|Reviews for Scorpion King Alternate|
| Evil reviewer chapter 1 . 11/3/2013
What I have to say is basically nothing good, borderline hating even if you want to call it that but I feel it must be voiced regardless of whether or not this/these opinion/s is/are liked:
You work could use much improvement just like this story which I find dry and simply tedious as it is unimaginative... Sadly however I can say the exact same if not creepily similar in regards of your -numerous- other stories, almost all of which playing the exact same cards which in turn sap the interest one familiar with your work may have to begin with. Provided of course they haven't been dissuaded from reading your stories between the significant number of incomplete stories of course, some of which seemingly giving off the aura of being abandoned altogether if the last update dates are an indicator.
Numbers aside however, the greatest flaw lies in the characters you basically favor, your treatment of them, and how you have others react to them if you will. To spearhead my point I use the very character which not only exemplifies my point but ironically embodies the very bulk of your stories: Shinji Ikari of the Eva series (to which the life of me I could never properly spell). I'll be brief to save time:
You always play the sympathy cards (I.e. cruel father, emotionally tortured life, abusive/neglectful roommates in this case) for an -already- sympathetic character to gracelessly achieve pity, empathy, and such from other characters in a shallow attempt to have them give dome affection to them to get the story rolling. When introduced to a crossover (which often employs the previous tactic mentioned to have Shinji accepted), you power them up to unrealistic levels in an explosively short time frame to which also detracts any authenticity to it (even if reasonably explained in both arrival and power up) which if lucky doesn't do anything to harm nor really improve the story. And there is, to bluntly put it, how easy it is to have your characters shallowly fall in love with or at least like one another upon first contact.
While the last isn't as resolutely true as the previous two in comparison, I still stand by it. Of course in one story does this third grievance seem to actually work in the stories' favor oddly enough, I forgotten the name of it but basically it involves Shinji being Mizore's (Rosario Vampire) husband after he inadvertently stumbled into the valley of the snow women, and even then at least Mizpre gives off the vibe that she knows it isn't exactly love how she pictured it but will go with it anyway...
My point being however is that while there are times you have written fairly great pieces of work, you seemingly rely on only a specific set of traits and overused them to the point that it no longer truly works. That and with the mounting number of incomplete stories, it just seems you no longer care about them anymore.
like it or not, I believe this needed to be said. Have a nice day.
| Ant Crown chapter 1 . 11/3/2013
The same could be said for Bond villains but alas Those would be foot notes.
Besides, 2nd Mummy flick is now ruined (then again Scorpion King had an additional 2 more films to do the Heel turn...)
| edboy4926 chapter 1 . 11/2/2013
Short but good one-shot.