|Reviews for Harry Potter Jedi|
| Golden Light 001 chapter 5 . 6/25
This is a very interesting view into Dumbledore and Harry's thoughts.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 6 . 6/20
So apparently in your mind Jedi!Harry Ravenclaw!Harry. I'm not seeing any indication that anything Star Warsy is coming up any time soon.
I am seeing a horrifyingly cliche Harry/Hermione pairing though. I had some hope that Harry would make some new friends, but alas, no.
| mckertis chapter 8 . 6/11
Chapter 8 - first actual mention of Jedi. Boring.
| lalo80 chapter 1 . 4/24
Porfa actualiza pronto
| PaC chapter 17 . 2/27
Carols, as in Xmas, Joshua-akaJesus-mas carols.
JKR mixed in too much muggle CHRISTIAN Xmas IMO.
If you THINK about it, the magical world would just not logically be chock full of much Christianity and Christian celebrations..
And seeing the milky way, even if some super magic cleared all that fog and mist that is JUST outside in muggle London, Diagon lighting up with Xmas lights, your eyes are not going to see the milky way, you need it REALLY DARK and CLEAR to see the milky way.
| PaC chapter 6 . 2/26
Last line, "new friend and wise old mentor" was a bit over the top super trusting and idolizing, a Harry that one would THINK would not be so committed so quick, to be THAT trusting of admiring of this Dumbledore, all things considered.
The #4 living issue: Out of no where, JKR adds possible MORE plotholes with book #7 with the fleeing wedding, and fear of "the trace" put on Harry by a Voldy run ministry. Maybe the taboo on Voldy name was in play, then the kids LOL manage to go months without saying "Voldemort". But before then, contradicting a LOT of plotholes about underage magic events, we do have IN CANON, Dumbledore telling Harry, there is NO underage monitoring of individuals, that it is mostly a ruse and only AREAS can be monitored, so in a magical area, with adults around, NO MONTIOR, it's basically underage muggleborns and Harry that are BLAMED for any magic detected NEAR where they live.
So PUTTING some LIMITS in a thought experiment, HOW monitoring might work, one can put an enchantment or ward or both, NEAR the home of the person to be accused and Hopkirk office deciding BLAMED for any spells that monitoring detects. So Harry can protect himself at #4, either GET special permission for him to use magic, or don't, simply remove or disable monitoring devices. Not a big deal, but as you write it, your Dumbledore contradicts canon Dumbledore, and if you go with THAT canon Dumbledore about underage magic, Harry at OTHER locations, most places, is free to use magic, #4 and say places like Herminoe's home are monitored but most places are not. It also IMO makes sense, to put some limits on capabilities of magic, that doing something "BIG" might be too complex, or that complexity too expensive to implement, or possibly too difficult for magical "technology" to accomplish.
| PaC chapter 5 . 2/26
Less than midway through this chapter, the writing and fic really seemed to find traction and hit its stride, or shifted into higher gear, whatever sort of metaphor fits.
I am negative on cliche mindscapes, your muggle "mind palace" without being the usual super complex multi-thousand word ridiculous description[and so UNLIKE how brains actually function], was fine, palatable, artistic, interesting.
I'm also negative on the plot gag, of WWII being all run by and blamed on Grindle-boy. Wizards at war, using a muggle war, to TIME their war battles to help with the stature of secrecy problem, OK, that's reasonable, but having wizards mostly in bed with Nazi's and shit, LOL, never the Japanese it seems, but all that sort of stuff, I find lame.
I'm not against fictionalized historical drama, but it rubs me the wrong way, as it basically makes excuses for actual "muggle" persons responsible, blaming evil wizards for the deaths of millions. Sure it's FICTION, but still bugs me. Sort of a "the devil made me do it", forgive me, there, I'm forgiven sort of excuse.
Evil real folk in real life, get a sort of pardon, like Lucy Malfoy and all, with being under the imperious.
Now, I don't tend to like and might not continue a fic that follows most of the canon road map, it takes very clever twists and surprises to keep my interest for such fics. Whether that happens with this one, and even though it is perhaps abandoned, the writing is excellent, great talent, whether I stick with it and read all that is posted or not.
