|Reviews for Tremble Mortal|
| RPGPersona chapter 12 . 15h
Yes, go Starfire. Don't let Raven forget the revelations she had before the toxins, even if it means letting Raven going inside your head. Yay, fragments of Raven's memories are coming back as she watches. Okay, I was not expecting Raven's dream to be so heated. Starfire also convinced Raven to stop waiting and seize the day before something else happens.
So Beast Boy straight up admitted he was jealous of Speedy and how he seemed to get along with Raven at the party. It is a little sad seeing the defeat in his voice when he said he wouldn't interfere with her dating Speedy. Well, not only did Raven get her massage, she was able to give Beast Boy a quick kiss on the lips. That should shatter his assumption that Raven is repulsed by him.
Meeting time, with Beast Boy finally in a good mood again, and Raven feeling content herself. That is quite the elaborate spy bug that the Joker made, almost impossible to detect. Beast Boy apologizes again for his action and the topic moves to the fact that a giant pool of blood was found in the warehouse. Seeing the latest video along with the evidence that Beast Boy really was killed causes Raven to instinctive grasp Beast Boy hand, to make sure he is okay. Seeing the snake head gives Raven the hypothesis that beast Boy sacrificed an animal form to take his place. It raises the question of why Beast Boy can make such a sacrifice.
Well, thankfully the video gave the team the clues needed to find the Joker's next hideout. With the whole team united this time, they were able to smash there way in without any trouble this time. The Joker used his blood to get away, but Beast Boy was able to morph into the Joker was Harley splashed him with blood and make sure she was captured. Raven was quite worried about Beast Boy, to the point where he had to hold her back.
A hungry look in her eye. I wonder if a hug is all she was craving at the time, or was just intimate enough to calm her desires. Raven really had to wrestle with herself there as her emotions all wanted her to end Harley's life for what she did to Beast Boy. Eventually Raven won out and healed the brain damage he inflicted on Harley long ago.
With the damage healed, Harley told the team that the Joker had a boat he used to get here and transport materials. When Beast Boy told his own story of having his brain messed with, Harley also decided to reveal the name of the ship as well.
At least the Joker capture went well this time, minus all the toxins that got released into the ocean. Once again, Raven had to reign if her emotions, who all desired to see the Joker dead.
Haha, now that Raven is starting to make a move on Beast Boy, Rage is getting impatient and want to go straight to the love making. Raven for now continues to take things slow. Getting a nice massage and giving Beast Boy a longer kiss than before.
So the Joker is dead, and Harley is going back to red.
| RPGPersona chapter 11 . 8/20
Raven No. Why do I have the feeling some Grim Reaper shenanigans are going to be occurring later.
Not surprising, but Beast Boy is ready to kill the joker to avenge Raven. He remembered Billy Numerous being scared the last time they met and trying to leave the city. An interrogation revealed he was used as heavy labor for the Joker. Beast Boy even got an address. Unfortunately, the Joker was ready for any intruders with an undetectable paralysis gas. Beast Boy is helpless as Harley Quinn chops his head. Maybe Beast Boy and Raven will meet in the afterlife.
Never mind, Raven was just putting herself in a near death state to ride out the toxins. She was able to repair the damage and recover just fine.
Of course the Joker would have a recording of Beast Boy getting beheaded. Following Beast Boy's trial leads the others to the Joker's lair. Too bad they fall for the same trap Beast Boy did.
Interesting. Beast Boy was able to prolong his life by sacrificing an animal form. Talk about having nine lives. Back on his feet. Beast Boy brings the house down and prevents anyone else from getting hurt. We also got that funny moment when Beast Boy and Raven notice that the other is still alive. The Joker got away, but no one was killed, so that is good.
Of course the neurotoxin would wipe Raven's memories from after realizes her own feelings as well as Beast Boy's. Of course. I share Starfire's feeling on the matter.
| RPGPersona chapter 10 . 8/19
Well, Rage's words about Beast Boy's hands are really stuck in Raven's head. That was nice of Beast Boy to give Raven a slice of pizza so she didn't have to get up. Now Raven is playing a random game of chess with Speedy.
Poor Beast Boy, his feeling for Raven are really tormenting him. I feel sorry for Speedy the next time Beast Boy sees him.
Thank you Starfire. Finally making Raven see the mistakes she made and how they hurt Beast Boy. From laughing at the idea that she and Beast Boy could date, to the spin the bottle game and the pity kiss. In nothing else, she got the message across that Beast Boy liked her, even if she was skeptic about it. Starfire also thinks Speedy is in for a world of hurt from Beats Boy.
