grant; a family member of mine is studying to be a professor, and it takes months, easily a year, to really get going. Also, nice pacing doing that section; just a short paragraph to get the idea of how his days are going without going over extraneous details.
["I know where you sleep." Past Red] Pffffffft. See, it's the little things like that that can add so much.
Also, I wish it the change had come a bit sooner so it felt more consistent, but I do like the change of perspectives now, from Red to Leaf or Blue. Especially since each character is focused and striving for totally different things: Red, his research; Leaf, her writing; and Blue, her training. All three are interesting and told very thoughtfully and logically, so even if you're not particularly invested in one, you're still interested and can find something you enjoy and even learn from, and that also separates the characters apart by giving them their own backbone. A very well done move!
Onto Laura's advice: AWESOME! I love learning about writing techniques, and I think this showed this in a very real way without getting all technical and forced. Also, the ideas and examples were great (especially how you can use tradition to your advantage, and other opposing view points, if you just look at it in another way), and also nice in how do you "told the story" of it.
| Vivat Musa chapter 23 . 8/12
Another interesting aspect that your rationale brought out; Brock can't give a command to his Geodude when he's underground, so it reverts to "wild" Pokemon-behavior, waiting for enough vibrations. And that trick with the Stealth Rocks; very nice!
Ah, and I figured why decisive action would've been better; like the third member said, he could've ended the first battle way earlier if Blue had acted sooner...
And ah, I see. Blue isn't so much patient, as being so determined that he can hold back just about everything else with his intense focus if he thinks he can win. (facepalm). Yeah...should've figured that earlier.
| Vivat Musa chapter 22 . 8/12
...Strangely, while I like Leaf and Red a lot, Blue has continually impressed me. To me at least, he feels the most "real"; a complex character. Patient in battle and crises, but not always in life...or when he's consciously trying (heh); arrogant (soooo cocky), but not blindingly so (most of the time); smart, but not nerdy like Red; gruff, but still caring.
Additionally, I liked your interpretation of how the gyms work. The puzzles are interesting, but...hard to write, nevermind explain, in a rational fic. And it makes sense that the gyms would carefully test each person to make sure that they aren't just strong, but have another desired trait. But-HA! That blank expression Sharzad gives him, totally confused at his "patience." Great job at subversion! (Same with the last chapter with the ending.) The pokemon battles themselves were clever, and did show Blue's patience and tactical mind. And I have to admit, but reading about his Pokemon play in the mud was cute!
The strategy against the Cradily was clever! Deprive it of its roots, and attack from above, out of reach. Even when the typing was against him, Blue stuck through.
| Vivat Musa chapter 20 . 8/11
Huh, an interesting look into the Psychic world. Good job of trying to make sense of all of that!
| Vivat Musa chapter 19 . 8/10
I know I've said this before, but Blue's debate with Leaf about people waiting for their Pokemon (an interesting thought, actually) it made me think how Blue has grown since the first chapter. He seemed rather thick-headed, but know while he's still bordering on stubborn, you can really get into his mind and understand him and his motives. He makes mistakes, but also tries his best to correct them. Good character development!
To be honest, while I can understand Blue's actions...I am glad that doctor didn't let the abuse slide (for the most part).
Also, Professor Oaks is just getting cooler and cooler with each chapter! He's stern, but friendly, and his name is clearly deserved, as well as just being a sweet and wise gramps. Don't you love thoughtful gifts? (and the fact that he turned away towards Blue when he was being bratty-ha). And his sense of humor-two awesome gifts, and then-...a book.
A very well-placed chapter! After all the drama and action, it's nice to have a natural, more relaxing chapter to balance things.
| Guest chapter 46 . 8/8
So intense! Plz keep writing!
| sirmoocowthethird chapter 46 . 8/8
i cant help but think sylph was waiting for this, for her to step out of her comfort zone and do something she wasn't trained to do, so that they could put her on the defensive and bring her into a more political type of battle she couldn't win
| Vivat Musa chapter 18 . 8/7
While I liked how the previous interludes were written, this is the first one where you could clearly see how the interlude fits into the story. I really liked the beginning; I'm not sure that's canon or you created it, but it was really good and creative. That line: "still the stone was there." Somehow, it's so simple and yet it resonates so deeply. One thing that's great is how even the side characters are so fleshed out. Very good characterization of Brock, and I really appreciate the world-building of what it's like to be a gym leader. This chapter was sad, but showed a new perspective on the previous chapter, and also had rays of hope in it: the conversation with Blue and esp. that line: "Courage, for a little longer! Dawn is coming!" It's obvious to see why Brock is so admired. He tries his best, is strong and compassionate, and is still human and shows it (such as his struggles with Onix).
| anothersignalman chapter 46 . 8/7
Brilliantly written and intriguing as always.
The "flying type" hypothesis is very interesting, and I look forward to how it relates (or doesn't...) to the Levitate ability, as you've hinted at with Flygon.