Reviews for Separation
ZadArchie chapter 12 . 5/25/2020
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

So, I guess Grace wasn’t ready to talk about Jake just yet. That’s kind of surprising to me, in a way. I was hoping to see Serena get some closure on that matter. But, then again, it is a big thing to talk about and probably requires more time. I’ll have to look at your profile to see, but does this story have a sequel? Looking at the author’s note, there might be one. I’ll have to look out for it the next time your name comes up in my anti-spam list.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 11 . 4/7/2020
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Interesting way to sort of end this one before the epilogue. It almost feels like you were setting yourself up for sequels. I’ll have to check your profile the next time I get to read one of your stories to see if that actually was the case. Either way, you’ve given readers something to enjoy that feels like a small divergence from the anime series, but still keeps up with the spirit of things. It’s your own take on the story before the story was fully revealed, and I think it’s a nice addition. Certainly more interesting than the formulaic, borderline boring, structure of the actual show.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 10 . 1/13/2020
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Definitely a lot going on in this chapter. I’m kind of glad we didn’t make this fight longer like the last one. It helps keep the action constantly rising and falling like a roller coaster at a good pace. I’m also glad that Floyd kind of had a come-to-Jesus moment and finally did the right thing. I know there are only a few chapters left to go, but I am curious what his fate will be.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 9 . 1/6/2020
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Looks like the confrontation isn’t over yet. Adam is out for revenge, and he didn’t wait long. However, what was really powerful in this chapter was Serena’s speech to her pokemon. I can see where she’s coming from. It wasn’t like she was interested in a journey, not in the traditional sense. But the fact that she sees herself as selfish is a powerful one. Her apology to her pokemon really shows how strongly she feels about this, and I think it made for an interesting scene in this chapter.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 8 . 12/24/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Definitely a good back and forth for this battle. Sometimes when I read Pokemon stories, the battles are incredibly boring, but this managed to keep things interesting. Plus, you found a way to give some surprises and real strategy into this, so that helped bring everything together. I was glad that this did end with Officer Jenny finding them, because I don’t know how much longer this plot could have gone on and still stayed interesting. This marks a good halfway point in your story.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 7 . 12/22/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

This was definitely a very intense battle, better than any of the wimpy Team Rocket battles in the show. Also, Froakie was a total boss in this fight, and yeah, I am kind of biased since Froakie was my starter for XY. But still, he owned that fight for a long time. And as for the fight itself, it was definitely an even back and forth that kept you sitting on edge. The fact that they ultimately lost was a twist I wasn’t expecting, but it was a good one since it opened Serena up to save the day.

On that note, I do find the whole consciousness talk with Jake to be a bit out there, even for a Pokemon story. I’m not sure how I feel about a visit to another realm to talk with dead people in a story where there’s already enough suspension of belief. But, eh, it does the job to motivate Serena.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 6 . 6/4/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Lots of interesting techniques at play in this one such as Serena’s mental conversations and the flashback. However, what really stood out in this chapter was all the tension. You could feel it at every moment with anything Adam tried to do. It all came to a fantastic boil when he was about to throw Bonnie in the fire. But that ending. Nice! That was well-worth the wait.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 5 . 5/26/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

I’ve got my suspicions on what the big secret is with Jake, and I’m pretty sure I’m right. What has my attention, though, is how Floyd is going to handle it. He is a good person at heart, but will he have the strength to stand up against Adam and the others? That’s building some good tension for your story.

Of course, the way this chapter ended was nice as well. We get our first glimpse at Ash and Clemont since being separated. But, Adam is going to do what he can to keep them separated. I’m sure everything will work out, but the question is, how is it all going to be solved. Only another chapter will tell.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 4 . 5/12/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

I really liked the back and forth between the story and the dialogue between the characters in the story. That was a good use of the story-within-a-story framing device. It really helped me imagine Floyd telling a story to Serena and Bonnie while still being able to imagine the events that were going on in the past. I’m still waiting to see some more information on what happened to Ash and Clemont, but things are still staying interesting here with the main group.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 3 . 3/9/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

Yes, this did turn out to be an interesting turn of events. I didn’t expect it. Though, I’m pretty sure Serena and Bonnie are going to find a way out of it. But, you definitely know how to keep the suspense going. We still don’t know what’s happened to Ash and Clemont.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 2 . 3/3/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

I think you’ve definitely got a good setup going for this story. In essence, you’ve now split it into three different stories. Two we’re aware of. Serena and Bonnie are traveling together, dealing with all of Serena’s emotional baggage. Good luck Bonnie. That’s going to be a long trip. Adam and Floyd are on their own, which could turn out dicey depending on Adam’s mood. And we’ve yet to see what happened to Ash and Clemont. But, I feel we’ll soon find out what’s happening to them.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
ZadArchie chapter 1 . 2/17/2019
So, I’m just going in order of the posts on that WA thread to help counteract the spammer. So, yay, another review for you!

This definitely was a good start to this story. It definitely has a good hook that readers are looking for. I’m more interested in the four incompetent thieves than Ash and Serena right now, though. Who are these four? Who are they stealing for or why? Does it have anything to do with Team Flare? Those are at least all the things I’m concerned about for the moment.

As always, a courtesy review to another person plagued by the spammer is encouraged to help pay it forward.

Best,
Zad
Guest chapter 12 . 12/31/2018
Sequel?
MythGirl Writes chapter 1 . 8/1/2017
For this only being published when there were four XY episodes, this is really promising! I love it already!
PandasInMittens chapter 2 . 3/29/2017
SerenaIs that a FIRE?!" Me: No, it's a storm. When you see a fire, IT'S A FIRE.
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