That sparring match was pretty brutal. Speedy didn't make it any better by being a sore loser in the end. Raven is still in denial about Beast Boy liking her, but she at least see that she needs to talk to him.
What is this, an actually revelation from Raven on how Beast Boy treated her over the year. It almost seems to good to be true. Starfire seems happy that Raven has finally accepted that Beast Boy likes her and what her own feelings are.
Oh dear, neurotoxin in the candles. That is pretty bad.
Of course just as Raven realizes her feeling she would be hit with the Joker's toxins. Of course.
| RPGPersona chapter 9 . 8/19
So through some of Beast Boy's nightmares that Gorilla Godd played a hand in getting Beast Boy infected with Sakutia. Poor Beast Boy is still suffering nightmares over what happened. At least it is only one a night and he fall into a peaceful slumber afterwards.
Oh Starfire, I get that you are trying to help, but all you are doing is driving the knife deeper into Beast Boy's heart. I was wondering if Beast Boy's depression and pain from earlier would come back after things with Slade settled down and here it is.
The Joker, that is not good. Beast Boy seems confident that as a team they can prevail. Robin is of course worried about Starfire getting hurt. Beast Boy was quick on the draw and made sure Starfire didn't handle the booby trapped gifted. Raven also noticed, but lacked Beast Boy's reaction time. Oh boy, a giant toxic bomb that can take out the entire city. That is really bad.
Beast Boy narrows down the search area by the direction of the wind, so that helps. However the Joker is not making things easy. Releasing three villains and coating them with the toxins to prevent close combat.
Burning the toxins away with a gasoline fire. I feel like that is quite the dangerous method. It worked, but the team is getting really worn out fighting. Cinderblock was even more exhausting. Starfire made a slip that got her injured and forced Raven to drain her reserves helping her. Cyborg is damaged and Robin is running out of disks. Beast Boy is stuck only trying to deal with Cinderblock.
Robin planned ahead better than I thought, Titans East to the rescue. After getting rid of the toxin surrounding Plasmus, Beast Boy suggests to renew the search for the bombs, siting them as the bigger threat.
That was quite the elaborate method to disable Joker's bombs. Beast Boy ended up being the only one able to sneak in to drain the contents. The Joker planned the trpa quite well, but Beast Boy pulled through.
With the threat gone, Beast Boy mind ends up thinking about how Raven would never date him, sending his mood back down the abyss. Raven of course senses then and realizes the issue from before Slade are still there. She know the whole spin the bottle game is what started this, but can't understand why the no kiss of the cheek is hurting so much.
So we get to see Beast Boy's pocket space, eerie. Even Raven was freaked out waiting there. Little awkward upon getting out with Raven wrapped out around him.
| RPGPersona chapter 8 . 8/18
Happy sure is happy that Beast Boy is back. Knowledge addresses the elephant in the room by talking about how Beast Boy survived an encounter with a Grim Reaper. Knowledge has no idea and checking Slade's body confirms that a Grim Reaper was most likely involved.
I see Rage is focusing on her namesake by smoldering over the news that Beast Boy likes someone. She wants to find out who it is and kill them. Knowledge trying to reason with her has Rage bring down the deal to mentally scaring the person to scare them away from her Beast Boy. Rage then shifts gears to Starfire, saying she needs to die for being to close to Beast Boy. Rage certainly is possessive. She tries to get Raven to see her point of view, but quickly gives up trying to get through her thick skull.
Poor Beast Boy is still feeling the scars from his time as Slade's apprentice. Even if the impulses are gone, he still has the memories of what he deal, along with the feelings he felt at the time. Raven tries her best to comfort him, but it is a little rough.
Things still seems a little awkward with the team trying to reintegrate Beast Boy in. Speaking of which, Robin makes things more awkward by pushing away Starfire again.
Beast Boy wastes little time going to comfort Starfire. He tries to make her feel better. Amusingly Starfire turns the table on him by asking who he likes. It is a bit sad seeing him put himself down so much. So Beast Boy can do neck/shoulder massages, the more you know. Starfire and Beast Boy talk a bit about themselves and have some bonding time.
