|Reviews for Feed Me Your Wand Mr Potter|
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
Have you read your own work ? (Hint)
Also your romance is to fast !
Hate to nag you but look at the part where it's says: but I know me hate my potions class !
It should be: but I know he hate my potions class !
The Crimson Mage who hate's to nag !
| Alexi Styles chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
Ok. You have the potential to write well and the basic knowledge of what constitutes an average smut piece. However, it comes across a bit flat. The sex lacks full erotic description and there is not context as to why Harry or Snape have suddenly done a 180 and now fancy each other. The erotica can be padded, you don't have to be a sex expert or even need to have had sex to write about the subject well. It does help to have read other fictions of a similar nature and copy their style. - I recommend this if you like Harry/Snape. You can write in an interesting way as you demonstrate in the story and have potential, spend some time developing your work, researching and above all don't write for reviews. I have made this mistake myself in my teenage years. If you write only thinking about reviews your writting will never improve because you will be so busy trying to bang out a story the depth and thought will disappear. I think you will have some very successful stories if you continue to hone your skills :).