|Reviews for Hero of the Everyman|
| Annon chapter 23 . 7/10
It's been such a fun journey, thanks for the wonderful story!
| WhyTryHarder56 chapter 16 . 7/9
I am stunned. Absolutely befuddled. You could even go so far as to label me as flummoxed.
In all sincerity, i must say that chapter 16 is undoubtedly one of the most hilarious things ive ever read XD. Great work on this story and i cant wait to finish it, but it's nearly 2AM.
Best quote ever:
No one dared rush the main kitchen; it would be suicide with Edna and her potatoes.
| UnlimitedFreeIceCream chapter 23 . 6/28
A beautiful story. It was exciting and suspenseful, heart-rending and heart-warming, tragic and glorious. It's been a great journey, I literally hadn't managed to pull myself away from the words enough to do anything but click "Next".
Thanks for sharing this piece with us!
| rickyg209 chapter 23 . 6/26
Awesome story, I hate to see it end but it was one of the better fabrics I've read in a while.
| Isodrink chapter 23 . 6/26
It's review time.
Let me start this off with saying your story is good. Pretty good!
You execute the Jaune/Weiss relationship pretty well and make it pretty sweet, although one could say it's idolized.
However it's enjoyable to read, which gave me an ok attitude for your changes in teams (RWBY to RPBY and JNPR to JWNR), which I usually dislike.
You have actually a great villain. He's very well set up and has a very satisfying background history. Thumbs up for that.
Your humor is good, I liked it.
The plot development and the fight are pretty good of what I read so far.
There are a couple other points I liked, but I got to make this short.
In short I believe you're pretty strong in the light humorous romantic department, kudos.
However, there are also parts I disliked.
For example the few chapters about Payne and his compadres. While admittedly Payne&Co are well thought out characters, I never really cared that much about them. Can't tell you why. What I did care about were Jaune, Weise & Co, which made me wish the parts about Payne and friends were shorter.
In general you do like to jump from a scene of the Jaune/Weiss crew to an OC to give a more roundabout view of all the actions and allow the reader to have a more detailed picture what happens in total. While this is a good strategy, they were too long for my taste (For example the chapter that starts with the story of Peter Rollins and how he gets the data).
This leads to another part: You have a very detailed and descriptive writing style. That shows you put a lot of thought in your world, which is one part why the story is good.
However, it also leads to you writing paragraphs with information that the reader in summary does not need and does not induce emotional interest. My prime examples for this is your description of the history of the Metrolite, with it's own history etc. .
I believe you could improve the story by making things shorter in general.
A suggestion of me would be asking yourself the following questions:
Which information does the reader need?
If there is a character which you are going to kill five paragraphs down the road and which has it's first appearance in this very scene, is it necessary to give an incredibly detailed description of her?
Can you make descriptions of places shorter than they are now (example: Your description of the place when your villain makes the first appearance in chapter 13. Is information about the well really necessary)?
Since I just noticed I'm kinda running out of time I'll end the review here.
My statement in the beginning stands still true. I liked your story.
Thank you for sharing it with us. Best of weeks to you.
| Schniedragon88 chapter 23 . 6/22
Friggin' wonderful. I'm greatly saddened that this piece has reached its end, but what a ride it was!
Firstly, I want to say how nicely you wrapped this story through the last chapter. You could have easily spread it into maybe two, but you managed to make what appears to be month's worth (might be shorter, if it was it seemed longer to me) of recovery on Jaune's part feel natural to read. Ordinarily I may have had concerns over squeezing such a long period into one chapter, but the cuts between time were perfect and the descriptions of each period well-paced. Nice job!
Weiss posing at his wife... that's heartwarming right there.
Those friggin' ending paragraphs, though.
Short review for the story as a whole: Obviously, I loved it. You managed to make the romance feel natural, which is the biggest concern I have where a romance fic is concerned. I think any pairing can work so long as the writer has the sufficient skill, and you knocked this one out of the park.
The fact that you made it into a conspiracy/adventure type story is awesome, too. The plot was engaging and the OC's interesting (another gripe I usually have).
This also felt very polished to me; I couldn't find any errors of note. I might reread it sometime in the near future, though, so I might catch something I missed.
All in all, bloody well done! Its always bittersweet when a good fic comes to an end, but does it ever hurt so good! Can't wait to see more from you!
| Kami no Kage chapter 23 . 6/21
I can hardly believe it's over. This has to be the single best JaunexWeiss fic I've read. It was one of the very first ones that I read when I first got into RWBY, and it still has to be one of my absolute favorites.
It was a wild ride from start to finish, and I loved this ending, though I'm so sad it's over now. I hope you continue to write such great stuff in the future. I want you to know that you have a diehard fan in me now!
| Maxaro chapter 23 . 6/21
*crying tears of immense sadness and joy* I don't want it to be over!
You're such an amazing writer, this is exactly the ending I was hoping for; Jaune and Weiss being happy. I excitedly await your next masterpiece of writing.
| Kuro kaze no aka kira chapter 23 . 6/20
It was an amazing ride. Thanks for giving me the chance to enjoy this with you. Also, for getting me into the SS White Knight. Thank you, senpai!
| Tommy2486 chapter 11 . 6/20
And we have lift off
| SilentWriter59 chapter 23 . 6/20
Well Congratulations! You completed a story and a very good one at that. I am sad that it is over but I am glad it didnt go on permanent hiatus. Still... what happened next? The eternal question, but seriously is rather blank of any detail about what happened to them, I kinda hope we get an epilogue just to tie up any loose ends and give a view of the story down the road ( and I want to know what happened to the guy who broke into Fort Knox cause a girl asked him) but i can accept this. This is a great story, you did a great job and I will keep an eye on anything you do in the future.
| Demonshark96 chapter 23 . 6/20
Perfect, absolutley loved it, I can't even right now. This is without a doubt the best white knight fic in the entire fandom and will remain the best until you decide/ if you decide to write another.
I will say that I would love an epilogue but this story ended perfectly. I really look forward to reading more of your work.
| Texa52 chapter 23 . 6/20
Firstly screw taxes
Secondly, I'm in Hong Kong, America can't touch this
| DocSlendy chapter 23 . 6/20
Hmm, this was a damn good story. Honestly, I enjoyed getting to read this at seven in the morning. good thing to wake up to, though this story is completed I look forward to the next story you come up with.
| LeoSalvador chapter 23 . 6/20
Please tell me that's not the end :c I wanna know how Kia takes to Jaune having a girlfriend and the wife stuff and all the things and mehhhhj