As I thought, it was Beast Boy's heart that saved him form being Slade's puppet. His hatred of Slade and his love her Raven allowed his to break free. Starfire quickly figures out who he likes. Oops, Raven walked up to the roof to comfort Starfire to find Beast Boy already there. Even though she said she would do nothing, Raven can't help but frown and want to push them apart.
I don't believe it, Beast Boy actually got through to Robin and got him to take a chance at letting someone in, even if it leads to more pain. It is interesting comparing Robin and Beast Boy. They both have such similar pasts, but ended up so different.
I am guess that tome is made from human hide, which is why Raven is so repulsed by it. She really wants to solve the mystery of the Grim Reaper and Beast Boy living. There we go, Robin is actually getting close to Starfire.
More chess time for Raven. She seems happy to be back into her little routine.
| RPGPersona chapter 7 . 8/18
Looks like parts of Beast Boy are peeking through. 'Beast Boy' can't bring himself to kill people even though he wants to. 'Beast Boy' is totally unable to understand concepts like kindness and bonds in his current state. I shudder to think what the operation did to him.
Raven walking around completely drained of her powers. The boys will be alright, but it really is risky for Raven to wander like this when she can't defend herself properly.
Suddenly Madam Rouge. Raven is in no condition to deal with her now. So rumors of Slade's attacks have reached other villains. Rouge came to investigate to see if the Titans are indeed weakened. Good thing Beast Boy appeared, Raven would have been in trouble otherwise. Rouge is not ready to deal with a Slade trained Beast Boy. If she wasn't so durable, she would have died many times over. In the end, he injected her with poison and forced her to regenerate and spread the poison around. Raven was able to stop Beast Boy from killing Rouge, but he didn't stay behind either.
Finally some good news. Aqualad heard form some dolphins about a green bird that hunts twice a day at sea and finds an island to eat on. Raven plans to approach alone, hoping that will get him to be more willing to talk. Robin is of course in full caution mode, but Raven wants her friend back and plans to do it her way.
While it is good to see 'Beast Boy' react favourable to Raven's presence, it is eerie to see Beast Boy so unfamiliar with many of the terms Raven used. Negotiations successful. In the end, 'Beast Boy' couldn't say no to Raven.
What Slade did to Beast Boy was horrible. He basically took everything away that made beast Boy, Beast Boy. It is scary to think that if the implants stayed in long enough, the process would have been irreversible. Thankfully the point of no return hasn't been reached. Once again, the fact that Slade didn't try to instill any loyalty into since apprentice has come full circle. 'Beast Boy' barely hesitates to remove the programming of the one he hates.
The devices were thankfully easy to remove, and with some healing from Raven, Beast Boy is already starting to peek back through. Both Starfire and Raven were so happy that they gave Beast Boy a nice big hug. That is saying something for Raven, considering how little contact she allows, and the fact that Beast Boy just finished vomiting over the fact he ate seagulls.
| RPGPersona chapter 6 . 8/18
Look's like something is stirring within 'Beast Boy'. A feeling he can't quite place towards the hooded girl he fought. One thing is for sure, he doesn't want to kill her.
I see Starfire was the first to consider the possibility that Slade wanted a new apprentice. This idea helps renew the hope the female Titans have of seeing their friend again, since Slade needs Beast Boy in one piece to serve him. Starfire quick on the draw to point out the most effective use of Beast Boy's powers for evil.
I was hoping with the revelation that Slade his made Beast Boy his apprentice, but the girls would figure out that it was 'Beast Boy' robbing the bank. I mean the animal poison should have been a dead give away.
Good to see at least Starfire is cautious about Beast Boy attacking the tower. She was the one to say that Beast Boy's abilities lent themselves to assassinations. The other should be taking things more seriously, and shouldn't be assuming that 'Beast Boy' will start a fight where he is outnumbered.
Well, there it is. Really, where is that desire to kill coming from. He is full of animal DNA, not demon DNA.
Those attacks on the others were brutal. Not much I can say about them.
'Beast Boy' couldn't bring himself to hurt Raven. In the end he retreated, not wanting to fight. Knowing Slade wants her dead, he ends up turning on his 'master'. So the Slade training him was a robot, didn't even consider that option. I guess that trick is something he learned from Terra's betrayal.
The one's Beast Boy attacked are lucky to survive. It is good that they will all recover eventually.
That was an ending twist I didn't expect. Slade summoned a Reaper to kill Beast Boy. Instead of killing him, it bowed to him and turned on Slade instead, having no choice but to collect a soul now that it was summoned. Beast Boy also recognizes the Reaper.
