When you come back and read this story cause it's so good and you'd like to see a just as good sequel.

After re reading this, I just realized you put a Skyrim reference in here!

Oh MY GOD! THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!XD

This story was great! Good pacing, compelling original antagonist, twist on Cardin, and someone learning to fight without aura! That Ninjas of love scene is just THE best way to end it. Sequel when?

thanks for writing!

Suddenly Solaire of Astoria comes from the sun itself, plunging his sword into the heart of the man who dare make a mockery of the glorious sun. He then proceeds to grab the man's head in both hands before twisting with the force of a thousand solar flares all the while shouting, "DO NOT TRY TO MIMIC THE GLORY OF THE SUN, FOR ONLY IT CAN BE SO GROSSLY INCANDESCENT." The mockery falls to the ground, and Solaire turns to the mortals who look in awe and shock at the majestic being which as saved them. Sunlight then envelopes the loyal servant of the sun, and the man makes one last gesture, as outstretched taking in all the rays of the glorious light, shouting, "PRAISE THE SUN!" He is never seen or heard from again.

sees a cut up guy doing class normally, calls him a pussy. Cardin Winchester everyone.

..,.words can't describe your greatness Oh lord of fanfiction...XD

I love you. Like holy fuck, if I had the equipment to do it, I would have your kids. This shit? This shit right here? This is some mighty good shit it is. The fluff, the romance, the laughs, the mystery, the intrigue, the fights, the thrill, the edge of your seat, all encompassing feeling of "get the fuck up you lazy fucks, WE GOIN ON A GOD DAMN SUN BITCH HUNT" And I do mean sun, not sum as in sum bitch. I loved all of the characters. The rat thief, the detective, jaune's hometown friends. The pacing, and build up to the finale, the climax of this mighty story, just about made me climax. Please, keep on being amazing.

I liked this story very much and I still do at least the first about half of it after that It just kinda fell off for me and I lost interest but eh oh well still compliments on a nice well written story that I'm sure many people love completely unfortunately the second half just lost my interest

you did an awsome job! the ninjas of love thing confussed me though

Goddamn... You make me feel warm and fuzzy with this story.
This is one of the best fic in RWBY. Could you please write a sequel of this fine literature ?

Considering this started halfway through the first season, I'm actually pretty impressed with how damn good it turned out. The canon material jossed pretty much everything in this story, but that didn't stop it from being a very entertaining read regardless.

The only real problem I have with the story is how everyone other than Jaune and Weiss has so little to do. Ren and Nora have a bigger role early on, but as the story goes on, they're still mentioned here and there, but they don't really do anything significant. Ruby, Blake, Pyrrha, and Yang suffer this even worse. I feel like the story would have been stronger if the side characters were developed more.

That being said, I thought you did a GREAT job on your original characters, even if they don't fit the naming convention of the show, they are all great characters. I liked Slade, Kia, and Crazy Pete, though I REALLY wish you'd have made a scene where Weiss finally gets to meet these people she's heard so much about. I liked team BSQT and I really wish they were canon! Payne and Jonas were both great characters as well, and I kind of wish you gave closure to them, they did so much to help root out the trouble in the city, even giving Weiss a key piece of the puzzle as to where the cult is hiding, and they don't get a real ending to their short stories. Finally, there's Peter, and I know it's probably not that popular of an opinion, but I really liked his sole chapter where he steals the data for Weiss, it gave a real Mission Impossible vibe, and I loved it.

I also commend you on the romance. It was cute and sweet and all, but what I liked about it the most was that they actually got together halfway through the story. I was starting to worry that the Unresolved Sexual Tension between them would last the entire story, and then BAM, I sighed in relief and Jaune finally went ahead and confessed his feelings to her. I've never really been in the Jaune/Weiss camp before, but I find it endearing in this story, though it's worth noting that Jaune and Weiss are very different characters from their canon counterparts in this, and I don't think they'd mesh as well together in the show.

I like how the first half of the story is sort of just Jaune going to school and adjusting to everything, with the most threatening thing being Cardin. Then you switch gears halfway and make it into an almost crime drama before finally going full overdrive into the whole 'save the world' kind of story. I enjoyed the whole ride, and I liked the transitions the story took. The escalation of danger progresses at a pretty natural rate, going from Cardin, to Grimm, to the cultist in the last half.

Overall, excellent work. I would honestly love a sequel where you tackle the more recent canon material in it, or even just a one-shot showing Weiss going to his village for the first time.

Regardless, keep up the good work.

So. In terms of remoteness of a sequel to this beautiful piece of literature. What are we talking?

My desperate need of a sequel aside. This was an amazing, amazing piece. I absolutely adored these versions of the characters. I just wish we got to see more of them.

I like this Jaune. Your interpretation of Weiss also pleases me. I especially liked how you had Jaune naturally protect Weiss. Despite being somewhat cliche, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy when he does those things and Weiss gets embarrassed.