Reviews for Opacity
CrazyAce'n'PokerFace chapter 1 . 2/3
thank you for a lovely story. it was great to see the events of the manga form mamura's pov.
Mamura Daiki chapter 1 . 11/29/2014
I felt like I've just read the manga.
Nice grammar, nice choice of words. My heart is broken because of this story. Too much emo sentences. Haha.
Aaaand, they're still in character. Lol, that is so obvious, no shit.
Chuu chapter 1 . 3/18/2014
Really good!
Anjell chapter 1 . 3/6/2014
...I have only good things to say about your fics and writing. Opacity is so long! And you covered everything with such love and invested so much time in this. What I want to say is - thank you for sharing these fics (and helping me tide over my HnR withdrawal phase). This fandom is so small now, and you're making a significant contribution and helping it grow. My only (invalid) complaint with Opacity is that it doesn't cover the most recent chapters :-P Ha ha! Well I'm off to munch on a virtual cookie now ;-)
Anjell chapter 1 . 3/6/2014
Hello there, kindred spirit! I'm also completely and irrevocably in love with this manga! And now enduring the agonizing wait for every new chapter -.-" And in the meantime - obviously I have nothing better to do with my life - I go back and read the entire manga again. And as if that wasn't enough, I just read this fanfic which is basically a recap of what I already know by heart, and I enjoyed it every bit as much as the original source. Perhaps more so since this is Mamura's POV. What can I say? I ship Mazume till the very end. Nothing against Shishio there really any other couple that is as awkwardly sweet as these two?! I read your other Mazume fics too, I'll go back and review them later. Only good things
Guest chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
More! Pleeeeeeease?
Blessed Unrest chapter 1 . 1/11/2014
Woooowwwwww you got pretty much everything :) Is this going to be multi-chapter?
luckyfree3 chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
I can tell this took a while to write! I love it so much and seeing the entire manga from Mamura's POV, very IC. Ahh I can't get enough of him!
Dusk Roses Bloom chapter 1 . 12/2/2013
Veryyy nice! Mazume is great, don't you think?
Lycheez-its chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
this was really lovely. good job :)
Rosa chapter 1 . 11/28/2013
I read your other HnR story as well. I think you should be careful of using terms like "male" and "female" because they are impersonal to the point of being clinical like a laboratory situation. Those words can be alienating. Also, you don't have to use decadent wording in all your sentences- this applies to the first story actually because with the second you toned it down. I can tell you love words, but juxtaposing sudden lavish vocabulary with a clinical or disempassioned style can be too jarring. You must remember these are teens around 16- the way they think and speak should fit with the way their story is told. You obviously want to be able to use varied and rich vocabulary seamlessly in your work, so it's important to get to grips with how words are used and when it would be appropriate to use them, so I recommend you read a lot. Read everything from Voltaire to Austen, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky because they are classics for a reason. Then introduce yourself to modern literature and then to contemporary literature. Reading improves writing. I do think you made a good effort though and I'm glad someone is writing HnR fan fiction! I love the story as well and I've been rooting for the Mamura Daiikix Yosano Suzume pairing since the first chapter.
Ochin-sama chapter 1 . 11/24/2013
hehe you wrote more than you had expected hehehehhehe
LegendaryMalZ chapter 1 . 11/12/2013
As confusing as it was, this story is great, even for people like me who are not familiar with the series. Seriously, though, I prefer names over pronouns, but that's how the story was meant,

Soooo, in conclusion, where's my cookie? :D
Ilse chapter 1 . 11/11/2013
Omg! This was perfection! I can not describe how much I love your writing style. I feel like I got to know what Mamura was actually thinking during the scenes, as though I got a glimpse inside his mind. And that is amazing! I loved how precise you were with the language, and how you used a lot of similes. I really like that in writing. Please don't ever stop writing! You should totally write fanfics about what would happen if Mamura and Suzume actually got together, because I would be reading them up in a giffy! lol. No but seriously, did I already mention this was perfect?!
kurusui chapter 1 . 11/10/2013
hey, thanks for writing mazume fic! i really enjoyed it and if you write anything else i'll be sure to read
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