Things are getting interesting. I wonder if with Slade gone, 'Beast Boy' will return to the Titans. Good new Raven, you won't have to become a murdering, Slade killed himself for you.
| RPGPersona chapter 5 . 8/18
This whole ordeal must be getting to Raven if she had a sleepover with Starfire. So Starfire was dreaming of Robin and of Beast Boy. Separately, or at the same time? Regardless, Raven retreats as she senses Starfire's dreams getting less innocent. Raven is really tearing herself up trying to figure out who Starfire was dreaming of.
Hey look, Raven did go to Nevermore. I feel like Raven saying everything will go back to normal once we find Beast Boy is going to become Raven new catch phrase for a while. So Knowledge straight up tells Raven that Rage has developed feelings for Beast Boy after seeing him dominate Robin and Cyborg. Okay, Knowledge example of how part of Raven can feel a spectrum of emotions was hilarious. I am now picturing Brave repeatedly slamming her head into rocks.
It was sorta creepy seeing Happy casually talk about killing Slade like that. Seeing her other emotions agree was also eerie. It is rare to see them all agree on something. After finding out that revelation, Raven can even feel her own fury burning.
A bit of a girl talk with Starfire and Raven. Starfire is a bit sad about where she is in the romance department. Robin obviously has feelings for Starfire, but refuses to act upon them. Starfire see Beast Boy as another potential romantic partner, but she can tell he likes someone else. It was pretty amusing to see Rage and Happy chime in during the conversation.
Well, the money is being stolen. Time to head out. So the money does disappear from trackers once 'Beast Boy' shifts. 'Beast Boy' noticed something was off with the money, but couldn't figure out what, so he took it anyway.
I really want to know where this rising desire to kill that 'Beast Boy' has comes from. Is it part of Slade's conditioning, because it doesn't feel natural at all.
Well, the team meets 'Beast Boy' again, but it appear he is not recognized. 'Beast Boy' notes that Raven is familiar, and hesitates to hurt her.
That was a close call. Good thing Cyborg noticed the poison right away. It helped save his, Robin's Speedy's and Bumblebee's lives.
| RPGPersona chapter 4 . 8/18
Memory erasing it is. Slade is not making things easy for 'Beast Boy' with training. The information about his shifting and how he can morph objects with his is quite fascinating. I am not surprised that Slade would be intrigued by it and try to experiment with it. There is that bank robbery that Beast Boy joked about earlier.
I am not sure if I should be relieved or sad that 'Beast Boy' got money undetected without the Titans appearing. It was an impression job where he made full use of his abilities to avoid detection and secure a large sum of cash. This confirms that 'Beast Boy' is aware that Slade is conditioning him, but with no memories, he has no where else to go.
So Slade's combat training involves using the Beast form. He also has Beast Boy keep the armor and bo-staff for versatility and protection. Then there is that Rage business as well.
The team is still exhausted trying to locate Beast Boy. Raven is pissed that they are being pulled away from the search. It seems that the team eliminated the possibility that Slade was using Beast Boy due to the amount of money being taken. I bit narrow minded. They should have considered the possibility that there was a method for Beast Boy to carry that much money away.
Well, it looks like they have a method to track the thief. That could be useful for finding Slade's lair unintentionally. Good on Bumblebee putting her food down and making sure the team got their rest.
That was quite the vivid and specific dream Raven had. I question why Slade would want to use Beast Boy to bring forth Trigon at this point. Was it the alcohol period that had the impact on Rave, or was it the specific types. Raven's physical and mental state could have played a role. Regardless, things got quite uncomfortable for Raven and it took Rage to put a stop to it. I am glad that Aqualad wasn't trying anything funny.
Will Raven go to Nevermore like Rage demanded?
Getting 'Beast Boy' to kill animals, that is just cruel even for Slade. I hope the team can rescue and restore Beast Boy soon.
| RPGPersona chapter 3 . 8/18
Well, if nothing else, Beast Boy has pushed back his negative feelings enough to act more normal. Both Robin and Cyborg are still scared that there will be a repeat of yesterday.
He makes an interesting suggestion to the villain training exercise, wanting to add the prison to the mix in order to test and improve its security. It is a good idea I think and could help prevent breakouts in the future.
Looks like Beast Boy has decided to make it up to Starfire by trying to push her and Robin together. He starts by complementing Starfire's perfume and getting Robin to comment as well.