The Dumbles interrogation of Harry was SUPERB. Harry was extremely intelligent but not omnipotent, not out thinking out maneuvering Dumbledore, some of his success was done SO WELL, as random "luck", like hitting sore spots, such as the question that had Dumbledore thinking of his sister, then the question knocking Dumbles back footed, having him having to tell the tale of him and Grindlewald if he was to be honest.. AND Harry PUSHING for honestly and reasons to trust Dumbles, that Dumbles TRUSTS Snape lurking there in the background, even though Harry didn't point that out, it puts a bit of a handicap on Dumbles for EARNING Harry's trust. Considering what Snape did, then DARES to try to have Harry punished, THAT is truly disgusting. I hope the cliche tongue clicking is an actual tongue lashing in the fic, when Dumbles speaks to Snape.
Though extremely intelligent, you didn't have a Gary-Harry-Sue, he wasn't perfect, didn't talk rings around Dumbledore, it was JUST EXTREMELY well done, up near that Gary Sue edge, but not crossing it.
Bloody fantastic writing in this chapter.
I only WONDER, considering the "adult" Snape, trying to have Harry punished, basically LIES, BIG LIES of OMISSION, that he DARED try to get Harry in deep shit. I DO HOPE we get a scene, Snape asking about Harry's punishment, IDEALLY whether it is in front of the other professors or NOT, it would be nice if Dumbledore did, scold Snape, PUBLICLY [in front of the other professors], admonish Snape, tell him there is NO punishment and WHY.
You have a NOT the usual MOB or evil Dunbledore here, and his FULL TRUST in Snape I HOPE has taken a HIT, when it comes to Snape's inexcusable behaviour here, as it is in so many fanfics and in canon...Harry chided, scolded to be the adult, to RESPECT Snape, while Snape acts the man-child Bully scum he is.
| Team503 chapter 27 . 2/16
Argh! What a wonderful story, so well thought out and complex and interesting, and it's abandoned! Tragedy strikes again. :/
| ProditorMagnus chapter 27 . 2/16
It was nice read. First 15 chapters were great, around 25 it was getting difficult to read, and here it got back to normal.
| ProditorMagnus chapter 20 . 2/14
Had to look up about footing.
| Sir Tristan chapter 19 . 1/25
| csheila chapter 27 . 1/21
Terrific story. I hope one day you return to it. Love your HHr and the supporting characters. Plus u put real effort into changing canon/characters. Loved focus on Sue/Padma (different magic types). Not to mention the gadgets.
It makes sense HHr don't act 11. Harry especially never got a childhood
| FierceDeityLinkMask chapter 27 . 12/2/2015
Why should Harry have to tell every little thing? Can't he just say none of your business for once? Half of every chapter is "Why didn't you tell me this?"
| s-david-m chapter 27 . 11/16/2015
A fun retelling of first year so far. I think Harry is a little too precocious, and they're advancing a little too quickly to be realistic, even with Harry's previous experience. After all, you said he had to practice for a year to sense people and another year to move things, but here they're practising up to fifth year magic even before first year exams, and making meaningful progress.
I also think you make them a little too studious. Eat, class, study, repeat, with maybe some rule breaking once a month. This doesn't describe realistic preteens, even exceptional ones, let alone two such people in the same school. Everyone takes a break for some fun now and again, so what do Harry and Hermione do for fun? The fun you've described so far is mostly just more work and reading. You have had a few moments of levity, but they only seem to show up once a month in story time.
I think the amnesia "accident" was an excellent wrench in their flawlessly progressing plans, leaving Harry unusually exposed. It would have been a good plot device for some action or nefarious plot twist, but it just got resolved quickly and with little fanfare. I hope there's something critical he forgot that will yield some excitement in the future!
Your Dumbledore/Harry dynamic is interesting too. Dumbledore seems to keep expecting the worst from Harry, and often seems surprised. Still, he seems to think some of Harry's qualities are negatives, like looking for simple and quick solutions. Why should one expend more effort than necessary to solve a problem, when you can spend that time doing some other type of good? We would all be walking everywhere with that kind of thinking. Still, your Dumbledore seems more open and helpful than canon, which makes him more reasonable overall.
Overall a well written fic, despite my minor nitpicks above, so I hope you post more chapters soon!
| s-david-m chapter 24 . 11/16/2015
A memory wipe potion, interesting. Seems like Harry would spend a lot of time in his palace to try and restore it. Dumbledore should also immediately tell him of his mind battles with Voldemort's shade, as the most likely culprit, against which Harry should be prepared.