amazing story

PLEASE UPDATE! I love this story :) 3

The tone of this story is very mellow and the words flow together quite nicely. It reminds me of reading lord of the rings. My only issue with this, is that it isn’t really my typical style of story I enjoy to read.

I like that you decided to create a civilian OC as the love interest. That is unique, if a bit on the bland side. What aggravates this further is that your character is so very vanilla. This follows the same arc as, say, Twilight. As in, new girl moves to town, girl is immensely attractive, all boys want girl but girl is shy and reserved, girl meets “dangerous boy” (in this case kakashi) while she is accosted by a bigger, meaner man, “dangerous boy” rescues female from dangerous situation, kakashi even comments about how “heavenly” the girl smells (just like Edward in twilight), he takes an unnatural interest in her that devolves into straight up stalking, she realizes it and yet she is okay with it, they fall in love. That’s it. Except that’s on like, chapter 12. And this story goes on for much longer.

My other gripe is the way that the story is one giant exposition dump. You lean heavily on narration. There are light sprinklings of dialogue, and you describe an interesting dynamic between the characters but unfortunately we never get to experience it first hand. You simply state that it is so. I would have loved seeing a different side of kakashi, the one you described, where he teases her and pushes more and more until she blushes and he is smug with satisfaction at earning the response. But what did he say to cause this? What did she say in response? I don’t know, and that’s disappointing. Talk about a let down. At least we got to see their first kiss.

Overall, it was fine. But that’s it. Just fine.

"Body reacting like a bimbo"..? Big of an odd phrase

I like it

I like it. Comedic just like the show

I've read this story a few times, but I still really enjoy it. Seeing a civilian characters viewpoint is nice

Please countinue this one! This is getting good!

like to read more.

I hope you will continue this story. I am in love with this OC centered love story with Hatake Kakashi :)

Thanks for the hard work love the story _
Please don't drop _

I just made a grave mistake.

I'm halfway through an UNFINISHED STORY?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I have to keep reading, I'm in too deep, but I feel betrayed. :*(

This is a fantastic story, and I hope you come back to it somedsy.

It's so nice to read an OC-centred love story since there arent't much in this fandom here or any other. What I really like is that Shiori is a civilian, very different but still amazing. For me it's shows that not all character have to be some badass, overpowered character who usually share the 'I-have-to-grow-stronger-to-protect-my-loved-ones' mind to marry one Hatake Kakashi. Nothing bad about it, but it's get kinda boring for me...

Really enjoyed this story, the chapters feel well-paced and there's a homespun simplicity that I find endearing about the characters.