Raven finally tried Beast Boy's tofu eggs. She found them close enough to the real thing that she had no problems eating them. This is why is should always try something before you condemn it.
Cinderblock again? That is way to soon to be anything but a trap or distraction. Beast Boy continues to help Starfire. This time he suggests that Starfire rides with Robin to conserve her strength her battle.
Trap it is. Cinderblock with Slade bots. Just Beast Boy and Starfire on Cinderblock with the rest dealing with the robots. As expected, it is a tough battle, and Beast Boy is having a hard time repeatedly ramming into Cinderblock.
Huh, so Slade's goal was to capture Beast Boy, I wasn't expecting that. Anything he wants a Teen Titan for is not good. The Titans pushed themselves to exhaustion, but couldn't find any trace of Beast Boy. Robin, Raven, and Starfire pushed themselves to exhaustion, with Cyborg only able to keep going due to his part robot nature. The Titans East are also called in to help, but still nothing.
Slade thought that prison through, it is quite Beast Boy proof. So Slade's goal is another apprentice attempt. Slade admits that Robin is too similar to himself to work out, so he is trying his luck with Beast Boy. Oh Beast Boy, you always make getting captured by a villain amusing with your banter.
Transformation via surgery, that is not good. It can mean so many things as well. Are Beast Boy's memories going to be erased? His personality rewritten?
| RPGPersona chapter 2 . 8/17
Yeah, as I thought. Beast Boy can't muster up the willpower to act like his normally cheery self.
Wow Cyborg, really. That is just mean. Not only reminding Beast Boy that Raven walked away when he spun the bottle, but throwing out his food as well. I think Cyborg deserved what he got when Beast Boy had his blood her breakfast.
Well, there goes Cyborg. Really Robin, you too. Beast Boy isn't even in the room. Robin's attitude is really inconsiderate for Beast Boy's feelings. Raven knows this, which is why she mentions that they should have finished the game, which of course makes Starfire feel bad.
Everyone is quite shocked to see Beast Boy asking to eat meat. Okay, that was amusing. Transform into a T-rex to drool over the food and just nibble on it. Raven is expecting some sort of prank herself since she walked away on her own.
Well, it appears that Robin's torture is not over. He gets Starfire to feed Robin the drooled on food, and teaches her about indirect kisses. This prompts Starfire to add her spit to the food.
Raven found the whole thing hilarious, to the point where she had to excuse herself to find a safe place to express her emotions. Happy and Rage seemed especially pleased. One person who isn't pleased is Beast Boy. Not surprised to see he was just forcing himself. I didn't expect him to be able to feel happy after yesterday.
Raven goes to try to cheer him up, but fails miserably. She brings up the kissing, and the fact that Beast Boy tried to pay to get someone to kiss him. She suspects that the game was important in some way to him and tries to apologies for how it ended. She really seemed worried about his depressed indifferent attitude.
After rationalizing yesterday that offering him the kiss after the fact would be a bad idea, you do it anyway today and wonder why it was received badly. Beast Boy just filled with anger at that. After seeing her immediately walk away during the game, seeing her reluctantly suggest to finish the game way after the fact just cuts him deep.
Raven seems really worried about how Beast Boy is feeling and is sad that she wasn't able to lift his mood.
So as revenge for earlier, Beast Boy is going to play a villain and the others are going to fight him. He did a good job avoiding his team mates while disabling them. He was nice enough to get them cleaner to get the paint and smell out. He also apologized to Raven and Starfire.
Starfire was a double apology for this morning as well. An interesting talk where both Starfire and Beast Boy are confused that Robin refuses to date Starfire when they both love each other.
So Raven has been playing chess with Beast Boy. It almost feels normal, though it is clear that Beast Boy is still not doing okay.
| RPGPersona chapter 1 . 8/17
Time to check out another one of your stories. This has been a worst day ever for Beast Boy hasn't it.
All Beast Boy asks is one day off a year, now due to bad luck (villains) he wasn't able to get. Instead he gets berated in battle being told to focus even though he wasn't goofing off. At least Raven and Starfire were on his side. Robin really needs to unwind. Blaming Beast Boy for every injury and scratch, when he suffered the worst is petty.
Raven did notice the injury and healed it for him. She also noticed his negative emotions and asked if he was okay, but Beast Boy didn't seem in a talking mood so she gave him space.
Even after the criminals are captured, Beast Boy can't get his time off. It really is effecting his mood. It is bad enough that Raven notices the difference and can't help but wonder what is wrong with Beast Boy.
