|Reviews for So Long|
| Skyewardshipper chapter 40 . 3/2
Please update! I love this so much
| Sakura Crystals chapter 40 . 9/28/2016
Are you still working on this story? I really loved reading your characters interact. Hope I get to see more someday?
| inactive site member chapter 3 . 5/2/2016
Contrary to popular belief, there are only two companies that produce comic books for fanboys: DC, which is owned by movie whores Warner Bros., and Marvel, which is owned by family-oriented media behemoth Disney. For a brief time, there were many other companies, such as Image and Dark Horse, but those were run out of business in 1995.
| inactive site member chapter 2 . 5/2/2016
Comic fans do not have the sense the good Lord gave a retarded, dead mule. Because of the fact that comic books from the 1930's are highly lucrative items, they imagine that all of their comics will be just as valuable someday. Even though most high schools teach basic economics classes, the concept of "supply and demand" is WAY over the pinheads of these smelly *ss-faces, who will not understand, no matter how many times it might be explained to them, that the only reason 80-year old comics are worth anything is that there are only three of them in existence, as opposed to the thousands and thousands of comics produced since, which will never be scarce, because the same douchebags who want them to be rare are ensuring that they will NOT be by packaging them to withstand fires, floods, bombings, and nuclear holocaust.
| inactive site member chapter 1 . 5/2/2016
The following troll review is designed to entertain and make fun of Marvel Comics than anything Mondhase wrote.
Marvel is home to heroes with sh*tty movie adaptions, like 'Ghost Rider', 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine', 2 shitty 'Hulk' movies, and 'Iron Man'. Marvel's original cover gallery in the 40's, when the company was called "Timely", consisted entirely of Hitler getting punched in the nose every month. Marvel, every 5 years, creates new first issues of each existing series, and when the previous volume would reach a "milestone" (such as 500th issue), changes the numbering to reflect that, so gullible fanboys will buy 10 extra copies of newsprint. Marvel, a poorer company than DC, focuses on an epic, money grubbing event every YEAR, all of which end with something that leads into the next event, so no fanboy drops any titles from the company, ever. Also, they produce terrible comics written with even worse dialogue, and charge a dollar more, because it gets them even moar money from fans. Marvel hires real world writers with real jobs to do their books, such as Jeph Loeb, Orson Scott Card, or J. Michael Stracyznski. The downside is these writers can't write their way out of a paperbag, but fans still buy their comics.
Marvel's "best" talent is a bald guy named Bendis, who creates nearly their entire catalogue, and writes 20 pages of word balloons such as this:
Spider-Man: 'How do I shot web?'
Wolverine: 'Like this, bub. SNIKT.'
Wolverine: 'Really, bub.'
Wolverine: 'Really. SNIKT.'
Spider-Man: 'No way.'
Wolverine: 'Way, bub. SNIKT.'
Along with 2 pages of fighting. Seriously.
| Team Wingless chapter 1 . 3/9/2016
Hi, and thank you for your extensive review of my story Star Wars VII: The Force Reimagined. I read this story bc I return all reviews. Reviewing as I read.
Opening: "So long." That's what I was prompted to say. I have a rule of not opening with dialogue unless it's something that is going to make me stop dead in the middle of the New York City Subway system during morning rush hour. The preceding sentence was exponentially too long as well and though I'm not an English teacher something is telling me it's a run-on. You seem to connect two sentences together. I'd separate the actions into separate sentences and shorten them, as its critical for the hook. The one thing you did great though was start off in the passive voice. I'm an advocate of that.
However, the fact that your entire prologue is written in the passive voice is a no-no. In my opinion the passive voice is good for an opening but actions should be switched to active tense after that. "Blinked" instead of "was blinking." How this applies to your second paragraph is that you have two "ing" words right next to each other. "Blinking, prompting." It's bad meter and the brain notices these things, whereas "blinked, prompting" flows much better. Also, don't be afraid to break things up into sentences. Replace most of your "and's" with periods because it gives the brain a chance to reset.
There's a lot of filler, ex "and still," "as far as" "at least," and it's unnecessary. These words don't paint a picture or add flair to a voice, they just take up space.
All in all, it seems like an interesting premise, but the piece itself is arbitrary. Characters are essentially sitting in chairs contemplating. Those aren't interesting actions at all unless you're Stephen Hawking who can't do anything else but sit and contemplate and is famous for it, but when you boil this prologue down to its bare basics, it's Agent Ward sitting in a chair and Agent Coulson asking him "what happened." Did we really need all of this filler before it to get to that act?
Another huge pet peeve I have is when characters ask people to "tell them about it again," as if they already know and have had an extensive explanation but just want a character to repeat it for the audience. I get aggravated in real life when people ask me to repeat myself, so I gather characters in stories would as well.
I'm canon-blind, so I could be off about what readers in this fandom like. Hope this input puts things in perspective and helps somehow.
| ima chapter 40 . 12/3/2015
pleas update as soon as possible
| xTheSecretDiaries chapter 40 . 11/28/2015
Awesome fanfic update soon (:
| Sreya chapter 40 . 11/19/2015
*snickering* If they really think Skye is going to stay in her bunk, I've got some beachfront property in Nevada to sell them...
| Guest chapter 40 . 11/18/2015
Loved the update. It's nice seeing Skye get all firey about things again and especially nice seeing her butt heads with Coulson.
| bhut chapter 40 . 11/18/2015
And so, Skye is beginning to return to her original self, which is good. Grant is becoming more humane, which is also good. Fitz and Simmons continue to develop their own relationship, which is wonderful. And the plot is actually cheery for a change, which is cool too. Thanks for the update. :)
| dreams of infinities chapter 40 . 11/18/2015
Great chapter! I'd like to see a bit more from Fitz and Simmons - I feel like they haven't really been involved in the plot much. Update soon.
| Shayde Revelle chapter 37 . 10/28/2015
I knew it. I fucking knew he was alive! It would just have been too easy had he actually died.
| WinnieTherPooh chapter 39 . 10/23/2015
Nice chapter! Good job bringing in elements from episodes.
| Guest chapter 39 . 10/23/2015
Loved the chapter! It should be interesting to see how Skye will react to a wrench wielding ghost.