|Reviews for Never Ending Nightmare|
| MissTiraMissSu chapter 1 . 12/16/2013
Your first fic! Exciting. I'll try not to be too harsh.
When a character speaks you have to give them a new line. When a new character speaks you have to do so every time.
"All my fruit is gone," Sally said.
"I ate it," Bob replied.
Commas go after speech when you're using tags like above.
"All my fruit is gone." Sally frowned.
When followed by an action you put a period. There is an instance where you have an action followed by speech and though the speech is another sentence you did not capitalize the first word. Unless it is continued interrupted speech, it is always capitalized and treated as a new sentence.
Also, you make accidental comma splices. It's okay, used to do them too. The correct punctuation is a semicolon; a semicolon is used to connect two closely related sentences with a pause shorter than a period but longer than a comma. Your description and such is fine, we get the feel and surroundings. You just need to work on your speech and formatting. I'd be glad to beta if you'd like. Keep writing and keep learning!
| Alison Ocean chapter 3 . 11/23/2013
He's going to die?
| purehalo chapter 2 . 11/19/2013
That was such a great second chapter! I love how you're building this and keeping the humour also is just great! That last line was just perfect!
Can't wait to read more !
| purehalo chapter 1 . 11/10/2013
This is a really interesting start. Looking forward to seeing where you go with this. I love that you're bringing in overwhelmed Ichabod is, we don't see enough of that in the show (yet).
Can't wait for the next part!
| DeathGoddesses chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
Whats after him?
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
Wonderful! Can't wait to read more.
| Alipeeps chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
For your first fic, this is a pretty good start. If you don't mind a bit of concrit there are quite a few typos/grammatical mistakes here and there and it does feel a teensy bit rushed... don't be afraid to take your time describing the action, let it flow. I think it would help you to find a beta reader who can read through your work and check for spelling and grammar issues and give you some pointers on the structure and composition.
I like the concept though and am definitely interested to see where this is heading (is the loud banging a sound from the waking world? Something banging on the cabin door?!) :)
P.S. You are going to freaking *love* episode 6! It's AWESOME! :D