|Reviews for Fire fire|
| bloodspillwolf1 chapter 1 . 11/13/2013
this is really good. i like it.
| Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . 11/10/2013
Why did Bailey have to be left behind when there are hired hands for the place like Alma's father? There is no way they could run such a place with just the four of them. Mind you, having Bailey stay behind because someone has to do the chores isn't much bettWhy did Bailey have to be left behind when there are hired hands for the place like Alma's father? There is no way they could run such a place with just the four of them. Mind you, having Bailey stay behind because someone has to do the chores isn't much better. The series creators had to come up with an excuse to have Bailey stay be the one to receive the call and not one of the adults. If one of the adults had been the one to take the call they would have to come up with a design for a character that would have only shown up for a very brief time period. It's a way of cutting down on budget costs. A better explanation then the one you gave as to why he would have stayed behind is that he's having to stay and do the chores because he got in trouble for something and it was his punishment. On the positive side it seems you noticed that the chore aspect was odd in the first place.
The middle part is not a remake of what goes on. That is pretty much what goes down within the actual plot of that episode. Changing up the dialog doesn't make it new. What is new is Bailey moping about not getting to go and the end part though are new. They're both really good stories and you can tell that they're your own creation because your “voice” comes out in those parts, but in the middle parts your voice doesn't come out. Because you're just retelling another persons story in your own words they also ended up being shorter then the parts that are your own story. Since it really isn't your story I suggest cutting the middle. The beginning and end can stand real well on their own without the middle part.
Of course it won't be a remake then but a missing scene fic. You may be thinking something along the lines, “but I've seen movie remakes that follow the same plot as their original so why can't I do it as well”. They're allowed to do it because they have the permission to make a remake. For future reference remakes in fanfiction are supposed to focus more on being different versions of the original version rather then just being a new version with a few minor changes. I'm going to add to this missing scene fics are rare in the majority of fandoms out there while remakes are not.
The last thing I'm going to say is something you're not going to like. The grammar needs work and it would do you some good to try and find a Beta who is strong in grammar. From my own personal experience working with a Beta who is strong in grammar can actually help you get over your grammar problems. Avoid telling people that your not good at grammar as well. Yes, people will point out that your grammar needs work. There is nothing wrong with them pointing it out and if it bothers you to have it pointed out then that is even more reason for you to get a Beta to help you out grammar wise. Pointing it out only makes it so people notice the problems you have more.
Two last things. First, it is Alma, not Elma. If there is something a writer should work on getting right it is the names of the canon characters. Second, there are no OCs in this story. Mr. Handler despite never showing up is a canon character within the series, he just doesn't have a character tag as of yet. You can send in a request to the site admins to have it added though your e-mail account. Instructions for doing so are under .