Here comes Starfire shifting the mood with a desire to play spin the bottle. Kissing on the cheek to get those more reluctant is a sneaky plan. Starfire got what she wanted early on. Poor Beast Boy, he was the only one who didn't participate in the game. When Starfire spun to him, Robin dragged him away. When Beast Boy spun the bottle, Raven declared the game over and left.
Really guys, you deliberately set things up to make Beast Boy get left out. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Raven gets enveloped in Beast Boy's strong emotions after the game ended and is forced to meditate. She feels bad about not letting him get the kiss, realizing he was the only one left out in the game. Seems like Raven is the only one to notice Beast Boy's dark mood. She plans to talk to him about it later if he isn't feeling better.
So part of Beast Boy feeling so emotional is that he realized he has a crush on Raven. He then immediately thinks that he isn't good enough and that Raven walking out was proof of how disgusting he is. Poor Beast Boy, he really needs more self esteem. The part of Beast Boy trying to get a kiss was sad to read. He just wanted to experience what the others felt and ended up being called diseased.
The kicker being that the Titans are called to find the diseased person causing trouble. That just makes Beast Boy feel worse about himself. Raven also put two and two together about what happened, but stayed quiet for his sake. I can only imagine the damage to Beast Boy psych if Raven spoke out.
Of course the target wasn't found and Beast Boy returns home in a miserable mood. The end part was really sad. Beast Boy truly thinks no one will love him. So the reason he wanted a day off was due to it being his birthday and the anniversary of his parent's death. It must have been tough trying to be himself the whole day. We learn that Beast Boy positive, goofy attitude was born from his parent's advice. I think it is nice that he tried to honor his parent's memory that way.
Poor Beast Boy, when he pictures the futures, he just sees himself alone, without love. His hope is wasting away. Something tells me he won't be himself tomorrow either.
| reaper11 chapter 12 . 1/26/2015
I just realised beast boy could have used the hammer of God on cinderblock to knock him out easier
| Dixxy chapter 18 . 1/2/2015
Alright, so this is another magnificent story, which deserves all the praises. I had been somewhat lukewarm abt ADD ODDS, but this story here finds me fully delighted again. It's not 100%, but pretty close anyway.
I'l start with the bad, to quickly get rid of it, and focus on the good.
TYPOS : ya may advocate that ya re-read and corrected it, yet there remains numerous misspellings, especially in the first and last chapters (the middle ones are okay). Did ya use Auto-correct, by chance ? Coz honestly, that thing may be meant to help people, yet it rather is a hinder, correcting stuff that doesn't need corrections and leaving typos where it should correct them. Best is to correct yourself, and so i've told other writers. In case ya did it yourself, though... well, ya can do better ! ;) Maybe ya were tired or distracted, to leave so many in your story... I'm sure ya could hv submitted a much more correct text with a bit more focus. NO hard feelings, eh !
REPETITIONS : if there's one thing i dislike in yr otherwise awesome stories, it's your repetitions. It can be word repetitions (verbs "muse" and "intone" hv been used excessively, until nausea... finding synonyms was a better way to make yr story even more qualitative, style-wise !), villain repetitions (Cinderblock is kind of a worn-out enemy in yr stories; i understand if ya like it, but it's monotonous to always find him there... Same thing wz Adonis, even if in less excessive proportions (it also used to be the case wz Dr. Light, btw)... there are enough enemies in TT to use more than always the same ones), sequences repetitions (showers in AT ODDS, massages in this one). See, one thing i hate in life is monotony, routine, so i quickly get bored when people show little originality in their expressing themselves and limit themselves to the same patterns, on and on. On the contrary, i'm always admirative when people try to vary their glossary and find new expressions to avoid repetitions.
TIME EXAGGERATIONS : As pointed out in AT ODDS, ya sometimes use some really really short sequences sometimes, some that are not realistic. In this one, when Star brings back mail, ya say that it takes him less than half a second (if i remember well) to grab the mail from her... which is a tad too short IMO ! And in the next chapter, when BB is flying over the schools to try and find the one the Jocker trapped, ya say that his look focuses less than a second on each building. Can one actually FOCUS in such a ridiculously short time sequence, less than a second ? I don't think so. Ya can sure choose brief moments to express these, but careful not to exaggerate ! Otherwise, it seems impossible, unrealistic !
