|Reviews for Pokemon: The Origin of Species|
| coldwinter122 chapter 47 . 4/18
Really enjoying this but I'm not into the knew character, just feels like a lot of filler with Aiko. Don't see what she really adds to the main trio... Blues the master trainer, Reds the scientist/idea man (my personal fave) and then Leaf the young female journalist... what role does Aiko fill? The go betweener? Does the fic really need that 400,000 words in? Love the story, just don't care for Aiko's arch in it.
| Borellean chapter 54 . 4/17
Ok first off let me say FUUUUUUUUUUCK! I have refrained from reviewing until I read up to the last updated part of this story as I didn’t want to touch on over bearing review points and to see how your writing changed as you continued. It has been quite pleasant to see you take the advice of those reading and edit or rewrite certain parts to make them easier to understand and apply it in your future writing. At first I was a bit overwhelmed with the barrage of over explanation of scientific and psychological explanations but noted that you cleaned up explanations in later chapters leaving more room for progressive storyline. Speaking of storyline I can’t say enough about how I feel your character development feels so correct. The growth of each person is realistic and they don’t either magically become an instant expert with new problems or randomly revert to previous behaviors. I normally get bored with fan written stories after a while but you’ve had almost no low. While I do feel a tad drawn out during reds inner monologues and feel they could be trimmed up a little bit I would be saddened to see them go. The reporter arc spreading through this story! Augh! I can’t wait to see where Laura and Leaf head next in that endeavor! I was also super disappointed in the cliffhanger at the end of chapter 54. Not because I didn’t like it, oh no, but because it was perfectly crafted. The actions felt real, the panic and urgency was there in every letter. I wait VERY impatiently for an update because diglett tunnel is becoming my favorite part of this story so far. Well after the reporter arc of course. Oh and that’s another thing I wanted to mention. You have taken Pokémon and places them in situations most people would never think. The pikachu stampede and shiftry attack, the horde of paras swarming the mountainside and causing the chaos they did, the dangers of diglett tunnel and the associated geography. You’ve taken what most people would consider some of the weakest and easiest to defeat characters in an area and shown precisely how nature in the Pokémon world rules everything. I want more and I can’t wait! Keep up the awesome work
| Red's Melancholy chapter 54 . 4/16
I thought this story was supposed to be about Red and his scientific developments within the Pokèmon world. Not Blue and this whole filler arc the past couple of chapters.. I'm all for a little chapter break showing what Leaf and Blue are doing once in awhile, but it seems like it's all filler now. I want to see more Red and his training to become a pokemon researcher!
| Vivat Musa chapter 54 . 4/15
My notes as I read:
Really liking Blue’s development. Earlier in the story, he would’ve been ruthless, as his flashback with Kemuri revealed. In the beginning of the story, he was also a lot less brash and sensitive, but we can see that he’s really taking his responsibility as a leader with Elaine, and the fact that he prioritizes the rest of his team and others instead of the glory.
It makes sense that someone in our cast isn't as comfortable with arguing, such as Elaine. It's a very common, human reaction.
Interesting theory about the Absol. It's usually seen as an omen of catastrophe, but if there’s an actual force…that’d throw a twist into the myths. I wonder how Red would’ve felt if he had linked to a Pokemon during a battle, if the Pokemon would’ve felt “off,” too. I would be careful on how you use it, though, since Absol's Pressure is so vague that it can easily become too overpowered/overused.
"Nope-o-clock." Gotta use that one.
You did a good job setting the mood in the tunnel. The descriptions make it feel so tense, and this whole thing with the absol feels drawn out, but in a right way. They didn’t immediately catch it, which is realistic, but they’re still willing to try again, and this time go further in an unplanned place, which keeps the story exciting.
“Summoned” seems a bit of an odd word choice. I get what Elaine is meaning, but how often do people say that someone “summoned” something, unless it’s a magical setting?
I enjoyed the experimentation of the team dynamics of what happens if you take away one member of the team, in this case, Red. But it felt like Leaf was pretty much forgotten. Wouldn’t she have been helpful in the scene where Blue is talking to everyone?
I have to admit, I kind of like this Fischer guy. He’s reasonably indignant that Blue didn’t follow his orders, but he isn’t obstinate, and he gets straight down to business when plans change.
And where' left on ANOTHER cliffhanger. Worth it, though!
| Kang of Dragons chapter 54 . 4/15
Great chapter! Glad to see Blue’s learning and it’s amazing to see how he’s grown since last time I read, which was way back when Oak gave Blue his book. Can’t wait to see him become champion. Thanks for the great work
| Shaun Dreclin chapter 54 . 4/11
Arrrggghhhh why did I have to catch up on such a cliffhanger?
This is like my fourth time reaching the "end" of this story, dunno if I've ever reviewed but I love it! I've been following this since there were only three chapters, last time I read it the last one was right around the paras attack. Keep up the good work (and write faster! lol)
| Stephen Alvin chapter 54 . 4/11
That was amazing! I really hope that you will continue this series until the trio reaches the pokemon league. :)
| Guest chapter 54 . 4/9
On the edge of my fucking seat. Can’t wait for next month. This is my favorite story, and I love reading each new chapter.
| vvethsuvan chapter 54 . 4/7
Suspenseful. I maybe reading too much into this, it feels like a hint to what you're planning with Mewtwo.
I understand this is a rational fanfic, but I wish it was more mystical. Nothing supernatural like Traveler. Something that can't be explained by science & drives Red mad. Though with the mysteries of Pokémon, there'll be plenty.
The world building is interesting. I especially enjoy Mewtwo's interludes. I actually have no criticism to offer.
Keep up the good work!
| David chapter 54 . 4/5
Thanks for keeping on with this story. It’s been so fantastic to read a rational and realistic Pokemon story for adults. This chapter 54 has been set up incredibly well, the slowly building series of unfortunate events have been engaging and I can’t wait for the next chapter!
| T. L. Veselka chapter 4 . 4/5
Another great chapter, I was gonna say it lacked some tension but the final catch attempt had me holding my breath. Well done once more!
| AceTrainerLeaf chapter 54 . 4/4
I cannot believe I waited a whole month for this. I think I died. Why would you choose to continue a tense chapter with a cliffhanger only to end the next chapter with an even worse cliff-hanger? I thought you said you care about us :'(
Lol, anyway, I enjoyed this chapter. It's nice to see Blue being the responsible, caring team leader rather than the cocky dolt he is usually portrayed as. And I hate to admit it, he's pretty smart too. I feel like Blue is concentrating more on his promise of revenge rather than trying to save people who could currently be in danger, as shown by his worry about his 'resilience' to Pressure. I'm sure he has lots of it though. It feels like this story still has many chapters to go though, and it helps because another story I'm reading is about to end, even thought the chapter come out after a whole month. Still, let's see how much resilience to this 'Pressure' I have :) ~Leaf
| Little Follower chapter 54 . 4/3
Had me on the edge of my seat for that entire second half! I can't imagine how badly this next part could go down...really hope nobody dies in this fight, especially not Elaine; this chapter made her so relatable for me, the precious little marshmallow! Also glad we delved more into the pressure ability in this chapter, yet another fascinating topic in the multifaceted world of rational pokemon! Looking forward to that next chapter (distant as that may feel) and really grateful to you for not pulling an April Fools on us!
| Cyberchao X chapter 54 . 4/3
Hmm. Interesting way to describe Absol's abilities. I remember that its other ability is Super Luck, so that fits with your description as well.
| Guest chapter 54 . 4/2
OMG, such a great chapter, definitely not boring lol. Thanks for updating, can't wait for the next chapter :)