thanks a lot for your time. Nice job.

What a beautiful story! Thank you ever so much for sharing it with us.

I enjoyed your story

Fantastic

I don't normally review, as I'm too critical to feel like my words are helpful, but this is a sweet story I almost missed due to other reviews, so want to add a counterpoint:
This story is NOT bashing.
This story is almost entirely about Harry growing up a bit, in a slow and organic way. Telling off his best friends for their behaviour during Hermione's worst point in her character arc? Not bashing.
The one element of possible bashing is the way the author has Ron react to Harry's confrontation with Hermione. Some angry words that aren't taken as gospel truth are NOT bashing. Authors using their godlike powers to make characters into horrid parodies of themselves is bashing. Harry's accusations that aren't completely canon are entirely plausible to be in his own head, like them not liking him befriending others.

Anyhow, a slow and relatively uneventful story, but a sweet and realistic one, with very human characters.

I have to agree with the other commenter, that this story is Ron and Hermione bashing. But also, as bad as you make them out to be, your Harry isn't better? Only that you think he is, which makes me glad I'm not your friend.
I'm sorry. If one ignores the fact that neither you, nor your beta, have ever heard of commata, this story is not badly written. But I can't stand reading further.

What will happen next time

Good

I know it's troublesome to figure out how to make a plural out of last names ending in "s," but it's easy. Just add "-es." So it's "Tonkses." As silly as it looks and sounds, it is the correct form, believe it or not. (Personally, I think it sounds like something Gollum would say. ;D)

I like the fact that Harry is learning trust, as well as how to determine WHO to trust. That's the hardest thing to learn when your early life has been the hell Harry's was. And it's especially pleasing to see a story where McGonagall gets her head on straight and starts thinking for herself instead of taking Albus' every word as gospel.

That's what always bothered me about that Quidditch match: It's one thing if the Seeker is taken out by a Bludger during the game; that's actually a fair match. But the dementors clearly constituted outside interference; in the real world, the rest of that match would have been postponed at the very least, if not cancelled altogether.

I do like the way this story is shaping up so far. I especially like the fact that Harry's behavior due to having been an abused child is actually far more realistic even than in canon.

good thing this harry wasnt gunna cont in such a toxic relationship without speaking up

I don't think this story would change anything when it comes to most of Canon, for Goblet of Fire. Even if Harry made a lot of friends in third year, most of his friends (example: the Gryffindor Quidditch team) thought he put his names in the Goblet of Fire, and called him a cheat or a liar. Hermione was the only friend he had for most of November.

If Hermione was not his friend, Harry wouldn't have survived the First Task, let alone the whole Tournament, even with Barty, Jr's help. So if Harry doesn't see Hermione as truly loyal to him, the first thing he'd do is rant and yell at her when she brings him toast, the morning after the Goblet of Fire spat out his name, and ask her if she's just like Ron, if she believed he put his name in the Goblet too. If she gets flustered, and doesn't immediately assure Harry that she believes him that he didn't put his name in the Goblet, Harry's going to assume she's just like everyone else, and run off. He'll ignore Hermione, or tell her to piss off, when all she wants to do is assure him she believes him.

If he ignores her, he dies in the first Task, because he isn't able to learn the Summoning Charm without Hermione's help.

Basically if this story actually happened in canon, Harry would be doomed in his fourth year.

"You do this a lot, you assume things Hermione," Bam, peak-Hermione bashing right there.

Changing your summary to "Some Ron and Hermione bashing" would stop comments like this in the future.

Ron saying "Well, it isn't really the same" is peak-Ron bashing. Much of Harry's discussion with Ron is Ron bashing. He has the same attitude, along with the whole "I blame you, Harry, for having stuff I don't have" gig in plenty of Ron-bashing stories. (I should know, I write a lot of Ron-bashing stories)

Change your summary please. If only to say "some Ron and Hermione bashing". You're lying to your readers if you leave it as is.

Harry sure did a lot of Ron bashing in this chapter during the "So it was wrong" rant.

Fix your summary please.