CHARACTER REACTIONS : I get BB's reaction and his animosity towards Speedy, knowing that the latter was trying to seduce Rae, yet i don't deem it acceptable for him to attack the archer. Indeed, Rae wasn't together wz BB at the time, so anyone would hv the right to come to her... making it therefore unjust to be attacked for ! He could have talked to him, or tried to act himself in order to hv Rae get attracted to HIM & not Speedy. But his violent reaction to Speedy wasn't right.
Also, i was extremely disappointed by Starfire's proposal to share Beast Boy. That really was... stupid ? Maybe not, but of a really dumb naivety. How could someone like Raven, so special and different, ever agree to such a thing ? But that's not the worst. After Rae clearly stated, in her icy tone, that she refused to share... Star even had the nerve to RE-PROPOSE Star the same thing later ! She hears herself being coldly denied the sharing, yet STILL asks again ?! Really, really disappointing reaction, even for someone naive as Starfire. A NO is a NO... why insist, especially if the initial request was already almost insulting, disrespectful ?!
And finally, as i said, the Raven-Aquald incident was uncalled for, as a reviewer pertinently pointed out. Because such a dramatic plot device cannot come out "free", and has to yield a certain aftermath, certain consequences. Relationship bw characters should change, be altered to some extent, because of the drama. There should be an outcome, regarding this unwanted sexual fondling. Yet no. Nothing happens about it. It's just there and has no influence on the relationship, or wz BB. It's as if disconnected from the whole plot, wzout consequences. So, as such, it shouldn't be there. Because dramatic scenes aren't meant to occur wzout any cause or consequences, they must have some influence on the story, even the slightest one. Too bad, really, that ya put this here.
That was for the constructive criticism part. Now to the positive.
This story is so wonderful, so fantastic, so catchy, so moving, so breathtaking ! I have to admire such great authoress as ya ! Your plots are so clever, so well-crafted, so imaginative ! You really are that talented, Girl ! It's always such an almost unspeakable delight to dive into your fantasy world !
The Slade part was just awesome, and i wish ya had stretched it on longer. I would have been curious to see Ghostling have more interactions wz the Titans B4 surrendering ! It was really admirable, and so dramatic !
The Joker part was also terrible, so suspenseful, so frightening, with that neurotoxin thing... The cliffhanger wz Raven falling unconscious due to that neurotoxin was a real must ! I liked how they had difficulty to locate the gas, how BB sneaked in there and did all the precision job ! BB is actually almost as brainy, if not more, than Robin or Cyborg... I also enjoyed how they cured Harley Quinn ! Poor of her... i really felt sorry for her...
And then, the marvelous stadium final battle wz the GG, wz BB sacrificing himself and Rae turning into her fully demonic self... That was of an absolutely incredible intensity !
The last chappy, wz the nostalgic remembrance of BB's childhood, was so touching, so sad... I must tip my hat at ya for such brilliantly moving stuff ! What great emotion flowed from this !
The three last chapters were absolute gems, of baffling quality, high up in your best chapters ever, i think ! Kudos for the whole story, of course, but even more for these three !
And naturally, naturally... there were the so sweet moments bw the lovers ! Mmmmmh, was that nice to read ! And funny how ya made Rage so sweet, so amorous in this one... therefore so remote from her usual ferocious self (except for last-to-one chappy, eh eh !). And hoe the emoticlones constantly bothered Rae to hv her soften and give in to Love's power, with her then rebuffing them. Eh eh, that was pretty amusing !
There was so much imagination (except for repetitive stuff...) in this story, such cleverness, such brilliant ideas, such endearing character behaviours, such suspense, such intense battles and searches that i'm absolutely "sated", literary-wise, after finishing it. It was a gem. All your stories are gems, some brighter (THE EMOTICLONE WAR, SHAPES, this one) to me, but all are fantastically qualitative and brilliantly "plotted" !
I humbly bow before your astonishing talent, and i really have to tell ya (if i didn't yet...) that you've become my fav' wriTTEr, no less !
Once again, loads of thanxxxx for this superb fiction here, and looking forward to read the last 2 sTTories ya published !
Bravo, bravo, bravo and bravo, "Ghostling" ! ;)
) L (
| RavenSerendipity chapter 16 . 11/9/2014
Haha. Loved how raven accidentally brought robin out of his shower, and then proceeded to humiliate him. The funny part that nearly made me choke with laughter was when she said that robin had been flashing them. Seriously, I nearly died laughing. :D